Are We Still Cowards?: The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

Gathered together from the cosmic reaches of the universe, here in this great screening room with comfortable recliners, are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled. Keith!

Kinda, I'm like, hey, this movie I've heard is supposed to be pretty good. She goes, you know what else I heard was supposed to be pretty good?

Terry!

Yeah, this is just not a good idea, parents. If you're listening right now, I know you're looking at that bottle of whiskey, you're looking at your 10-year-old. Just stop.

Derek!

Begging like a gag.

And the power twins, Zap and Jordan, with their magical lemur snort dedicated Welcome back to Fumbling Their Way Through Movies, one forgotten gem at a time.

This week we deliberate with 2005's The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

This is Fumbling Through Film.

Father, do you understand how long they can put you away for this?

It's been explained to

me. The District Attorney's Office doesn't like it when religion holds itself above the law. And this prosecutor, Ethan Thomas, you're gonna need somebody hungry and smart and aggressive to even have a chance.

And what would your strategy be to defend me against such a formidable man?

That depends.

On what?

On how you want to be defended. What's your main concern other than staying out of jail? Is it how you're being portrayed in the media?

I don't care about my reputation. I'm not afraid of jail. What I care about is telling Emily Rose's story.

Hello and welcome to another one-of-a-kind, genre-defining, brand new episode of Fumbling Through Film. The only show that dares to bring together 3 dudes to talk about movies. These, however, they aren't just any movies.

True. It was proven in court of law just last week.

Objection.

Wait, what? Objection.

You can't object to an already processed courtroom, whatever.

You're walking on thin ice, counselor.

Oh no.

These aren't—

You can't handle the truth.

These are the movies.

No, sorry, wrong movie.

That we've missed, overlooked, or feel are simply worth revisiting. And though that is factually any movie, that's the facts. Well, sometimes it takes a little more. Defense and prosecution rests. I'm playing both sides and we've come to an agreement.

Can't we both?

I am.

Well, unfortunately for you, I'm the jury over here and I vote that it's all fine.

Well, the jury has been nullified.

Dang it.

My name is Derek and I am a fumbler. Joining me in our sequestered fumbledome while we go over the facts with a fine-tooth comb is the Prime Minister of Fumbling and Film, Keith.

Hey, hey, what's up? I'm KG, fumbler extraordinaire. It's all hearsay.

Oh, it is.

Watch it, counselor. Not in my courtroom. Uh, we— to bring to the stand our medical expert. He's the Dr. Dre of Kansas.

Oh, good one.

He is Terry.

Hi everybody, I am a medical expert, um, and I have— I can diagnose just about any problem.

He's a doctor, not just on TV but on a podcast as well.

Man, I am either really loopy or you are on fire tonight.

You know what, I just got done watching our movie and I got my, my brains firing on all cylinders.

All the neurons are flying by.

All the neurons are firing. At full speed. I got some caffeine in me. It's late night. Let's rock and roll. You know what else has got caffeine in it and is ready to rock and roll?

What could that be? Not us.

Terry.

Usually there's some sort of conversation that leads into this, but it's this podcast.

Oh,

and, uh, we should let people know what it is. Why, why this podcast has caffeine in it.

Yeah, why?

It's because every week we watch movies, but not just any movie. I just contradicted my own testimony. I mean, I perjured myself, apparently.

Now this is all being recorded. We've got the interns writing down everything.

It's a mistrial. Every week we watch movies, but not just any movie, because every month one of us chooses a theme, a genre, some sort of guiding light, a taped testimony presented as fact, but Could easily be refuted. And we, what we do is we adhere to those guiding lines. Is

that our podcast? Fake testimony that can easily be refuted?

Yes.

It kind of is. Like, I mean, we, we've had many of these times where like, Terry, you and I have even said like, we felt one way about the movie going in and by the time we got done discussing it, we switched up our opinions on things. So yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we've all had that happen to us.

You don't admit it, though.

Well, yeah, because it hasn't happened yet. But when it does, I'll

admit it. Oh, he'll admit it for sure when it happens.

Yep, for sure. Anyway, we each choose movies that adhere to those themes or easily repeatable testimonies. And then on the 4th, we could truly fumble by letting the wheel sentence us to a movie.

Yeah.

Anyway, this month, DTF, Down to Fumble. Y2, year 2, M11. The M stands for month. And that is a Keith month that happens to coincide with October, which is commonly known as spooky season. So Keith, tell the people what it is you have bestowed upon us.

I went with the easiest idea possible of the many convoluted things that I could have come up with and just said, hey, what is a movie that you watched when you were young younger that kind of scared the bejesus out of you and that you hadn't watched since and you wanted to rewatch to see if it still scared

you. Yeah,

I do believe, I do believe based on the time of this recording we posted the first one, I think Derek, you called it, Are We Cowards?

Are We Still Cowards?

Are We Still Cowards? Yes.

Yes. That's the month I lovingly dubbed it. Are We Still Cowards Month?

Because undoubtedly we were cowards.

And children, most children, like I would say 99.99% of children are cowards.

Yeah, I think that's a fair assessment.

Yeah, and then you get the occasional one where it's like, oh yeah, that kid lifted the car off its mom and stuff like that, right?

The heart of a lion.

That was me.

Oh, Keith was that. Yeah, our resident non-cow.

He just lived in cars. The rest of us cried in terror

watching Arachnophobia with eyes wide open.

Keith, you had dub one because it was your month. What'd you start us off with?

Well, Terry just spoiled the reveal there, but arachnophobia.

Arachnophobia. Arachnophobia. Oh, that means this is dub 2, a Terry dub. Terry, what scared you shitless when you were a kid?

Well, it was a hard pick because I've rewatched a lot of stuff from back then, so I was just racking my brain and I was like, what haven't I revisited? And it was The Exorcism of Emily Rose from 2005.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose from 2005. This movie, not since we just said that, is 21 years old. Isn't that wild? Drink.

You want to get a drink?

It can drink. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is getting drunk right now.

Which I think like she's like a freshman in college or something. She probably couldn't even gone out for drinks.

She couldn't have drank when she went to college, but The Exorcism of Emily Rose can drink and it is.

Yeah, well, the demon inside is old enough, so as long as she switched—

The demon in a bottle.

Oh

yeah.

Oh no. Yeah, don't look for that guy.

Well, now before we talk about our viewing of the now legal to drink The Exorcism of Emily Rose from 2005, before we do a deep dive into the now legally to drink The Exorcism of Emily Rose from 2005, Did any of us have any previous knowledge, history, and/or experience of that legal-to-drink Emily Rose?

Uh,

I did. I watched it as a kid. Um,

yep,

it scared me, and I haven't watched it since. I did not remember a lot of this movie. There was only one scene I really remembered. And then I feel like, um, that like kind of— what would I say— management expectations going in again. And this movie was a lot different than I remembered.

What about you, Keith?

I watched this in my youth, of my 30s.

Youthful 30? 30's the new teen.

Yeah, exactly. Is it?

No.

Sure.

Hey, fellow kids.

There are 30-year-olds that'll try to tell you that to convince you that their improprieties are proper, but it's not true.

I mean, most people think I have the maturity level of a child. So probably had it at 30 as well. Uh, you know, I, I'm running into this problem lately where I don't know if I'm just watching way too many movies in my life. I kind of thought I had watched this movie once before, but I don't remember any of it.

Uh-huh. That's possible.

I think I— the reason I thought that I watched it, because I was on the Netflix 3 DVD per week, or like 3 DVD at a time, not per week, but— and I would get them and it was— I, I could turn them in to Netflix, like into the mail on Monday. They would bring me 3 more movies by Thursday, and then Friday, Saturday, Sunday, They would watch.

We determined you're the Solomon Grundy of Netflix.

Yeah. Yeah. So, um, we have

determined

that. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I guarantee I probably watched this during that time.

But you don't remember any of

it? No, but I like, I just watched Friday the 13th the other day and swear I've watched that like before in my life and I did not remember anything from that either. So, uh, but I was at least familiar with, uh, the movie. I, I knew the name of it once Terry said what it was.

Yeah, I think I'm in the same boat as far as recognizing the name. I know I'd never seen it, but I have a vague memory of it when it came out, maybe, or like the name. Actually, Terry, when you mentioned it last week, I thought it was The Autopsy of Jane Doe in my brain. And that had been popping up quite a bit in my social media feeds, people watching it. Yes. Like, I was like, okay. Um, and so I was excited. And then I realized it wasn't that, so I watched the, uh, Autopsy of Jane Doe this last week and really enjoyed it.

That's a good one. Yeah, that's really good. That's a lot older though, or a lot newer. A lot newer.

Yeah, like 2019 or '16, maybe 2016, like 11. It's definitely not old enough to drink.

No, no, don't let that thing in the back of your car unless it's

French, unless they're in France

or Wisconsin and you're with your Your parents.

Yeah, they can go to the bar, but you shouldn't let a 10-year-old drink. You just shouldn't.

Well, you know,

parents, hear me now, believe me later.

This is a public message. Believe me. Yeah, this is just not a good idea, parents. If you're listening right now, I know you're looking at that bottle of whiskey, you're looking at your 10-year-old.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Ah, all right. So what we should do though Keith, you and I, we need to relax because Terry is going to take us dangerously close to the legally— of legal age to drink The Exorcism: Emily Rose from 2005 than we could have ever dared dream in another patent-pending Fumbler's Deep Dive.

That's right, order in court. Uh, my, um, Whatever you call it, my first move is in session.

Your first move?

Yep, it's my first move. My big state— my opening statement is coming. Okay, um, here's the IMDb synopsis: a lawyer takes on a negligent homicide case involving a priest who performed an exorcism on a young girl. It's pretty accurate.

On point.

I object.

Well, what exactly, Keith? What exactly?

What could you object about? That is 100% the movie.

Object again.

Well, all right, I guess.

Overruled.

Oh.

Continue, counselor.

All right, thank you. Thank you, Judge. So this was directed by Scott Derrickson.

Hold on, hold on. Before you go on, Terry, what day did this movie come out?

Permission to approach the bench?

Yes. No, stay— keep him away from the bench.

This is, this is pertinent information and evidence to the age of this movie.

No, September 9th, 2005.

This movie came out on my birthday and I didn't go see it.

Oh, Derek.

Anyway, I saw that earlier and I was like, oh, happy birthday to me.

Well, happy birthday to you.

Yeah, now we'll always be linked, me and The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Congratulations. So yeah, this was directed by Scott Derrickson, primarily like a horror director, but he has dabbled out of that, uh, every once in a while. His first feature-length film Was in an iconic horror franchise. He directed Hellraiser Inferno.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, it's the fifth movie.

That's what those gonna be. Max question is what number of Hellraiser is that?

That's five out of ten. So he's about middle. I guess unless you count the remake. There's eleven if you count the remake. But people sometimes say that this is one of the more decent sequels.

Sometimes they say that.

Yeah, I've heard this. I don't say that. I mean, I think after one and two, you just don't watch anything else because they're all bad. Besides the remake's decent, they all blend together. They all have a very similar plot line. This one is about a detective who's hunting down a killer, and then of course Pinhead and his gang of rambunctious creatures are thrown in there. It's every plot for like five, six, and seven. I feel like they're all like that. Some detective solving a crime, and Pinhead's there. At the end of the movie, for some reason, a lot of these movies are scripts that were written not supposed to be Hellraiser movies, but they wanted to keep the rights to Hellraiser, so they throw Hellraiser people into the movie. And then that's why all the movies are crappy is because it's like these weird combos of things.

So the only thing linking like this movie together is the fact that like just they throw Pinhead in to like show up like oh he's been like pulling the strings the whole time.

Yeah, or like yeah, like oh. The killer has like a weird box in his apartment, and it's the you know the little main configuration, and then they open it at the end or something, and here comes Pinhead.

Isn't that what they did with the last two Cloverfield movies?

The Cloverfield Paradox. Is that the one you're talking about?

Yeah, the one in space, and then Cloverfield Ten Cloverfield Lane or whatever, right? They don't really have anything to do with Cloverfield at all. They just

no, they're like anthology kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah. That's kind of what this is, and like that's not a bad way to go because they're not really connected storyline-wise either besides. Pinhead showing up, you know, like it's not like the same characters. There's one that has— I don't want— I don't need to be getting into the lore of all this stuff. There's a couple who have throwbacks to the originals, but it's not worth watching most of those. First 2 are really good though. You should watch the first 2. He did, uh, direct the Day the Earth Stood Still remake. We covered the original recently.

The Keanu Reeves one?

Yeah. Yep, he did that. He also directed Sinister, which is, uh, probably my favorite film he's done. Uh, it's about a true crime writer. He moves to a new town and he stumbles upon some mysterious, uh, reels of film depicting horrific murders.

Oh, like snuff films, huh?

Yeah, exactly like that. Yeah, the, the films in that movie are so creepy. And of course, as he investigates, things take a, uh, sinister turn, you might say. It's actually another one of those movies I watched pretty early on when I was a kid. This would have been a good pick, but I have rewatched it. So I already know I still like it. He also directed the first Doctor Strange movie.

Oh yeah.

Um, and then he did Black Phone 1 and Black Phone 2.

Oh

no. All right,

those are supposed to be pretty good, right?

Black Phone 1 was good. I've not seen the second one.

I've seen the second one. Uh, it's okay.

And those are Joe Hill—

Yes.

Stories, right?

It's based off a Joe Hill short story, I think.

Yeah, I, I enjoyed both of those. The first one's— I— the first one's obviously better than the second one.

Yeah, obviously. Yeah, to present your evidence, Keith.

I just did. That was it.

Oh, well, Keith's word is law, I guess. That's true. All right.

That's my evidence. It can't be disputed.

Agreed. I can't argue with that. I'm gonna try that. Hmm. This was also written by Paul Harris Boardman and Scott Erickson, but we already talked about Scott, so we're gonna talk about Paul.

Let's talk about Paul.

Yeah, we should talk about everybody. Let's talk about Paul. Bring Paul to the stand. He's being awfully quiet. I'll talk for him. He doesn't really have a lot of credits, Paul, and most are actually related to Scott Dirksen stuff. So I think they're kind of buddies in a way, maybe. He also has a writing credit on Hellraiser Inferno, for better or for worse. He wrote Deliver Us from Evil, which was also directed by Scott Dirksen. The premise is basically like cops versus possessed people, I think. Like, the possessions are spreading throughout the town, so every— like, people— it's kind of like a zombie apocalypse with possessed people. And then, uh, the police team up with a priest to try and like stop it. Um,

okay,

seemed interesting. I remember the trailer coming out for that, but I have never watched that. He's also got a writing credit and producing credit for the show Archive 81, which is, uh, based off one of my favorite podcasts of all time. Called Archive 81. Uh, the show is a bit different than the podcast, but honestly, I thought it was still pretty good. Uh, Netflix canceled it after the first season. So

yeah. I, I remember watching, uh, watching that because I also enjoyed the podcast.

Yeah, podcast is amazing. Uh, first season's good, but it kind of gets way, way better as it goes on. Um, it's like a cosmic horror kind of thing. It's pretty cool. Um, the show has been on hiatus for like many years. Um, I don't think it's coming back, but I can cross my fingers and hope because every once in a while on my feed, like I get like a popup from them. I'm like, ooh. And I look and it's just like a trailer for some other thing that they worked on. I'm like, I don't, I don't want that in my Archive 81. The movie has a few stars. There's Laura Linney, Linney, Laura Linney as Erin Bruner, the lawyer who takes on the case defending the priest. Mm-hmm. Which she's been in a lot. She played a schoolteacher in Searching for Bobby Fischer. She was in The Truman Show, The Mothman Prophecies, Mystic River, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. Perhaps most exciting of all is she was in a Michael Crichton book adaptation. Uh, it's about some scientists who go in the jungle and they're under attack by a mysterious gray ape. It's Congo!

Are you shitting me?

Oh yeah, there we go. Congo's been mentioned twice.

We get double Congo reference. Oh my God.

Infamously, Derek hates this for some reason.

I hate Congo.

I've never seen it. The poster had me confused because it's like a bunch of like code and stuff and then Congo's face. And I was like watching the movie, I'm like, I don't know how this correlates, but maybe we need to watch it and find out.

No, we don't. You do not want that.

They've released a good 4K of Congo recently.

No, it was released in 4K. It is not a good 4K.

It may look like quality-wise good, fantastic,

but is not good.

Only time will tell.

Well, I can't wait to veto the shit out of that.

Man, I, yeah, I, I still remember you like, because I think I saw that with you, uh, one of our other friends. And, and I remember you being like very upset that the other person actually liked it.

It's not that he liked it, he tolerated it. And the, his reasoning was, I just like going to the movies.

Yep. Yeah, that's not good enough.

That's not a good reason for liking a big heaping pile of trash. I just like trash.

No, I just had a good time. Yeah,

I

just like to go to the dump. All right,

yeah, exactly. You can't do it, it's so bad.

She was also in Sully.

Okay.

I watched this a few months ago. You know, it's based off the true story of Sully himself. Uh, he's a pilot for a passenger plane. Plane goes down, he diverts, lands in the New York River, saves the day. But he has to deal with the aftermath. He's interrogated about his decision. Was it too risky to be landing in the river? All the stuff. Is it the right choice? It's actually a decent movie. I think it was directed by Clint Eastwood. And there's a song based off of Sully that he did, the crash landing. It's called A Real Hero by College and Electric Youth. They did a collab on it. I had no idea that song was about him until I watched the movie, and then it showed up on my shuffle and I was like, wait a second, what? They're talking about Sully? And yeah, true enough, they were. The song's famously featured in

Drive. Yeah,

it's famously featured in Drive, which is a great film,

which is a movie that Keith does not like.

Okay, I hate that movie.

Come on.

It's probably— that's probably a good one sometime to do for this show because I don't— maybe I was just in a bad state of mind that day. I don't know, but I

had to be.

I mean, it's my— it's my second wedding anniversary. I should have been in a good mood for it, and then we saw that. It's just—

wow, what a downer. Drive.

Yeah, both of us, me and my wife, both hated it.

We should have been in South Congo instead.

And that movie is constantly brought up anytime that I'm like, hey, this movie I've heard is supposed to be pretty good. She goes, you know what else you heard was supposed to be pretty good?

This podcast.

Well, yes, this podcast, but also Drive. It's constantly referenced as a challenge anytime I try to recommend something to my wife.

It's looming over your head.

Very, very much so. It is the one thing she always holds above me.

Maybe you need to rewatch it again. Maybe it'll change your tune. I bet you're right, it was a good movie. Tom Wickleston stars as Father Moore. He is the priest on trial in the film.

Yeah.

So he's been in a bunch of stuff, including one we covered, The Full Monty.

Mm-hmm.

He was in The Grand Budapest Hotel, which is a great, great film. I like that film a lot. He was in Sleeping Dogs, the video game. He voiced the character Pendrew. I love that game. That's a game I beat like 4 or 5 times. It's amazing. It's like a martial arts Hong Kong action movie as a game, basically. You're like an undercover cop and infiltrating a gang. And he just like punch and kick people and occasionally shoot them. It's pretty cool. Um, he was in the Seth Rogen vehicle, The Green Hornet.

Mm-hmm.

He's like the bad guy or something, I think, isn't he?

I think he plays a villain in that. Um, he was Carmine Falcone in Batman Begins.

Your father died begging like a dog.

Like a dog.

My favorite part of that whole movie. That and Alfred going Never.

Never.

We've talked about this repeatedly, and I'll talk about it till I'm blue in the face. I love it.

I mean, they're both great moments.

They're iconic moments

in cinema. Top 100 moments in cinema, number 10. Never.

Begging like dags. That might be number 1, actually. Just the way he says dog.

Just don't even have the first part. Just have him go, dags.

Dad's

number one moment in cinema history. He was in Rush Hour, he was in Piccadilly Gym, and of course, uh, he was in The Night of the White Pants.

The Night of the White Pants?

The Night of the White Pants. It's a comedy where a dad played by Tom Wilkinson has to meet his daughter's boyfriend. Of course they butt heads, they don't like each other. Dad, he's going through a divorce. The boyfriend is a drug dealer, I think, or something. But somehow, some way, they end up having to go out on the town together and they end up bonding. The dad falls in love with some, like, much younger woman for some reason. He might end up marrying her that night. The boyfriend is there too. All I know is the taglines: don't judge a man until you've spent a night in his pants.

Okay.

And it'll entertain the pants off you.

Both are bangers.

Yeah,

I mean, if you can entertain the pants off them, then you can put the pants on yourself and there you go.

Yeah, I kind of wish one now was like, get in his pants.

There should be one. That should be the hidden third one.

Was Knight spelled with a K or N? Just—

it's an N.

Ah, dang.

I wish it was a K though.

I know,

much better movie if it was. Um, yeah, seems like it was, uh, it existed. I don't know if it was good. Uh, probably not. I haven't heard of it until now. So lastly, we'll talk about Jennifer Carpenter. She played the titular Emily Rose.

Hmm.

So I didn't know her when I first saw this, but I recognized her immediately upon watching it this time. For me, her biggest role is in the show Dexter. Oh,

okay.

She plays Dexter's sister, and I had like a big binge of that show back in the day. Really liked it until the last couple seasons. And, um, I think there's been a couple revamps since then. I've not watched those, but I've actually heard they're pretty decent too.

I did not finish the original series. I stopped at the end of the season where like, like it's a big cliffhanger involving her. I didn't want to spoil it.

Never seen a second of it.

Yeah.

It's really good until a couple— there's like the last 2 seasons are kind of a slog, but it's really good up to a point. Really, really good. Um, he's a serial killer, uh, who is raised to target, um, his serial killer tendencies against other serial killers. So he's a serial killer of serial killers.

Hmm.

He was raised by this police guy, trains him how to do these crimes perfectly, um, and he works for the police as a crime scene analyst. But of course, things start to unravel as the show progresses. People start to get wind of this mysterious serial killer killer. Very mysterious. Um, so she was in some found— she was in that found footage film Quarantine, which is the American remake of REC. It's about a zombie apartment, or it's not about a zombie apartment. I guess it is at the end, kind of a zombie apartment, but a zombie outbreak that takes place in an apartment. Um, would have been a good pick for me as well because I remember watching that as a kid, but I haven't rewatched it since. I have watched, uh, Rec since then, and that's pretty good too. She was in the movies Brawl and Cell Block 99 and Dragged Across Concrete, both movies directed by S. Craig Zahler. Sometimes he's controversial, sometimes he's not. I don't really know. I don't try to keep up with that too much. But I actually like both those movies. Brawl in Cell Block 99 is about a former boxer who turns to crime for money reasons, and he ends up in prison and has to brawl people.

Vince Vaughn?

Yep, Vince Vaughn is in it. He, he, uh, tears a car apart with his bare hands at one point in the movie. Hmm. Yeah, so that's kind of interesting. Uh, Drag Crash Concrete, it's about suspended cops who decide to resort to crime to get what they believe they are owed. So it's decent too. Very slow burn, that movie. Very slow burn, but I thought it was all right. Uh, her role though in Dragged Across Concrete is kind of ridiculous and pretty edgy and probably not needed, but yeah, what can you do? Good for her for getting some work, I guess. Probably shouldn't have been in the movie, but that's okay. So fun facts, I got a few, just a few. After seeing Jennifer Carpenter's audition, Scott Derrickson was so horrified he cast her right there on the spot.

Wow.

For the, the intro of the movie, this is based off a true story, um, though it actually happened in Germany, and the priests were convicted of manslaughter. In real life, the woman died, um, but she was still on her medication until her death, and she fasted on purpose for the preparation of the exorcism, while Miss Emily did not eat because the demon would not let her. So there's some differences there.

Um, oh yeah, creative license.

Mm-hmm. The, the, the trivia said like there were a lot of creative liberties taken. I was like, yeah, I believe that. The scene of Emily first being possessed takes place in the University of Minnesota. And ever since this movie came out, there's been this like persistent urban legend at the university from the students that that hall that she was in is haunted because of the possession that happened. But of course, this real life events did not take place in Minnesota. Yeah, they took place in Germany. According to the trivia, it's not true. It's not haunted, so just so you know.

I'm glad that the trivia cleared that up.

Yeah, thank God. I was never gonna go to the University of Minnesota.

No, not that particular hall either.

But now maybe next weekend I'll take a visit. Who knows?

Yeah, I'm gonna sleep on the floor.

I'm just gonna go walk into that building and have a great old time.

Mm-hmm.

Don't mind me, just here to—

yeah,

it's not haunted, everybody. I can, I can be here.

I'm allowed to be here. It's not haunted.

Why is this old man in a room?

He's just laying down in the hallway. I'm allowed to be here.

Peacefully, like the room isn't even hot, like the floor isn't even haunted.

I have to see— you have to go there, be an example to all the students. Like, look, this guy— if this guy can do it, we can do it. They'll all start sleeping in the hallway with me.

That door won't open and close on its own. It's not haunted.

Look, nobody's pencils are shaking in a cup.

It's not haunted.

I think that's what we need. We need like Mythbusters to get down there and prove it.

Case closed. Well, the defense can't rest because we— goddamn it, Terry, you got so close, but we still, we still need to talk about our viewing of The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Gotta redirect.

We have to tell her story.

It's the only way to get this done.

Yes.

Yep. That's what's most important.

We, we want to jump right to what— tell you what our review of it was, like our, our rating, and, and find out what those folks, uh, on the internet thought of it. But no, no, we,

we gotta get— we gotta give it— do it.

The losses we gotta do with this.

That's right. That's right. It's really important that we tell our story about how we experienced her story.

It's the only way That the demon will stop.

It's true, we have to expose it to the world.

Yeah. All right, well, what do we think of— well, what— how was our viewing of The Exorcism of Emily Rose?

Uh, it's a lot different than I remembered. Um, so in my memory, the scene I remembered was her in her room eating all those bugs.

Yeah, that's— that was pretty horrifying. A bunch of bunch of spiders.

That disgusted me as a kid, and I think that's like what stood out, and that's all I could remember. And then watching this, I'm like, oh, it's really mostly in the courtroom. Like,

uh-huh,

it's

not— this movie was like a Law and Order 2-parter is what it was. Yeah, maybe 3-parter.

Like, there's some horror elements, but it's really not a horror movie as much as I thought. Like, a little bit, but not really, you know?

Yeah, even the horror stuff was like It wasn't that great. We watched it on Tubi, Keith. It had some Tubi original qualities to this.

Whoa, come on.

Some of the horror elements, when she would look at people, they look like they were from Titanic 666.

True, but that's 2005. That was groundbreaking. Nowadays, Titanic 666 came out, what, like 2 years ago? Come on.

Yeah, but still.

Yeah, there— it's kind of lame sometimes. The faces stretching out with the creepy faces. It's kind of like—

which, yeah, that's only like— it's not like only like that one part near the beginning of the movie. That doesn't keep happening throughout the thing. You know, they go through some of like the, the typical stuff, like, you know, people seeing, you know, uh, you know, the cross turns upside down.

Yeah, that was straight from The Exorcist.

Yeah. Or like, you know, like the priest, he, you know, hears something, he walks downstairs and, you know, the stained glass windows bleeding and other stuff.

That was kind of cool. I like that.

But I mean, it's all like basically typical, like, oh, we're doing exorcism, here's, here's what is involved with it.

Yeah.

I actually like the fact that it's in the courtroom and, and they're doing this whole like court presentation, although they bring in that the one lady who's like, oh, she's an archaeologist, she looks at possession from like a scientific thing, and like she's only there for like 5 minutes at most, and then they, they move on. And like, I don't know, it kind of would've been a little bit more interesting to see her maybe have been involved a little bit more because of the fact that it, it just puts a different twist on the, like, the whole exorcism thing is over. It's,

mm-hmm,

we're, this guy's on trial for it. Also, I was kind of curious how, like, I mean, who officially was putting him on trial? 'Cause I, the family wasn't like suing him. Like,

well, it wasn't—

the cops were there to like—

yeah, it was a murder case. It

wasn't like the cop— but like, if the family— I guess I didn't really understand that. Like, the family's like, no, we did the exorcism. And like, why is the state pressing charges? Why is the priest one being like—

He was representing the people. He wasn't even representing her.

You know what, I, you know what, I, I do— now that I'm thinking of it a little further, I also— I— to go back to our experiences with this Previously to watching it now. I'm pretty sure I saw it because I knew that doctor, that doctor guy was going to get killed at some point. I remember, I remember him like getting hit by the car when he gets hit by the car. Oh,

that was too much.

Uh, I, I thought as far as like storytelling goes, it was like obvious that he was going to die.

Yeah, no, but I mean, I remember the scene of him getting hit.

Sure.

Yeah, I actually remembered that. Part as I was watching, I'm like, "Oh, something about to happen to him right now."

Yeah, I knew that too, and I never seen it though.

Mm-hmm. In the original script, he was supposed to die by a heart attack, which I think would have been better. But instead, he got hit by a car. Yeah, I didn't like that. He was too over the top.

Well, I think because they wanted to make sure they showed something happened to him on screen.

He could have died on the stand right there in the street. Yeah, because he clearly saw something.

Yes. I'm

assuming it is the hooded figure that the priest always saw as well.

Mm-hmm. Lucifer or Belial or whatever.

Yeah. Well, the fact that she was actually, well, the fact that her possession, the demon that possessed her claimed to be Lucifer. I mean, that's like, that's like the big guy right there, right?

That's a big claim.

Yeah, that's huge. It's not even like some like underling demon or something. It's fucking Lucifer. It was Legion. It's like, okay. All right,

really? We're messing with the big boys. Okay.

I mean, fucking around.

Wouldn't you want to like downplay, like, oh, I'm just, uh, Steve, I'm the lower level demon. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me, I'm cool.

What's your name? I have 6 names. Okay, what are they? All right, I go by Bob and Larry.

Oh, they call me the, the Carpenter King. Yeah, they call me the King of Men.

Some days I'm George. I'm just a demon.

I'm Maurice.

Woo woo!

Pompous with love. What? You're a demon. I still am.

I'm a smoker and a joker and a midnight toker.

Demon's pretty clever. I kind of like this guy.

But no, he goes, he goes big guns, like straight ahead. I'm Lucifer. Oh, nice. And then he doesn't do anything very Lucifer-y, if you ask my opinion.

I think he lied. I think he's somebody else.

Like, why would you claim— Got loose, but I mean, the horse is just spooked. Okay.

Yeah, he did smack somebody in the face at one point.

And scratched up the wall and ate some bugs. It didn't even float or anything.

Yeah, which could play into the ambiguity, but it doesn't feel like the film wants to make it ambiguous. To me, it feels like the film is on the priest's side the whole time.

Yeah, but it doesn't even like lean into it in any way.

No, it doesn't go like far enough. Yeah.

Yeah, because, because the flashback clips of like the stuff happening to her, they're, they're very short. And so they never, like, we never get to see fully like, you know, what this demon is actually doing to her.

Yeah,

it's just they show us a picture of what she looked like at the end.

I wish it was more of a mystery. I wish if they were gonna go full courtroom, like, I wish I didn't know who, what was right and what was wrong. To me, the movie's like the priest did what he was supposed to do. That's what it feels like the film is taking this. Yeah. And I wish it was more like, well, it's up to you what you think, you know? Like, I think that'd make a more interesting movie, like with the what is real, what's not kind of thing.

Yeah. And in that regard, I wish like the lawyer did some investigative work, right? Like went and dug up some dirt or like maybe even literal dirt. I don't know.

Dug her up.

Did something. Other than have things handed to her and then present them in court.

Yeah, she gets haunted sometimes, but it's nothing crazy. I wish, I really wish, I wish she would have gotten more scared. Like, I wish it had affected her more personally because it feels like she just gets woken up at 3 AM every day and that's about it.

Yeah, it's like my wife wakes up every day at 3 AM and just sits there on her phone and it has nothing to do with the demons that I—

Are you sure? Which are you sure? Have you checked?

Yeah, I mean, I could be the demon for all I know.

Wouldn't make a lot of sense now that I think about it.

I mean, even if you're, you know, we're taking creative liberties with it anyhow, I get it that it's based on the main part of it's based on a true story, but yeah, she could have like been haunted more by it. They may, they start to lean like, who's turning on the tape recorder in her house?

Yeah,

that's probably my biggest issue with this is, you know, we get to the court thing and The judge is letting everything go. Like, she just mysteriously brings a recorder and a tape in. Like, it could have been made by anybody.

Mm-hmm.

He's gonna read a letter that he claims is by her. They did anybody? Did they bring in a thousand dollars? Did they bring in a handwriting analyst at all for us to to like confirm? They don't even mention like oh we already had this confirmed. It is her handwriting. They just have.

I bet it was already confirmed.

Yeah. We're already an hour and 45 minutes into the movie at this point. I didn't

need—

yeah, I didn't need any more deep dives into the legalities.

I mean, the, the real highlight is, I mean, the girl playing it, I can see why the guy hired her after seeing her audition. Creepy as hell when she's acting like she's possessed. I mean, she does a really good job with it.

Yeah, she's pretty intense. It's not bad. I do like this angle that they take because it's not, you know, because what they do with the possession stuff is pretty typical, but that's not really the focus of the movie, I guess. It's more about like the, the courtroom stuff, which is a cool way to— it's almost like the what happens after an exorcism kind of thing. It's like, oh yeah, I guess, you know, if it fails, you got to figure out how to deal with this. You know, someone died, so someone needs to probably be investigated for this. It's very interesting, but I don't know if it's like it completely nails that concept. Like, it's like I said, I wish it was more indifferent or something, you know, like kind of like a Oh, what's that famous courtroom movie that everybody loves? The Angry Men. 12 Angry

Men. Yeah,

something like that would be kind of cool. It could be like a cool jury thing where all the jury is like arguing about this. That would be kind of interesting.

Yeah, I really disliked her closing arguments because it was essentially the Chewbacca defense from South Park.

The Chewbacca defense?

Yeah, Chewbacca is a Wookiee. On Endor, but he's not from Endor. It doesn't make sense. If it doesn't make sense that Chewbacca's a Wookiee from Endor, you must acquit. That's kind of what it was. It was like nonsensical whatever, right? It was just—

You're basically like, if there's any doubt, it couldn't be, you know?

Yeah. This could be like— could be closing argument for any trial that she has. Like, did this guy commit the murder? I can't tell you exactly, but it's possible.

It's like, but can you prove it exactly? You know,

did he have taco salad for lunch? I don't know, but it's possible.

Anything's possible.

That is her argument. Yeah, anything's possible. So maybe

she's just like, I just need to have a small sliver of doubt in somebody's mind here that anything's possible.

Yeah, but that's like the That's— if a juror has to have the sense of reasonable doubt, but it's the— I mean, there's just— it's terrible. It's terrible courtrooming. It's just like— and for like, even from dramatic perspective, she has no argument, right? Like, it's like—

There's no scientific fact being stated. There's nothing.

It's like, Is it scientifically provable? No. Could it be real? Maybe. They're like, sure, argument.

That's just yeah.

It's like uh uh. That's like an internet argument. You

could just use that same argument and be like, well, she was she crazy? Maybe. You know, like you could do the exact same thing. The other team could do that same argument.

Yeah. It's it's it's terrible. Was it? Yeah. I don't, I don't, you know, you know, people will get online and they'll be like, oh, that's, uh, whatever, just what a straw man. I don't know what the definitions of the argument types are, but what a straw man argument.

It is kind of though. Yeah, it's, uh, I agree. I wish, you know, I think this— I'm having, you know, the other ideas, like she's getting haunted by this stuff. Wouldn't it be kind of cool if she starts getting possessed or something? starts acting weird in the courtroom, then she goes crazy and becomes possessed, and everybody's like, what the heck's going on? Wouldn't that be like— I

kind of thought that's what they're gonna go with, like,

yeah,

either her or even like the priest was gonna have some kind of

like

thing where, you know, he got possessed or something.

I want to see the demon get put on the stand.

Yeah, put that demon on. Now that is a movie I'd watch.

Yes. All right, now let me bring in Lucifer. And she starts speaking.

Please give us your 6 names for the record.

The stenographer is trying to type it all down.

Yeah, she doesn't have all the keys on the keyboard for all the different names. They're in so many weird languages and multiple tongues.

Because I mean, you brought Lucifer on the stand, there'd be a lot of questions you could ask that guy.

Yeah, like even, even the prosecutor would start like getting—

Can I get in on this? Yeah, I'm like, yeah, go ahead, ask him whatever you want. All right, I mean, the judge would probably be like, all right, I got some questions now. They'd all probably want to ask him something.

I'll allow it.

Everyone in the courtroom gets up in the line. All

right, and he can't, he can't do it. He's, he's sworn under oath and he won't lie. He's dismissed.

He keeps pleading the Fifth.

Goddamn it. He can't lie, so, you know, yeah, he's under oath. The

devil is historically a truth teller.

Well, in the courtroom, in the courtroom, he has to be. He's legally obligated to tell the truth.

So it's true.

Yeah, I would trust him.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste. Is that the Rolling Stone lyrics?

I know you're singing some devil song.

Yeah, it, uh, it's, um, simply from—

Running with the Devil?

Sympathy for the Devil, but he says something along those same lines.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste.

That's what he said.

Yeah, for a long time, long years, stole many a man's soul and faith.

Yeah, there's something else similar to some— I don't know, that would work in the courtroom. I don't know.

Maybe that's his intro music.

We can strike that from the record if you want.

Pleased to meet you. Hope you guessed my name. Lucifer.

We all know it. It's Lucifer. That would be fun to interrogate him, but yeah, he probably— he's too cowardly to come on stand. That would be the biggest reveal though. That would be— I think they would— I wish they would have done something more supernatural in the courtroom. Just go crazy with it. This already isn't based on fact, you know, it's not trying to be that realistic to the real story, quote unquote. Like, just go crazy with it, make your own thing with it.

I wish they would have done anything. I didn't find much in this movie very interesting. It was like, just do something, Jesus.

What about the, um, you didn't like the possession stuff, or is it too generic?

I— possession is my favorite horror trope. I love possession, going back to The Exorcist, and just found this to be pretty bland. I don't know, I wanted more, and even the possession wasn't convincing. Like, there's nothing really going on other than she ate some bugs and scratched some walls and Spoken tongues, but I mean honestly, the prosecutor made a very convincing case that she already knew some of those languages.

I was on the prosecutor's side most of the time.

Yes, the whole movie. I was like, "Well, this guy's right."

He's right. Like, this isn't that crazy, guys. Like, well, if you saw a man eating bugs on the street, would you assume he's possessed? No. Well,

he does come. He does come up with like some really great stuff. Like, did you know she took like 20 languages.

And yeah, how do you not know these things?

It actually kind of reminds me of Sully, which I mentioned earlier, because in Sully it's about like him going to basically trial because of what he did. And like everyone is like, uh, like the guy like that's the prosecutor, quote unquote prosecuting, asking all these questions, like is made out to be the villain. But like in real life, they— this is what happens, you know. You go into a crash, you get asked these questions no matter what. He's just doing his job. Like, whether Sully was right or wrong, like, and everybody pretty much agrees, yeah, you saved everybody's life, you did a good job. But like, in the movie, they make this guy out to be a villain. And like, I saw the interview, and he's like, yeah, the movie was pretty good, but they really screwed me with that. I was like, yeah, that kind of reminds me of this, where it's like, this guy is making all the right points, but the movie is making him the villain because They want you to vote for the faith. Yeah,

they want you on the side of the priest, which is fine. Like, that's a fine— if that's what the movie wants to do, cool. And they were acting like they weren't necessarily putting faith on trial, but they kind of were.

They were. Yeah, I think so.

And then the closing arguments are like, just because it's not real doesn't mean it's not possible. That's fucking exactly what not real means.

See, there's so many options if you made a courtroom possession thing. Like, what if there was like supernatural quote-unquote proof that they're doing? Like, all right, we'll see what happens to holy water when you splash it on this person. They start like burning. You know, there would be so many cool things to like do in a movie like this where it's like, we do have proof, and they start showing these weird things and stuff.

Yeah.

And also, I mean, the, the prosecutor's Thomas, so he's the doubting Thomas. The whole time.

Pardon me?

What do you—

you kind of mumbled there at the end.

He's the Doubting Thomas.

What's that? In the Bible, there is one of

the, uh, one of the apostles,

Thomas, does not believe that Jesus has been resurrected until he actually sees the wounds on his—

Oh,

so I kind of thought— so also, I kind of thought at some point the prosecutor was going to come around because he was gonna have to prove it. He's doubting it the whole time, you know. He's

He's a religious man.

And they even— so they even brought the stigmata thing too, but that was just like, that was never brought up prior. Oh yeah, that was weird. It's like, oh, she had holes in her hands and her wrists, or wrists and her feet, just like Christ.

It's barbed wire. It's the barbed wire that she grabbed. Well, then that doesn't explain the feet.

Must have been some shitty holes then. Like, why even bring it up, right? Like, if it's that much of a throwaway. This movie was 2 hours and 5 minutes. It did not need to be 2 hours and 5 minutes.

Yeah, if you throw it— if you throw in Tubi time, that's— Yeah,

it's like a 4-hour watch. Jesus Christ, Tubi and your commercials.

We all love them. We gotta love them.

I love the commercials, and the commercials are such garbage. It was like for—

oh my

God, some online, uh, slot machine thing. I was like, Who gives a fuck?

I get that, and I get political ads. Oh my God!

Yeah, get out of here, politics.

This is that was an interesting twist. Yeah, that's an interesting twist that like she like has like that moment of lucidity with like an angel or something. They're like, well, you can decide if you want to stay on Earth or and suffer, or you can come with us.

Yeah, the possession is going to happen either way. Do you want to be there physically for it, or do you want to be? No. clock out.

Just let me out. Let me out. And it should still affect everything the same whether I'm there or not. So just let me out.

It was— that was weird, right? Like, so the Virgin Mother Mary of God comes to her, but we don't even see that part. We just see her like, uh, it's like her

letter.

Her— yeah, but like she like disembodied soul in a dream or whatever talking to somebody off screen, which sucks. And, and

what if it was a biblically accurate angel?

I wish it would have been, but she was given the option to either be remembered as some great whatever about spirituality and the afterlife if she leave now, just die now and come with me to heaven, or you can go back and do whatever the fuck it is you're doing, which sucks.

Nothing.

Yeah, just wasting away in a bed. Um, She chooses the bed.

Yeah, I'm gonna go. Like, maybe that would explain it though. She saw a biblically accurate angel and was like, uh, yeah, I don't know, I think I'm good.

I don't want to do this.

This is the part where she stops believing. I know, no, no, no, this ain't real.

No. Yeah,

I'm obviously hallucinating at this point.

Yeah, and, and all it is is just her letter recounting a dream. Like, how is that even admissible in court?

Yeah, that's that was so weird. Like, okay.

So a dead person's dream written into a letter is

the

seen as evidence.

I mean, Laura Linney's character could have even been like at some point in time, like should have been like I was told not to bring him back on my stand or I get fired. I still did it because I believe.

What was he gonna do?

Like I mean, but like that could have been like another one of her points. It was like look, I anything's possible. Like I. Probably lost my job, but I believe in Father Moore. Maybe I will everything that he's the whole thing, but I believe in him as you know being a person who tried to do the right thing.

I don't know. I didn't care much for yeah, whatever. Did we do it, boys? Did we get through?

I think so.

The exorcism of Emily Rose because it really was just a two-hour court procedural.

Yep.

What'd we think of our viewing of The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Carrie, you still a goddamn coward?

It was not that scary this time. Uh, the, the bug eating thing was the part where I was like, oh, that's the scene. And then I was like, huh, that's not that bad. Um, and then the whole movie was basically like, yeah, flipped on its head. I did not remember all this courtroom stuff. I really just remembered the bug eating. I thought there's a lot more creepy exorcism things. There really isn't. It's a lot. It is kind of generic, but I think the courtroom stuff is semi-interesting. I don't think they approach it quite right with the. I wish it was more ambiguous. I don't. I think the movie takes a side, even if I was reading the trivia and they're acting like it's Rashomon or something. I'm like, no, no, it's not really like that. That would be much more interesting to do, and there's a lot of potential you could do if they weren't like. Feeling like they had to follow the quote unquote true story, even though they don't really do that that much. It's just it's an okay movie. It's not as scary as I remember at all, but it's not bad. I don't think. I think it's just kind of a little generic.

Yeah, I didn't mind it. Am I gonna watch it again? Probably not. But you know, I didn't mind it either. That thirty-year-old Keith seems probably have thought the same thing, and if Terry hadn't brought it up, probably never would watch it again in my life anyway.

I thought it was mid at best. Just, I did not— I wanted— I, I wouldn't, because I really enjoy possession and exorcism. I'm not a religious person, but I really like religious horror. And, um, just, it whiffed, whiffed hardcore for me. And I really liked Law and Order back in the day, and it just felt like a Uh, Law and Order script that got passed over. I don't know.

Need, need the Jerry Orbach. That's what we needed.

Yeah, needed more Jerry Orbach. Agreed.

I think he's dead by the time that comes out though, maybe.

I don't

know. Well, maybe he's possessing her.

Yeah, maybe that's the spirit of Jerry Orbach.

Give me your 6 names. Well, Satan, Belial, Jerry Orbach, uh, Wait, who?

Yep, Jerry Orbach died on December 28th, 2004.

Wow, he missed it.

He missed it. He was only 69 years old.

Donated his eyes.

Yeah, you keep saying that. Who? To Keith?

No,

velvet container.

No, he donated his eyes to To somebody,

like,

yeah, for them to get their vision back or something like that. I do believe that's Jerry Orbach.

Yeah. Keith's got this little box, velvet-lined box. He opens it up and there's Jerry Orbach's eyes in there.

No, he donated. Somebody else got his eyes.

Yeah, somebody dug them out.

Yeah, somebody is somebody being you.

Yeah, he donated them.

No, like, like that they're actually like using them to still see.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I know you gotta look up to electrical wires. So this— that's—

he tapes them up to his hands and he does like that Pan's Labyrinth scene. He's got Jerry Orbach eyes on his hands.

He puts them on the, like, little sunglasses and they pop out with springs.

Uh, after passing away, uh, Orbach had famously— had famously 20/20 vision and long expressed his desire to donate his eyes So his vision could live on. His 2 corneas were given to 2— to the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration in New York City and transplanted into 2 separate recipients, one nearsighted, one farsighted, to restore their sight.

And Keith was one of those people,

I think. No, my eyes are shit.

Yeah, that's what— that's what you

want. What is this?

Got those Auerbach eyes.

Well, he had good eyes before, then he got one of the Auerbach eyes because he just wanted one. And just screwed everything up.

Oh, Keith. All right, well, we know—

What is this O'Keith thing? I mentioned an actual fact about something.

You're the one with the eyes. I have no control over what you do. You got his eyes and now look where we're at. We know what we thought of this movie. What did the internet have to say? Well, on January 3rd of 2006. Dario PC had this to say.

It's me, Dario.

Yeah, it's-a me, Dario PC. Very good movie you need to see more of one time.

Wow.

3 exclamation points.

Okay.

Excellent. It if more really. And oh Christ, why'd I choose it? I'm gonna I don't think Dario practices English as a language.

They, they liked it so much though, they still felt the need to write a review in English.

They're speaking in tongues.

Oh God, it's probably Lucifer writing this review.

All right, let me get— let me go to a different one here.

It's switching languages every 5 sentences.

Also, the fact that it said this movie is great to watch one time.

More than one of time.

Oh, more than one at a time. Sorry.

Okay. Well, on February 5th, 2006, Barbie800 had this to say. This is one terrific movie. When I saw the previews for this movie in the theater, I figured they showed all the good parts in the trailer. I heard from several people that it was a terrible movie. Boy, were they wrong. This is one terrific movie. I kept thinking it was going to be like The Exorcist, but it is not. I wouldn't even call this a horror movie, though there are some really scary parts. I really think this is more realistic than The Exorcist. The actress who plays Emily Rose pulls off one terrific performance, and she didn't even need Any makeup or green pea soup to do it. I'm positive she had makeup.

She had makeup on. Yeah, there's no question.

That is what makes this movie so good. If you like horror, The Exorcist, and courtroom drama, then you will love this movie. In the end, it really makes you think... What really happened to Emily Rose? One found that helpful. Two, not so much. Ten out of ten.

That Venn diagram of exorcist and courtroom drama fanatics and Law and Order fans.

But not to be outdone, on August 18th, 2016, Moonspinner55 had this to say. Validating demonic possession in a court of law. College freshman, a scholarship student living in the campus dorm, dies after being treated for epileptic-like seizures and violent self-inflicted behavior, not medically but spiritually, by a priest who believes she was possessed by a demon and who now stands trial for her death. An awful lot of very talented people worked on this baleful freak show, all to no avail. Written by Scott Derrickson, who also directed, and Paul Harris Boardman, the story is loosely based on an incident that occurred in Germany, but the usual horror movie clichés are intact. Colon. A door opening and closing in a storm. Scary shots of feet walking down corridors.

Wow.

To heighten suspense. Suspense. A pencil case moving by itself.

Classic.

Squeaky floors in every house. Emily Rose freaking out during a test in the classroom, complete with a stormy sky outside. The unfortunate girl eating spiders. Like Renfield in Dracula, as well as a defense lawyer who is 70 minutes late to court because a demonic force shut off her electricity. Embarrassingly silly and derivative stuff that an earlier generation would have roundly dismissed as garbage, yet audiences in 2005 went for it. No stars from Star Star Star Star. 28, hey, found that helpful. 39, not so much. 1 out of 10.

All right. Okay.

All right. Well, we did it. We got through dub 2 of Are We Still Cowards? No,

we

haven't been cowards yet.

Nope. I'm brave now. I'm so brave.

And now that means dub 3 falls on my shoulders. And we've, we've established that when I was a child, I was a goddamn coward. Goddamn coward.

You probably took full advantage of it too.

Yeah. Uh, I was taken to see Gremlins when I was a child and I bawled hysterically and was told to stand in the hallway while my father finished watching it. And that was up for possibility, but I rewatched that movie in 8th grade, uh, terrified that I was going to— because it was done at school.

Oh, they made you watch it at school?

Yeah, it was like end of year sort of thing. It's like, we're killing time, we're watching Gremlins. And I'm like, oh my God, I hadn't seen it since seeing it in theaters, and I was mortified that I was going to like just break down in class and I couldn't handle it. But it was fine. I watched it as a 13-year-old. I was like, oh, that's no big deal. Or a 12-year-old. Then the other option was Jaws, which we've talked about. My cousins tormenting me with watching Jaws at a very young age. But I recently watched Jaws, like in the last year. Finally, after 40 years later, watched Jaws. And I was like, oh, that's pretty good. That doesn't get my cousins off the hook because—

Oh.

I remember I was— had to be like 8, maybe 9, and my parents went on a vacation to Reno, Nevada. I remember that very distinctly. And I stayed with my aunt and uncle and my cousins. They had a LaserDisc player so that That falls into last month a little bit, and they made me watch Poltergeist.

Oh,

nice.

And I have never watched it since. I, I know it's probably a really good movie, but I, I was not ready for Poltergeist at that age. I had to stop watching. I went in the other room, at which they mocked me and called me various names.

Your aunt and uncle?

They may have, who knows. But Poltergeist is the movie that we will be watching next week.

Excellent choice. Excellent choice.

I haven't seen it since. I know, I think it's like rated PG. Um, that's even possible. Maybe was Poltergeist rated R when it came out? That's a deep dive.

I don't think so. We'll find out. Yeah,

but there's just There's a scene with a mirror and, uh, ripping his face off, and that's all I remember from that movie. That might have been where I tapped out.

Yeah, he's like, I want to take my face off.

Yeah, and then he runs his palm over his face, and that's how he knows it's the real him. All right, well, that's what we're doing.

Excellent choice.

Am I still a coward? Probably not. Nothing scares me now. But as a child, man, I was a goddamn coward.

Yep.

Of great humongous proportions.

Yep. Now you're like a rock. Nothing fazes you.

Nothing fazes me except for a good haunting or exorcism. And Poltergeist is haunting.

Exorcism

of Emily Rose was

It was not a good exorcism, apparently.

No, not for me at least. I wanted it to be gnarly, but it wasn't.

Nope.

All right. Well, I guess we're here at the end. We got nothing left to do.

Closing statements.

But to end this the way we end everything with closing statements.

That's the power of fear. I'm not afraid of you. Because you think you got nothing to lose. But you haven't thought it through. You haven't thought about your lady friend down in the DA's office. You haven't thought about your old butler. Bang! People from your world have so much to lose. Now you think because your mommy and your daddy got shot, you know about the ugly side of life. but you don't. You've never tasted desperate. You're, uh, you're Bruce Wayne, the Prince of Gotham. You'd have to go 1,000 miles to meet someone who didn't know your name. So don't, don't come down here with your anger trying to prove something to yourself. This is a world you never understand, and you always fear what you don't understand. All right. Yeah, you got spirit, kid, I'll give you that. More than your old man anyway. In the joint, Chill told me, uh, told me about the night he killed your parents. He said your father begged for mercy. Begged like a dog. Nice.

Thanks for listening to Fumbling Through Film. New episodes drop every Thursday. Got feedback or questions? Email us at [email protected]. You can see our films to fumble before you tumble into the grave and other musings on Letterboxd at Fumble Through Film. The through is T-H-R-U. You can also follow Keith on Instagram @kg3030lives and on Letterboxd @kg3030. Terry is on Letterboxd at Terry2099. Derek is on Letterboxd at Derek, the number 9, and then the word 9. All original music is done by the Dr. Dre of Kansas, Terry, so hit him up for them bangers. Our new podcast logo is done by the delightful and talented Sanjay Vicky Nayak. You can find her on Instagram @einkstein. That's Einstein with a K in there. We'll see you next week as we keep on fumbling.