Indie AF Wildcard: Relaxer (2018)

Gather together from the cosmic reaches of the universe. Here in this great screening room with comfortable recliners are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled. Keith.

Okay, sorry. Native American burial ground.

Terry.

No longer I have to pass this guy. I'm just tired. I gotta get home. So you, like, you do the illegal thing and you go to the bus lane and just pass and then all of a sudden your car gets launched into orbit.

Derek. I gotta eat. I'm hungry. But I also gotta finish this movie cause obligations and the power twins Zap and Jordan with their magical lemur snort dedic to fumbling their way through movies one forgotten gem at a time. This week we watch 2018's bleak dystopian future Past relaxer. This is fumbling through film you got

from your uncle, the Pac man tape gunslinger.

Boom.

Fucking Texas outlaw right here pulling pistols out.

Can I please have some?

You please may not have some because you ain't showing me no money. May I please have some money? What's that song? Money, money, money, money, money, money. Fucking karate kick right there.

You're shaking it all up.

Fucking MTV grinding shit. Come on, just put me on that shit. I'd be fucking all star, dog. Can you do that?

Shit? No.

Oh shit, he's put on his glasses. We got a fucking four eyed 3D dick wad over here. Oh, shit. I'm really scared now. I scared that he's never gonna show me the money. Show me the money. Show me the money. Stick your dick in, honey,

please

show me money. Show me the money.

Hello and welcome to another one of a kind Shadow defining brand new episode of Bumbling Through Film. It's the only show I dare guarantees. I dare guarantees, I dare to guarantee the only show that dares to guarantee to bring together the three dudes. I, I, there's got to be other shows. I guarantee we're gonna bring three guys.

Well, we don't even guarantee. Sometimes there's four.

That's true.

Oh. Oh my God, Terry. Dude.

No, we are the, we guaranteed we're the only show that dares to bring together three dudes to talk about change

to at least three dudes.

At least three dudes.

Oh, okay, there we go. There we go. Lawyers just whispered in Terry's ear.

They didn't whisper. This is that these aren't just any movies though. These are the ones we've missed, overlooked or feel are simply worth revisiting.

They're still unsure about that.

Which is any movie, to be honest.

It really is. Honestly though, it's not really that it is.

It is any movie.

Mine is what we're being real. It's kind of just like. There's a few movies that don't fall within any of those categories.

I. I don't believe it. Anyway, my name is Derek, and I'm a Fumbler. Joining me here in the Fumble Dome, we're all on just one single couch. We will not move from it.

Nope.

No matter what happens. Is the prime minister of fumbling and film, Keith.

Hey. Hey, what's up? It's kg, Fumbler extraordinaire. How's everybody doing?

Oh, house, everybody. I'm doing well.

That was. That was more for. I'm sorry. That was towards hard. The listener. I'm sorry.

Oh, what you call the listener.

Targeted towards the listener.

I. Oh, targeted.

Yeah.

Okay.

How's everybody doing out there?

Yeah. We all want a collective answer out loud.

Yeah. We'll. We'll sit. It's like Door of the Explorer. Do you see the backpack?

Where is it?

Do you see the microphone?

Yeah. How you doing, everybody? It's Keith. I'm not Keith. That was Keith who said that. I'm still Derek. The one that's still over There is the Dr. Drave Kansas. He's still Terry.

That's me. I'm Terry. I. My skin has grafted to the couch, so it's going to really hurt when I stand up. But I promise. I promise I'd sit here at least until the end of the recording.

So it is going to hurt.

Yeah. The challenge is live for at least two hours. I have to stay on this couch.

Great. Said the challenge is to be as efficient as possible.

That's a challenge I'm just going to quit on right now.

Yeah. Challenge unaccepted on that one. But you know what is accepted practice is this podcast.

That's true in many places.

I didn't give you guys a chance to answer, but read your mind. It's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

You put on your 3D glasses and you read our minds.

I did. This podcast is accepted practice, so we should tell people what it is we do here so they know we should. Every week, we watch movies, but not just any movie. Every month, one of us chooses a theme, a genre, a guiding light, some sort of ridiculous set of rules that we have to follow. Otherwise, we fail. That month's challenge.

True.

And this month was a me month. I laid down the gauntlet. I said you have to drink eight baby bottles of milk mixed with urine. Mixed with urine.

But it was a tough one. But we did it. We all did it.

We all did it. And we had to watch movies that were indie af. I mean like these. These things were not released by major studios. Major studio wouldn't touch these things with a ten foot pole.

No, not at all. No.

No way. I started with the recently released creature feature Big Bad Betty. Then Keith followed that up with hundreds of beavers. Hundreds of beavers that Terry followed that up with Ape. Ape. Then what we did was this week I didn't mention what we do on the fourth week. The fourth week we fumble. We fumble like crazy and we watch a movie that was given to us by a wheel. A random wheel spins and gives us a movie off of that. We each put a movie on there. Something that was tangentially related to the previous three movies. It was mentioned during a conversation and recording. Whatever. Right. Anyway, that wheel spun and it chose relaxer and then I vetoed and then it chose Madam Webb and then Keith vetoed and it gave us.

Relaxed her.

Relaxed her.

And I do believe there's also a spin again as well.

As well.

Never pills somehow.

Yeah.

My choice never got picked.

It's funny because when Terry vetoed the first time last time it got his movie on the veto that I vetoed and it gave me my movie. I was like, oh. Then Keith vetoed and then it gave him a spin again. Everything reset and went back to Terry's movie.

Yep, yep, yep. It said I quit on the challenge and forced me to start over.

So far the veto's been working out for me. I feel like I will say we've

got three months in a row without Derek choices.

That's not true.

Well, you want. Well, your one got vetoed.

No, we watched War of the Worlds.

Oh, right. That was your pick, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, my bad. But the majority of the months.

Welcome to the show.

So far.

It's mostly been Terry.

Yeah. Hi, everyone. KG Fumbler. I lost my status.

Sorry, I forgot that was their expect too.

I mean, I forgot we talked about that. We've only had four wild cards.

I mean I kind of thought that was the last year mine.

My movie has come up three times.

Yep.

But two of them have been vetoed out by Keith.

No, only one by me.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I beat up Green Lantern. Although it was only. It wasn't because I didn't want to watch it because I really wanted to watch mine.

Yeah. Boy, thank goodness that happened.

Yeah, mine was.

Mine was strictly out of spite not wanting to watch it.

But we'll Find out at the end if that was a good choice for Keith or not.

That's true. I don't know if this was much better for Keith. Both.

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. I'll tell you right now, still better choice.

Oh, I was watching this.

I'm like, I think Keith hates this movie. I know he does. Anyway, we'll find out.

The question was about comparing that to Madame Web and I'm happy with my choice.

Okay. I've never seen Mad Website. Couldn't tell you. But what I have seen is Relaxer, but only because I watched it today. Now, before we talk about our viewing of Relaxer from whatever year this was that Terry chose and the wheel gave us before Terry takes us closer to relaxer than we could ever imagined. Did any of us having previous knowledge, history or experience with relaxer.

I think it came up on a deep dive the week before.

I think he came up in deep dive that exact week, to be honest.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that exact week. Sorry.

Yeah.

Man, these weeks are flying together.

They are. They're flying by. I had never heard of it. Terry brought it up and I was like, oh, that sounds interesting.

I'd heard of it tangentially just because I had watched some of this director's movies and I was looking at other stuff a long time ago and I remembered it when I brought up it again on the deep dive.

So there you go.

And as I was starting to watch it today, I was like, man, is this one of the ones Terry City watched by this guy or is this one that's still unknown to him? Because I'm watching like the first, you know, like 20 minutes this. I'm like, I. Oh, Terry is. He's making us watch something he's already seen before. But no, you hadn't seen this.

Nope. This is one I have not seen by him. Yeah.

Anyway, Keith, our challenge right now is to relax.

Literally.

We do it every week. But it's more apropos this week as we are the become the relaxers as Terry is going to take us closer to Relaxer than we could have ever dreamed. Getting in another patent pending Fumblers deep dive.

That's right. The relaxee has become the relaxer.

Oh,

how long you written that one down for?

I've been stewing on that for a couple weeks.

Practice it in the mirror just in

case this came up at some point. Yeah, yeah. So this movie came out in 2018. With the impending Y2K apocalypse fast approaching, Abby is faced with the ultimate challenge. The unbeatable level 256 on Pac man and he can't get off the couch until he conquers it. It's a survival story set in the living room.

It's a lot more sentences than I expected.

Yeah. I feel like you should have ended

it earlier, kept it at the first one. It'd be really burying the lead.

Yeah. If you just kept it as like Abby is facing the ultimate challenge. Like, oh, what could that be?

Yeah. As Y2K looms, which. Yeah, we'll get to it.

So this movie was written and directed by Joel Patrickis, which we've talked about. Last Guy. Yeah, he directed and wrote Ape as well, which in Depth also stars Joshua Berg as Abby, the main character who we all talked about last week. He was the main character of Ape as well.

Oh, yeah, These guys.

Where does this fall in? So if. Because we discussed last time, Ape was his first movie. Is this his most recent?

It is not his most recent, but it is much later in his. His career. It's one of his late. Like, I don't think it's his. I think it might be a second to last movie he's done.

I mean, this is one was 2018.

Right.

So, yeah. So this was 2012.

Yep. So his. It was his second to last full length film. His last film was Vulcan Isadora.

Oh, gotcha. That's right.

We talked about those two quite a bit. So I'm going to talk about a different guy. I'm going to talk about David Dasmalkian, David Malchian. Sure. That's, I think, how you say it. He plays Cam, which is Abby's brother in the film.

Yes.

So this is a guy that I like quite a bit. He was an Oppenheimer. The latest just thrown on film. At least at time. Recording Odyssey is coming out very soon. Really good film. I saw an IMAX and it was awesome.

Yes.

He played Polka Dot man as the Suicide Squad. Yes. Directed by James Gunn. Also an awesome movie. I really like that.

When the movie started I said, is that Polka Dot Man? Because they didn't really show his face very much and I wanted to look it up, but I didn't want to ruin my surprise at the deep dive.

Well, surprise, It's Polka Dot Man. Yes.

Well, it was confirmed at the end when he was like all in the camera. I was like, okay, that is him.

Well, his name flashes up on the screen and it goes by quickly and I'm like, no, they can't be right. It's gotta be like a brother or something like that. This can't be like the guy that. That I'm familiar with.

It's poking on me.

It is.

Well, I mean, he's. He's. He's. That. He's in that. I don't want to step up.

Don't say Keith. I know you're about to say.

I'm not gonna say anything else there, but. Yeah, like, I've seen him in a bunch of things, and I'd like him in a lot of things, so it's very cool that he. But it just really threw me for a loop when. Because then I started reading, like, some of the credits, the opening credits. I'm like, are they just throwing people's names in here? Immediately got me kind of, like, really paying a lot of attention.

Yes. So this guy was also in the movie. Keith was about to say Late Night with the Devil.

Yes, he was. I knew he was gonna say that.

I could feel it coming. I should have just let you, Keith, just for payback for all times I did to you. So this is about TV host. He goes live with a Halloween special, but inadvertently awakens the forces of evil on the live tv.

I like.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. I like it quite a bit, actually.

I never seen it.

Oh, you enjoy that one?

Yeah. He plays a TV host, does a really good job. He was also in a movie called Dust Bunny, which came out last year.

Oh, that's streaming now.

I do believe he played a character called Conspicuously Inconspicuous Man. Oh, yes. So that's intriguing. Dust Bunny is about a little girl who hires a hitman to kill the monster underneath her bed.

I like that concept.

It's a good idea. Yeah. Stars Matt Mickelson and Sigourney Weavers in it as well.

Yeah. I think we brought this up on another deep dive, the Casino Royale deep dive.

Did we? Oh, yeah, we probably.

We did.

Yeah. Because Matt Mickelson was in that, wasn't he? Yeah, you're right.

Stepping over. Over the Casino Royale. Well, well, well. Terry, I don't think.

I don't think we discussed what the actual plot of that movie was. I think we just mentioned. I would have remembered that, because now I kind of want to watch that.

No.

Well, well, Keith.

Well, well, well, indeed. Looks like maybe I dived a little deeper than the old Casino Royale deep dive.

Well, in my defense, I had a lot more to deep dive with Casino Royale.

Yeah, that's true. I'm kind of. I'm already turning on old ground by mentioning a couple people here. So, anyways, well, fun fact about this guy and I. I have to believe it's true. I don't. I cannot confirm this, but someone I used to work with went to high

school with this guy, Polka Dot Man.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's what he told me. He said it's pretty cool, dude.

Okay, what was the relationship again?

You went to high school with him.

But how do you know this person?

You worked with me at one point.

Oh, you worked with him. Okay. I think it's. For some reason my brain processed. As someone you went to high school with supposedly went to high school with. Would you have gone to high school with him?

No, no, no, no. That's somebody I worked with. That's what he told me. And he said he's a cool guy, so pretty neat.

He's M. Bison in that new.

He is.

Yeah, he's M. Bison.

Wow. What a pig. That's interesting. Yeah. It's gonna be hard to top that one guy.

I don't know if you guys watch Murderbot.

No, I read the book.

I've read a couple of the books.

Yeah, he's in that.

Oh, yeah.

He's been. He's been a whole bunch of different stuff that I've seen. So I. I actually like him a lot when he shows up.

Yeah. When he pops up, I'm like, oh, it's Polka Dot.

I don't know.

His real name is. I'll probably never know. Even though you just said it.

It's David something. And I can't.

Don't matter. He's Polka Dot Man.

Yeah, that's Malchi.

Yeah, whatever.

He'll always be Polka Dot Man. My heart. That.

That's how I'll refer to him. And if you don't know who he is, that's your fault.

Yeah. You should.

Not you specifically, Terry. I know you know Polka Dot man is about.

Hurt my feelings.

Future conversationalist listeners out there. Yeah.

If you've never heard Polka Dot man, you need to do your research.

Get a life, man. Get a life.

Get cultured. Okay.

Yeah. Get good at Life.

One of DC's most iconic characters. Instead of talking about other stuff, I decided to do a little research on the behind the scenes of the film. I looked at some interviews, the cast and the director. So I found a interview on the AV Club YouTube channel.

Okay.

So I'm just going to mention some highlights I saw. So Joel said that it's always been kind of his dream just to sit in the living room and play video games all day with no one to disturb him for like a whole year. Basically, he Just went to do that. Like, that's his dream retirement. And this was his chance to put on screen, but more in a nightmarish way, I guess.

Yeah, I would call it nightmarish.

It is true that Billy Mitchell put out a challenge in 1999 to beat the 256th level of PAC man, though it truly is impossible. And Billy Mitchell knew that, and that's why he did it, so nobody would win.

Yeah, I recognize that. Billy Mitchell from. He's the King of Kong guy too, right?

Yes.

It turns out he cheated it there too.

Yeah, he cheated.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yep, yep. Not a great good dude from what I've heard, but never met him, so. I don't know.

The moment you said 256th level of PAC man, I knew something was wrong. Because 250. 0 to 255 is the maximum value for a bite, right?

So, yes, like.

And that's how they used to keep Track, you know, zero to 255. And I guess if you added one, you get 256. But yes, I don't know if it would display properly. So you can only have up to 255 levels.

So it glitches out just like we saw, I think, like, it just doesn't. It's not playable after that. How does it. This is not really a pertinent question, but it's like, I wonder how, like. So does the ghosts, like, move faster? Do they get smarter every level, or is it just like a grind where you just have to outlast them last?

They just move faster and faster. I don't think they get smarter. That's the same. It's the same. Follow logic regardless of level one or level 255. Just the speed.

Speed up a little bit.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Okay.

The crew and him, they discussed their memories of Y2K, how people were buying up all the bottled water, all the food, like, during December. And Joel said he was the guy who was hyping up to Y2K and saying that everything's gonna crash. He didn't think it would be forever, but he did say he thought it would. Everything would crash for, like, a couple weeks or something.

Yeah.

So that's kind of interesting. So then I found a interview on Nightmare on Film Street's website.

Okay.

This is with Joel as well. Him and Josh Berg, the star of the film, are really good friends. And he has a hard time distancing himself from films that he makes with Josh because he kind of just sees it as him and his friend goofing off, like, making. Making up stuff. So he has a hard time, like, seeing it as an audience member rather than a just like, yeah, I just had some fun on the weekend with my buddy kind of thing. He was really happy to make this film because it's all in one location, very controlled environment. He built the set so he could control every aspect of it. No travel was needed. He could be as lazy as he wanted. It was a dream come true for him. Yes.

Sounds amazing.

The apartment the film takes place in is inspired by his and his roommate's apartment while they're in college. And his roommate is the cinematographer for this film.

Oh, nice.

Or his roommate. His ex roommate, I guess. I don't know if they probably don't like each other anymore. Took 13 days to film, which Joel really liked because he does not like shooting movies. His favorite parts are the writing and editing, but he doesn't like to shoot.

Like, guys got like, half a dozen films, and it's like, I. I really don't like doing this.

That's what he says. He really doesn't like to do the directing part of it. He gets. He says he gets more and more anxious with each film he makes because the pressure gets higher and higher. When he made his first film, he's like, there's no expectations. I just kind of threw it out there to know what to expect. But as he started to kind of gain an audience with all his movies, he is starting to become clear that he's got fans and there's expectations. Film festivals are, like, requesting that his film be in their festivals. All this stuff. And he is. He. He finds that the. He gets more anxious as it goes.

So I can only imagine.

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Yeah, I'd be a little stressed by that, too.

Problem I'd like to have, I think.

Yeah, okay. I mean, I'd like to have. You know, I can always just stop. I feel like if I made one and everybody liked it, I'd be like, okay. Too anxious.

Going on top right there.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. So he does. He did talk about. He's a teacher, and he did talk about this a little bit. He's a college professor of film, and he said that sometimes students will enroll in his classes just because they've seen the films that he's made. He says he likes that because he knows they'll pay attention right away. He doesn't have to, like, earn their respect. He's like. He knows they want to be there because they want to Learn from him. That makes sense. And he says he's also kind of funny because they usually annoy all the other students because they constantly are referencing his films, like, asking questions about it, and other students are like, what are you talking about?

Which.

That's great. Yeah. I thought that was pretty funny. And then he says on the plus and minus side is like, usually by the end of the semester, like, all the students have seen at least one of his movies, but it's usually the very mixed results. It's like a lot of his students usually just think his films are gross and weird.

So a lot of students are like, why did I just take a class with this guy?

Yeah, right. He also said that he has been offered for some bigger indie films to direct and, like sequels in Hollywood, but he would rather not because he does not like directing.

He doesn't like making movies. Yes.

So if he is going to do it, he'd rather do it with his own stuff because it's, you know, stuff that he wants. Actually wants to do. Teaching is his real passion anyways. That's where he gets a lot of his, like, his money from and all his, like. I don't know, it's fulfillment from that. And this is more of, like, filmmaking is kind of a side project he expresses himself with. It's kind of just a. It's more of a passion project, you know?

I like this dude.

Yeah. I thought that was really cool. He said there's no. There's not really any amount of money that he could be paid to go through the shooting process. It's like he only does it because it's like a labor of love that he wants to do something himself.

So it's a labor of love for something I hate.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah.

It's like he's got to love the material that much, I guess. Just one fun fact that I found on the trail. Trivia as well. So this movie actually does take place in the same universe as another Joel Patrick. His film, the Alchemist Cookbook.

Oh, okay.

The character Cortez, who shows up about halfway through with that nurse. Yeah. He's in both movies.

Oh, is he a main character in the other one?

Yes. Yeah.

Okay. Same actor.

Yep. Same actor, same character name, same everything. Yep. All right. He looked familiar. Then I saw that. I was like, oh, yeah. Okay. There he is.

So Cortez. Oh, yeah.

He's back. He's back.

Oh, my God, Terry, that was so close.

Thank you.

Goddamn close.

Yep. I did. I pulled up some old newspapers from eons past. You Know on the micro fish. Yeah, I was at the library. Just where do you have on relaxer?

Just like that, too. Come over.

What do you have?

Tell me.

Come to the relaxer wing of the library.

Books upon books on this film just about this movie, Relaxer, all written by the same guy. That's weird. This one guy who's just obsessed with it.

Relaxer, underscore 42069. Right.

He doesn't even use his real name.

He just loves a relaxer. Can't blame him.

Yeah, why not?

Why not? Well, we did it. We got really close to Relaxer. Thanks to Terry Keith, we're done relaxing now. We gotta get on the edge of our seats.

Yeah. Now it's the opposite.

Engage as we talk about our viewing of Relaxer. What's the. What's the actor's name? The main actor?

Josh Berg.

I like him.

Yes. I like.

At first I was like, in Ape, I was like, I think I like this guy. He seems all right, this movie. Like, oh, he's really good. I like him.

He is good. And I know I said my Deep Dive was done, but I just remembered this from the article. I didn't put it in my notes, but he said that. So they're good friends, right? And the guy asked him if. When he's writing movies, because they work together a lot now, like, if he's writing parts specifically for Josh Berg instead, you know, for his movies. He says he tries not to do that because he wants Josh or Wilberg to come in with his own spin on it, you know, like, he wants. He doesn't write it with him in mind. He has his own, like, version of it. Then when Joshua Burke comes in, they kind of had some surprises and some changes, you know, and then he kind of, like, he'll shift it a little bit to match Joshua Burr's energy.

But yeah, all right.

Yeah, I like him, too. I think he's really good. And I think, yeah, like, AP was good. He's a little. You know, this is probably one of his first films, but, you know, I think he does a pretty decent job and I think he's gotten a lot better from what I've.

I think he's really good in this movie.

He's really good in this. And he's really good in the.

The.

Jesus. What's that called? Vulcan Asadora. He's really good in that as well. Yeah, I think he's really found his own, like, he's got, like, a nice, interesting, kind of, like, awkward loser vibe, I guess. Like, in the nice way, I guess,

you know, that's the nicest of ways. Yeah.

I think my favorite moment from him in this movie is such a throwaway moment. And it happens, like, shortly after opening clip when the guy's got the. The cherry cola taped to his hands, and he's like, you want some? Yeah, I'll pour you some. And he pours it into the mop bucket.

Yes.

Why would you do that? So wasteful. Yes. That delivery of that line just feels

like his life right there. It's like he's living. This movie is so grody and, like, gross. Like, yeah, it's. It's such a. Like, I didn't even expect it to be that. Like, this. It just is such, like, a grimy film, and it's just him sitting in the chair for most of it, but, like, the people around him are all, like, not great, and, like, his brother's, like, abusive, basically.

He's sitting in that chair for 99.9% of the movie.

Yes.

You say most of it. No, Almost every single moment is that he does not move from the chair. The chair moves. He does not.

And I mean, it. It's very early on in the movie that, like, as you're watching this, you're just like, oh, my God, the smell. Like, just feeling. Just wretched as I'm watching this go on, because, like, he starts out doing that milk challenge type thing, and then after he pukes, like, the guy's like, all right, move on to the next challenge. You can't go anywhere. I'm like.

Like, can I say an hour, please? Yeah.

He's not gonna get up in the shower. He's not getting up to clean up the.

No.

The vomit or anything. And all the windows are closed.

Yeah. He just lives just.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. This is, like, just continuing to get, like. Not just gross, but, like, I don't know. Like, you know, obviously you can't smell it because it's a movie, but, like, you can tell. You could. You have a feeling of, like, what that room is smelling like. And just, like, you know, he's got the puke. Eventually. He's got the soda all spilled all over. Like, he's got super sticky and everything.

You're just like, sewer water spills on him.

Oh, my God.

This movie is bleak.

Yes, it is bleak.

One of the most bleak movies I've ever seen in my entire life.

It. It's just. It's uncomfortable.

The bleak ramps. It just. They just keep bleak upon. Bleak upon. Bleak upon Bleak.

Yes. I feel so like, I feel bad for this guy but it's. It's so such a strange like cuz like he's doing these challenges. Right. And it's like the milk thing. I'm not exactly sure what he gets out of this at all. Besides just his brother's respect, quote unquote.

The brother's not going to charge him for rent if he does. The.

Even though he knows his mom pays the rent every month. The dude is clearly the victim of substantial long standing abuse.

Yes.

Psychological for sure. Potentially physical. The. The. The guy is just mentally broken.

This. Yeah. The whole thing with his dad. They talk about every once in a while like something weird happened there that he complete denial about. Yeah, he is completely like, it's like, it's so pathetic. Like and sad. Like you're just like, he does not stand up for himself. Like his brother's basically telling him what to do. Like you have to do the challenge. Like dude, get up and take a shower, clean yourself off. But no, he takes the challenge and his friend shows up. And his friend is kind of a jerk as well. Like you could just get up and get your own sandwich. But like, yeah, even his friends not helping him out of the situation. Like it's just this weird thing. Like nobody in this movie is friendly to him besides that nurse. The nurse is nice.

Like the guy comes in and he's like, yeah, my bologna sandwiches, they're in the microwave. Why? First of all, why are they in the microwave?

Why do they have two holes in them too?

Right.

I think that's. So he identifies as his and not his brother. So that's what my guess was.

I guess. I don't know.

But then that dude houses one really quick. He's like, yeah, I'm still looking for him. You can hear him chewing the whole time.

He is constantly on. And he doesn't want to be a quitter. So even though his brother left for seven months minimum, minimum seven months. He could have got up at any moment to use the bathroom to do anything.

Yeah. You didn't have to stay there. Like you. I could sense even with the milk scene, the desperation of him using that milk chug to pee in.

Yes.

And then that doesn't work out at all. But like, you know, like, yeah, just get up, dude. Like it just, you know, push back a little bit. But he never does. He just. Until he puts on the sunglasses or those 3D glasses. Then everybody's like, oh, look out. Yeah. Which I really like that whole like concept whenever he Put that on. It's like they, like. Oh, they know he's like, quote unquote

serious, you know, but like, it. It funnels his X Men powers, right?

Yes. It's like it escalates because each time it's like, is this actually something he's doing or is it a coincidence?

Well, you think it's something he's doing, and then the roaches climb out of that cup, and you're like, yes. But then right after that, they come in to bug bomb the apartment. And this is like, right at halfway through the movie. It's what some would call the midpoint.

Oh. Where everything changes.

Everything changes because they bug. He stays in his apartment. It's poison. It's bug bombed.

Yes.

He puts on a mask, but he's, like, eating food that's been bug bombed.

You see him, he cough and he coughs out all of that dust and stuff. Just like, oh, my God.

And the whole time he's just sitting there in his underwear, too, on the couch.

Yes.

He hasn't done anything.

Yeah.

But after the bug bomb, he has what could be argued as legitimate telekinetic powers. Or at least there's coincidences that happen that could fall under the realm of telekinetic powers. Possibly. You don't know until the end.

Yes. And is that even real? Or is that, like, his imagination guy?

Is that he. He makes that guy think, like, maybe he's having, like, a heart attack or something. Or it seems like, like the guy

kind of grabbed his guy. It's having chest pains. He's got the glasses on, staring at him.

Right. That's true. That was pretty real.

I felt like, yeah, I think it's all real. I think it's just like, dude growing a tree out of his side. It's all the same thing. It's real. Why not? Why not believe it's real? Even though, just like in ape, there's a chance he could have died at the midway point, because the midway point in that the guy gets wrench, Right? Yeah.

And this one.

This one, he gets bug bopped.

Yeah, that's true. He could be dead. And the angel is the nurse that comes see him. And then there's Satan.

Yeah. I mean, and even, like, at the end where, you know, he's got that knife that he wants to give his dad, and, like, he's like, oh, you finally met. Like, you have no idea.

But his dad was like, where's. Where's dad? He's dead.

You have no idea where. Like, who walked in through that Door.

Yeah, we gave him the knife he was given. Got the knife for his dad. So it's either his dad or somebody thinks it's his dad. Or maybe they're in hell and that is his dad.

It could be. His dad's probably there. Sounds like. Yeah.

Yeah.

It could be. A whole thing is like, you know, he's going through the circles of hell.

Yeah.

Could be half forced to play Pac man, where half the time he's not even touching the controller. So I'm like, is he just dying? Like, what's going on here? He's not trying that hard.

I feel like there's big chunks of the game where, like, the game, you can just hear the music playing in the background. Nothing is actually. He's not. He's taping up those little grasper things and trying to reach further. That bird comes flying in through the window.

Yeah.

Through telekinetic powers, he's trying to get the window to open. And it opened.

Yeah. And he keeps it in a box, hoping it's gonna get better or something, I guess.

No, he's just.

He's got. He's lost his mind. He's not good.

He's not good.

At that point, his only companion and his brother wants to eat it.

The nurse lady, she's like, I know somebody who knew the guy who claimed to have gotten to the Magic Pacman level. And she draws up the pattern just from her mind.

She gives him the hint to escape his circle of torment.

But even that months go by before he even actually does anything with that, too.

I think he's had a lot of practice. He finally perfected it.

Yeah.

That was epic when he did that.

So I guess I. When his brother goes to leave and go to, like, the bunker or whatever, and he's like, okay, I'll give you till New Year's Eve. I kind of thought they were close to New Year's Eve already. Like, you know, maybe a few days away. Like, when does this. How far out does this movie actually start?

Well, when she. When the nurse came by, it was July 25th.

That's right.

She goes, it's the 25th. He goes, it's Christmas. No, it's July 25th.

And see, I actually. The Christmas thing I actually would have thought was right because I was like, I was probably for a couple of days. And he's gonna give him, like, five days to do this challenge or whatever.

Yeah.

His brother just leaves for six, seven months, and he can't get anybody to help him at all.

Like, calls people. But Then he ends up ripping the phone cord, right? He yanked the phone and it ripped the phone cord out. So he couldn't use the phone after that. And that's when he decided to break open the wall to try to get water. And when he, when he did, you know, the itty mini mini mode to figure out which pipe to break, and he chose the big one. I'm like, that's a sewage pipe that is going to the sewers, not going to the faucets.

That's so gross.

I, I, that's the moment I almost wretched. I was like, oh, boy. Because I knew what it was. And we talked about this. Remember when I saw goldfish eat its own poop and I almost puke?

Oh, Lord.

Oh, I almost threw up. We was trying to get him to drink the, the ace thing of milk after you refilled it.

That was tough. Luckily, I was folding laundry at that point, so I wasn't like 100 zoned in. Oh, I was on the treadmill when I was. When he broke open the pipe. I had just finished eating dinner. I was eating dinner at the, Like, I gotta eat. I'm hungry. But I also gotta finish this movie because obligations and.

Why not both.

Yep. And I. Oh, boy.

Yeah. I feel like this is a film that made me feel dirty. Like, not necessarily. I don't know if it's in a bad way. That's the point of it. Like, literal. Like, I felt like I was watching it. There was, like, just, like, I could feel the apartment's, like, nastiness. Like, just like. No, because I've, I've had friends before, right? Like, go to their place. I'm like, oh, gosh. Like, this is what you live in and this is like that, but times, like, three.

But only three times three.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

Like, this is. But it's still nasty. Like, it's just. I don't know. I feel so bad that this guy's living in this. It doesn't seem like he, he knows any better. Like, you know what I mean? Like, he's not, he's. This is the best he knows.

And it's like you mentioned, you know, before, like, 99% of this is him sitting until he finally stands up at the very end. It's like 98 of the movie where he's sitting, but also, like, 95 of the thing is, the camera is right on him. And just occasionally they will pan out and you see the rest of the place and you see, like, all the stuff, like, scribbled on the walls. And like, things and you're like, oh, my God, this place is just like a. A hellhole.

It's a. Yeah.

Disgusting apartment.

When they move the couch and they're set like the drawing of Bart Simpson.

Yes.

And all the garbage.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, the janitor.

Bart Simpson. So excited about. Or flabbergasted, probably.

Yeah, it's Bart Simpson with like a 18 inch pencil dick.

Okay. Just hiding. Can you imagine, like, rearranging your living room and behind the couch. Was that the whole time?

Well, I don't think that was a hidden treasure. That was. He knew it was there because the rest of the wall had drawn all over it too.

Well, yeah, Every time they panned over, they'd. You'd get a little bit further look out to see, like the whole thing. Like, I don't know. It looks like he had like a calendar on the wall at one point in time, too.

It was just drawn on there.

Yeah.

What was his brother's name?

Cam.

It was like, Cam is an. Or something like that written on there? Your Cam is a dick. Yeah, there's stuff written all over the wall. He's clearly gotten up off of the couch at other times.

It's possible.

Yeah. Just not in this movie.

When he's done a challenge, though, he can't get up.

We have the challenge requires him to stay there then. Yeah.

And even in between challenges, apparently, if you make the next challenge, I mean,

the challenge happened like, right after the end of the other challenge. Brother didn't give a chance to breathe. His brother is. Is an abusive. Yeah, he gets what he gets deserved.

And he films every single challenge that he, like, makes his brother do and does.

Does nothing but make him do challenges.

Yeah.

He wants to take all the videos of his incompletions. You'll watch with his friends.

Well, even his friends. Yeah, his quote unquote friend who shows up, like, wants to go watch all these humiliating videos.

Yeah, there's a video puking or whatever.

Yeah, I like the. This is First Drive. And then it's like he has one of them and he's like, how could you have more than one First Drive video?

And I think. I think he says. He goes, oh, it's a multicam. Yeah, he does. I just thought that that was just

so funny that I. Yeah, it's one of those First Drive videos I did.

He. He had two things for his friend to do. Bring me some cherry cola and a pizza from Chuck E. Cheese. And the Pac man video, which you assume is a video of someone playing Pac Man.

Yes.

But it turns out it's. It's a video of the cartoon series from the 80s.

Animated series.

Yeah. Supposed to be the lost third season or something like that.

That whole exchange is like, if I stop now, it might be in the second season. He's like, second season.

Even when he said the second season, I didn't. It didn't register.

And then he turns it on. It's that cartoon which I watched as a child. It's like, oh, my God.

And he's. And he's so mad about it. He's like, oh, great, they're on some sort of picnic or something. How would I know? And it's like. Like it's not that hard to pick

up on what's going on. It's the Pac man cartoon show.

I guarantee is not like a episode by episode long storyline going.

Oh, it's not. Same thing. Pretty. The same thing pretty much happened in every single episode.

I bet you there's a theme song that probably lays out the whole premise.

Oh, I hope so.

I'm pretty sure the ghosts tried to do something to Pac man in every episode.

Yeah. The ghosts are like mobsters.

Yeah.

They really. Villains.

Yeah.

Okay.

But. But they have, like that. Yeah, I see here. Yeah. That sort of like old gangster style talk to him. If I'm not mistaken, it's been 40 years.

Yeah.

Three Stooges esque.

Yeah, yeah. Just that, like the whole 1930s vibe to him. Yeah, a little bit, probably. That makes sense.

Maybe they're the ghosts of the Three Stooges.

Oh, my gosh. And Sue. Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Sue.

Yeah.

Oh, clyde. Sue is Ms. Pac man, isn't it?

Sue's Ms. Pac Man.

Yeah.

Yeah. But. Yeah, they had both of them, I do believe, because I think Sue's the one in charge of the ghost. I think she's like, the lead, the leader of them. Because Clyde wears a hat or something like that.

Clyde's the orange one, I think.

Yeah. And I think he's a bit of an idiot type guy.

They're ghosts. They're always idiots.

What?

That's. That's the thing about ghosts, Terry. Stupid ghosts are dumb.

I mean, I guess everything just goes through their head. You know what I mean?

Think of everything.

You know, about the other.

Why are ghosts ghosts?

They died.

But not just died. They're usually bound to this realm by some sort of, like, unfinished business or, you know, they gotta. They gotta solve something.

Yes.

But they don't know that they're dead. Dumb.

That's true.

It doesn't take dumb.

Ghosts don't know what they're doing when they're beginning.

They can't communicate properly. Lots of ghost problems will be solved if the ghost could just sit you down and be like, listen, I know I'm dead. I know I'm not corporeal here. I'm an ethereal. Right. But listen, we got to work this out. We're gonna live in the same old house. We gotta figure this out.

Yeah, like, look, just put the. This letter in the mailbox and send it out, and I'll be happy.

I'll just leave, mail the letter, solve my murder.

There's no need to flip a table, stack a bunch of chairs ominously in the kitchen.

Quit opening the cabinets.

Ghost ghosts are so passive aggressive.

I wonder if ghosts think they're clearly communicating their issue by stacking up chairs, opening cabinets, breaking things, dragging you into

the darkness, Dragging you into the darkness.

Moaning in the other room.

The chains are rattling the chain. Yeah, I think they probably do. Like, I feel like once you're a ghost, like, you talk. You don't know how to talk human anymore. You only know how to talk ghosts. All the other ghosts are out of their chains and stuff. You're like, oh, I get that.

Yeah. I think. I think, like, the ghosts in the. The Christmas Carol, I think they're. They explain exactly what they.

Oh, they're. They're hyper. They're like the ghost leaders. They're the smartest of all the ghosts.

They're very. Casper the friendly Ghost. I don't.

He's not. I'd say he's. He's like. He's. He's advanced, but he's not, like, super.

He doesn't care if anybody solves his murder. He's just friendly and wants to hang out.

Casper is a ghost of a child, and children are pretty dumb.

That's true. If you look at all the Casper cartoons, I guarantee he doesn't breed dumb stuff.

Yeah, I guarantee. But kids, like, I'm not on kids. They're just. They're not as smart as adults. Well, some of them are.

That's the problem. If you're a kid and a ghost, you're just double dumb.

You're double dumb. It's like dumb times dumb. You're just like, ah, damn it. There's nothing you can do. Dumb squared.

You can't.

What if he had a very dark version of Casper the Friendly Ghost where, like, he wanted somebody to actually solve

what happened, but he wouldn't be friendly anymore if it was some Sort of. Yeah. It could be, like, brooding ghost.

Oh, that's a good idea.

He needs somebody. He needs somebody to help solve, like, his murder.

Whatever, man.

How come the show never touched on how he died?

I don't know. Consumption or something like that.

Consumption.

He died from tuberculosis.

It was probably like. Yeah. Tinnitus. Or not a tinnitus.

He's got ringing. The ringing is. You're so intense. He dies.

It's really loud. Yeah. What is? Tetanus.

You want to say tetanus?

Yeah, but the tinnitus would really suck.

God, that'd be a terrible way to die. I have tinnitus and I can't imagine dying from it. I'm mildly annoyed by it.

Yeah.

Oh, man. It would have to be intense.

Yeah. Yeah. I. I like this stance that ghosts are dumb. I do. It's like. It's like sometimes you get good ghosts and, like, you learn. Oh, all along they were trying to tell me something, but it's like, why didn't you just tell me? Write on a napkin. I know you have the ability to write things because sometimes I find creepy stuff written on the walls.

Yeah, just say, like, usually. Please, the word murder written backwards or something like that.

Please. What? It's like, hey, listen, watch out. Your dad's about to go insane and kill everyone with an ax.

Yeah. Be helpful. Ghosts.

Yeah.

Because sometimes ghosts in the Shining were not.

But they were mean.

They were mean. Those are mean ghosts.

What about, like, you know, like, you know, Indian burial ground? You could spell out someplace as opposed to, like, all the other stuff that they do.

You got better words than that, man.

Because that's what it is. Right. Okay, sorry. Native American bear drowned. You can tell somebody, hey, they only move the headstones. As opposed to, like, you know, all the other creepy stuff that goes on in Poltergeist.

Yeah. The guy peels off his face in the mirror.

Oh, Lord. Yeah. Tries to tell me something through my dream and makes me peel my face up. I am not in a willing listening mood. You know what I mean?

Those are angry ghosts. And, you know, in life, I've learned that some of the angriest people are also the dumbest people.

I met one of them this weekend. Like, I mean, I want a ghost who knows how, like, cook and stuff like that. That's what I want.

A cooking ghost.

Yeah. So, like, they can make my food for me.

Ghost Chef. Now, that's an idea.

Oh, that is an idea.

We could make an animated series about Ghost Chef. He goes around it.

Once was a ghost who had magical

cleaver used to chop up meat. I think it's a million dollar idea. It really is. There's that show Ghosts on cbs. Has anybody seen it?

No.

Me neither. It's been on for like several years. Somebody must watch it. Who?

Somebody does. Yeah.

Who watches Ghosts?

If you're listening, the people who used to watch Big Bang Theory.

It's the.

It's all the ghosts or Two and a Half Men.

But it's just Theory had a huge audience. Does Ghost have a huge audience?

I don't think any show has a huge audience anymore.

Well, I'm gonna find.

First I'm hearing it. Is it funny?

Yes. Well, it's labeled as a comedy. Is it funny? Couldn't tell you. The CBS sitcom Ghost appeals to a broad mainstream audience drawing over 5 million viewers per episode as one of the network's top comedies.

Impressive.

It attracts fans of light hearted ensemble sitcoms featuring a mix of supernatural fantasy and slapstick humor suitable for families, while often deemed appropriate for viewers age 10 and older.

Interesting.

There we go.

I've never heard.

I'll still never watch it.

I think it's about somebody that lives in a house that can see ghosts. And there's ghosts that live in the house.

Yeah, it's like my go, my roommate, the ghost kind of thing.

Maybe like that. Yeah. I think one of my favorite ghost movies ever we've talked about before is the Frighteners.

Oh, I've not watched that one.

That's a Peter Jackson movie with Michael J. Fox. Yeah, he uses ghost to do cons. He's like a con man with ghosts.

Oh, that's a good idea.

It is.

He like, he sends them into like, you know, like possess something.

Then he goes, yeah, yeah. And then it turns out there's a real ghost that's out to get him or something like that because his wife died or something. I can't remember what it is. It's been a while since I've seen it, but I really enjoyed it. Saw it in theaters.

I watched like six months ago.

Six months, Keith. As long as dude was on the couch and relaxer almost as long.

Yeah. And his skin is melting to the couch. He's got like open wounds on his

knees when he's sitting there. I'm like, he's gotta have bed sores because he's not moving and. Yeah, he had bed sores.

It was gross.

It was really gross. See, I mean, he had sewage sprayed on him. He had also.

Oh, God, I will say part of this like the challenge type thing where he's like, yeah, you do this whole thing. You can't leave the couch. He's like, okay, I lay down. He goes, no.

I'm like, why?

You just said you couldn't leave the couch. So why couldn't I, like, kick my feet up and, like, you know, stretch out a little, Move to a different

part of the couch.

Yeah. Like, that one just threw up over everything.

You know, his brother's gonna say no to everything. So don't. Don't ask any more questions. Say, oh, I have to stay on the couch. Got it. All right, well, I'm. As soon as that guy leaves, I'm crawling all over that thing.

Because there's, like. There's a cup that dude leaves, and it's at the end of the coffee table, which is still right in front of the couch.

You could just.

Other end of the couch. Just scoot over on the couch, get the cup scoop back.

It's against the rules. You shouldn't have asked.

So he does not want to go against what his brother says. He just wants, like. That's why it's so bleak to me. Like, because he's. He's clearly a broken human being.

Yeah.

And his brother abuses the shit out

of him, also gives him the challenge, and then leaves for, like.

Yeah.

Weeks on end. How's his brother gonna know if he stood up and.

Exactly. He doesn't. But he's so afraid. He's so afraid that he doesn't break out of that in any. He doesn't go against it in any way anyway. There's a point where you be like, man, it's been 72 hours. He hasn't come back. I'm gonna go take a shower. You know, like, you can do that.

Do some sweeping, you know, maybe wipe down some.

Anything.

Puke off the couch. Yeah.

Get a glass of water.

Yeah. I'm so desperate, I'm gonna break into the sewage pipe to get water.

Oh, God.

I'm gonna go to my sink and get some.

The movie was a lot. It was. Bleak is the only word I could think for it.

Yeah. I wasn't expecting it to be this grimy, which the more we talk about, the more I'm like, I like it. But when I got done watching, I was like, I don't know what this. Think about this thing.

I was all the way to the end. I'm like, this movie's a tough watch. A tough watch. Not because it's bad, but because it just really goes against the grain of everything. Like, yeah, civilization.

Well, civilization Falls apart at the end of the film.

But we're going to talk about the last like 90 seconds of this movie because it doesn't matter. This movie's eight years old. And worse, it's a spoiler zone. His brother returns and just immediately goes to abusing him. Walks in, instead of having any modicum of compassion, just goes right into abusing him.

Yeah. It's like, you're still here. Oh, my God. Like, yeah.

Eating pizza in front of him. Just treating him like trash. And he gets up and he puts on the 3D glasses and he scanners them. His head explodes in beautiful, practical gore. It did look awesome. There's only like a fraction of a second, probably like three frames of film where you could see that it was a dummy exploding. And then it exploded. Oh, it was beautiful. Well done.

Yeah, it looked great. And yeah, him just staring at it covered in blood was awesome.

Yeah. And then there's a knock on door. And you guess it's his dad because he made it. And he holds out that knife that he got for his dad who's been hiding in his couch. Wouldn't trade it away. Guy wanted to trade a cherry. An 89 cent cherry soda for this bowie knife.

Yeah, this life didn't even look that great, to be honest.

But it was a big knife. I mean, it was worth more than $0.89.

Yeah, that's true.

At least. At least $5. At least.

At least. Especially 1990. Yeah, 99. Yeah. Yeah. That ending was pretty cool. Yeah, I like that. His brother kept taunting him like, you can't even get up, can you? And then he does an explosion. I was like, yes, finally. Get this guy out of here.

But I thought it was wild that he. He was blaming. Blaming himself for the collapse of civilization because he got to level 257.

Yeah, he got to it right when the.

Yeah.

People were cheering me on. There's bright lights. Yeah. Because July, it's January 31st. Yeah.

Dropping the ball right outside. Right.

Not just any rollover of the clock. The 2000 roll over the clock. Right. Everybody's all excited. Fireworks. And it like peaks right at that moment. It's like, all right. And then everything dies. And he just sits there. He just sits there.

He's just relaxing.

Yeah. Like you. Are you gonna just sit here until he diaglies. Just gonna sit and relax a little longer.

And his brother told him to relax before he left too.

That's what he's gonna do.

Bleak. Bleak.

But hey, at least we got a psychic fellow running around now, so. That's nice. Superpowers confirmed. I'm sure he'll help out society.

Yeah. Did I ever tell you about what I'm sure. I feel like I've. I've talked about this on the show. When I was in Chicago, and I used to walk from bus stop to bus stop and work to work. One of the things I absolutely hated in Chicago, like, the major roads are. Are basically just two lanes. One going that way, one coming this way. And then there was bus lanes on either side, right? So wide enough for a bus to pull up. And pull up, the bus stops. Well, a lot of people, heaven forbid, have to wait for the car in front of them in a stoplight. So they'll pass them through the bus lane and, like, stop lights. I absolutely hated it. I'd walk, and when somebody would do that, I would do this, like, little magneto flipping my hand gesture, hoping that one day my X Men superpowers would kick in and I'd flip a car like on Master.

Magnetism has unleashed.

Right. Like, I had the power over metal, or I'm telekinetic all of a sudden, like, it just kicks in at that moment, and I flick my fingers and the car flips over, and I'm a hero.

To me, you just kill a man in a car.

That's a huge leap. They're not going that fast. I just think I would flip them over at, like, 15 miles per hour.

Okay. Okay. I thought you maybe could send them flying.

No. Well, I could. Well, maybe not the first try.

I mean, you never know when. When your mutant powers awaken. You don't got a lot of control. You might just start trolling.

I might just, like, toss it into a building. Who knows?

But go to space, you know, you don't know how.

You don't. You don't know how hard you have to flick your hand, your wrist to make that work.

Could you imagine, like, you're, like, having a bad day, and you're like, okay, I can't wait any longer. I have to pass this guy. I'm just tired. I got to get home. So you, like, you do the illegal thing, and you go to the bus lane, just pass. And then all of a sudden, your car gets launched into orbit.

I love the idea of that's the first time it kicks in, and you don't know how hard it's going to be, and you just launch a car so far and so fast that it was. Breaks through the atmosphere and goes into orbit. I love it. That's amazing. I wish that's what happened. It never did, though.

Well, then who's going to find the evidence if it's in orbit?

That's true. That's the perfect crime.

If you can launch. If you can do crime and launch into orbit, then nothing is can be proven. It's out as intern, you know, international waters, international space.

Space is the ultimate international area.

That's right.

Terry's on the loophole. Yeah, it's kind of. It's kind of like the purge type thing, but it's. We use it whenever.

Because you cannot be convicted for space crimes.

No, not yet. Yeah.

And if you commit the crime here on Earth, but you launch the evidence in space, nobody will know.

Nobody who would know.

I'd recommend sending straight to the sun, but you could send it wherever. Honestly.

Do you remember when Elon Musk launched a Tesla car into space?

Yes.

And how cool he thought he was?

Yeah, I was like, the spoils. It's not that cool.

Has anybody followed up on that car? Because I had a camera on it.

Yeah. What's going on with that thing?

Like, go neat. Did somebody think that was cool when it happened?

I. I think there were people who thought it was cool. I, I wonder if there's a body in that car.

Oh, my God, Terry.

Because like I said. Oh, no one's gonna check.

There's something illegal was in that car. Besides the mannequin in the driver's seat.

Why would you do that? Besides that.

Yeah, there's no meaning for it to

show off, quote, unquote.

And. Oh, and in the ultimate gesture of hubris and, and just like, no one will ever catch me. It's all videoed, right?

Yeah. He's like, look, I filmed everything.

This is, this is, this is a case for Bed La Blanc.

Only he could solve this.

Only he could solve this.

Oh, knives out for where he like, puts on a space suit, gets launched by NASA into space.

SpaceX. Well, so like it was. It was a SpaceX venture, so there's an opportunity that something got screwed up. So that car's probably just floating around the earth right now in orbit.

We can find it. Yeah, you just got to calculate it.

Yeah, it's just like they have us. All you need is like a telescope and just keep looking into space. Eventually you're going to see that car

floating around, have a nice wide angle.

Aliens eventually see, and they're like, man, this ugly car.

Yeah, but the thing that's, you know, like NASA sent off with like, their satellites that they sent out to Saturn and beyond had like Time capsules of. Of Earth culture.

Yeah. Like, cool stuff. Like, look what we did.

And then Apartheid Clyde sends up a car with a mannequin in it and probably some sort of damning materials.

Yeah. The aliens are gonna find that and be like, what is wrong with these people?

Yeah. They'll attack us off a principle.

They're gonna find whatever he hid in that car, and they're gonna assume we're the worst type of people ever, and they're going to come and purge us.

Yeah. And we probably deserve it.

That's fine. I mean, I'll. Look, it's all Elon Musk's fault. That's all I'm saying. If the aliens come, there's a lot

of things you can just say you could attach that sentence to and be probably right.

I would love it if like, like, alien sheriff showed up on Earth and just, like, took him away in, like, handcuffs and floated him back in the.

For intergalactic crimes.

For war crimes. Yeah.

I love that idea. Like, he builds some sort of satellite to be a peeping Tom.

Oh, yeah. He was, like, sparring on the Net, spying at the Neptunians or something. Yeah.

He just wants to see, like, naked alien girls, huh?

Yeah. They finally caught him, and then he

wonders why they don't like him.

Yeah. And he keeps sending them, like, crude texts and saying, like, he's gonna come

and get them, you know, Dick pics via radio wave.

Yeah. Like, it's like, that's what's in the Tesla.

Just like it's a trunk full of dick pics from Elon Musk. Oh.

If you're an alien society and you find this strange boxes, boxes of them, you open up the trunk of it and you're like, what is this? It's just human genitalia.

But you wouldn't know that you're an alien. So you'd be like, this must be a representative of what the civilization on this planet's like.

Yeah.

So they created things to come down, like emissaries to come down to our planet and their penises. Right. Not just any penis. Elon Musk's.

They look exactly like his.

And they all come down and they're talking to us, trying. Trying to bridge the gap.

Nobody knows why they look like this but Elon Musk. And he ain't telling nobody, and nobody

knows why it's this specific, grotesquely malformed penis, I assume. Right?

He's like, oh, that's weird. Yeah.

The news is brought. They gotta blur it all out. The news is like, nobody Knows why this alien ship sent this grotesque penis to us. But not just one, but, like, a

whole bunch of them, a colony of them.

And meanwhile, the aliens are like, why the hell did we pick this? This makes no sense here.

Yeah. They show up and nobody looks like it.

No. Once they land here, they're like, oh, yeah, I think we made a mistake, guys. This is weird.

Yeah. What?

Huh? That's. That's probably what's going to happen. Be ready for it.

Yeah. People, listeners out there, get ready, prep. Get your water bottles and stuff now, because aliens are going to come. They're going to be shaped like Elon Musk's penis of some kind of. And I don't think they're going to be happy when they get here.

No.

Well, they'll be happy at first. They're peaceful. They're. They're bowing down to us, letting us know that they come in peace. But here's the thing. For us, there's nothing peaceful about just a bunch of unwanted dicks.

No, we're, As a society, at least as an American society, we are not okay with that.

No. It's a very aggressive gesture. It is.

Yeah. And that's, like, nobody's gonna. Yeah. I don't really. I feel weird about giving a handshake to him, but I, like.

It's just awkward.

Right.

And they're just photos, so the aliens don't know the functionality of.

No, they don't understand.

No, they just. Here's some things that look like this thing that you sent us hundreds and thousands of pictures of, assuming.

Why is there 2,500 pictures in the trunk?

This on the low end.

What do you mean? You didn't want us to show up looking like this? We could change our form to anything. And you sent us these.

Yeah. Which doesn't explain why there's a mannequin driving the Tesla.

They saw that, but they didn't think it was a supporter.

Well, there's only one mannequin, but there's thousands of pictures of junk.

They saw that mannequin probably thought it was just our, like, little. Or like, our little drone that we sent to drive the car out there. Yeah.

Did we do it, boyos? Did we get through? Relaxer. We still got a lot we got to do this episode here.

Yeah, we got through it good enough. I mean, we could discuss these Elon Musk conspiracy a little longer, but to

call it a conspiracy is to cast a shadow of a doubt upon it. I feel like it is 100% real.

Yeah. I feel like there's something's going on and it's got to be some dick pic related.

It has to be that.

You let us know listeners, what you think. Call it. Call our 1-800number for hotline 1-800-mix a lot.

Kick them nasty thoughts.

Yeah. Yep. All right.

What we do? What do we do? What do we think? What do we do with our time?

Sometimes I want to think of Relaxer. I thought it was pretty grimy, nasty movie. Not necessarily. Like, I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean that literally. Like, it's just, it's just, it's grody and it, it's. You just gotta. You get it. The movie makes you feel like you're in there with him. And I feel bad for the characters, but this is all intentional. So this is like, well done on the filmmaker's part. It's just a hard watch. It's difficult.

Yes.

I was very conflicted at getting done watching it. But as we've talked about it, I think I like it more than I did initially. So, yeah, I think it's a weird movie. I would say just know what you're getting into. Maybe it's just kind of gross.

It is gross. Yes.

I actually like this movie.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

That surprises me.

I. I enjoyed it. Not all of it, and it took a little while to get going. I don't want to say, like, maybe like the last 15, 20 minutes of it, like, is all the craziness factor of him, you know, blowing his brother's head up and all the others like it. It just, it continues to ramp all, all up through there. Kind of like really sells it. There's just some weird conversations that go on in there. I mean, the opening clip that we had was. Was one of the nutty ones. It mostly took me just a bit to get past the whole, like the milk thing and all and the puking and like, just. And being like, oh, my God, it's going to be so nasty in this place the whole time. Once my mind was able to, you know, get past that and I could start enjoying the rest of the stuff that was going on in it and stuff like that. It's all just weird little things constantly happening that he's doing. And yes, I. I actually did enjoy this one, especially compared to the previous one.

Wow. Nice.

Nice. Yeah, I. I like the movie. I did. I love it. No, this movie is bleak. And I said it before. I'm gonna say it again and I'm gonna repeat it one more time. This movie is bleak. Bleak as man. It is just. There's nothing good that happens in this movie. Nothing. Nothing is good. But it was an interesting movie. It had some stuff in it. I liked it. I liked the fact that was in a single setting, which makes this movie so indie af, right?

Yes.

Like, they're like, all right, we got this movie, probably cost $15,000 to make and they had to rent an apartment for like a month. And that's probably it. If it's even an apartment. Who knows? They may have built a set, whatever. Right. There's. It's all one location. It took, what would you say, Terry, 14 days or whatever to make.

Yep.

I believe that the grime, the, the pain, the agony is very well felt throughout this movie. I enjoyed it while I watched again, probably never, but I did like it. Nice. Well, we know what we thought. What did the Internet have to say? Well, on July 22nd of 2019, Tuesday the 17th, had this to say. Thomas Cruz style. It's true. Patrickus's new horror film, Relaxer. Is it a horror film?

It's. It's horrific in like traditional way, but it's vibe wise, I guess. I don't know.

Is a truly unique experience. This film is inventive, creative, potent and just flat out cool.

Cool is not a word I would call it.

I wouldn't call it that. David Dastmelkian is very good as always. Who's that?

That's the Polka Dot Man.

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he's always good.

If he was a Polka Dot man, you know. Exactly.

If it said Polka Dot Man, I would know. But this is 2019, which is before Polka Dot man release the movie. Not the Polka Dot man movie, but you know what I mean.

He should have his own.

He should have several movies. As a huge indie horror lover, I almost feel privileged watching him in this movie. Joshua Berg, who must be friends with the director, was also quite good and did well with the nature of the role. This is his wheelhouse. The majority of the beginning of the movie begins to drag a little at times. But by the time the movie was over, I was in awe. For a dude who was born in 90, I am very familiar with Y2K and remember the panic. You're only 10. Although set in one location, this movie depicts the crumbling of society norms quite well. It's not always exact exactly the view, but the feeling. It's like a what if film. The ending has one of the very best practical effects I've ever seen. This is. Is this ever. Yeah, this is a scary movie and in my opinion, Joel Patrickis's best film to date.

Okay.

Six Found it helpful. Eight, not so much.

Ten out of ten, I pray is very. I feel like, maybe slightly exaggerated in some points, but glad you like a little bit.

Yeah. Not to be outdone, on January 11th of 2022, the Googie had this.

Oh, boy.

Not the Googie.

The Googie, the fake Atari version of a movie.

What? I don't know.

Let's. Let's hear.

Isn't Googie the name of a classic monsters character?

It was. I can't remember. Remember the context of Googie.

He's like the. Eddie's, like, prankster friend.

I think so.

He's Eddie's friend.

Yeah. That's what making me think this guy's got some. He's gonna say some things I ain't gonna like.

He's only got a few sentences to him. So here it is. Remember when Pac man was fun? Remember when Atari was fun? Remember how horrible Pac man was when it came to Atari?

What?

The Atari version of Pac man was terrible. The Atari 2600. This movie is like that version of Pac Man.

Wow.

Looks good on paper, but not so much when you watch it. A nap would be a better idea. Two found it helpful. Two, not so much. One out of ten.

That was short. Well, yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe one of the shortest reviews we've done.

And I don't even know how that meets the requirement for characters that people are always complaining about.

Yeah, the 100 character limit or something.

Yeah. That doesn't mean it. There's no way.

Maybe he got updated at some point

or he found some loophole. He, like, submitted it through some via text or something like that. Who knows?

He added a bunch of blank spaces and it counted as characters.

Yes. Well, we did it. We got through Relaxer, which means we got through Y2, Y2K, DTF Y2M4, which means we got something very important to do. Boys, Keith is going to bust out that spreadsheet.

Yep.

And we're going to make our movies because we do not. If nothing else, we rank movies. And much like the Bond Month, all four movies, even the Wild Card, fit the theme.

Yeah, it's true.

Which is a Terry thing. Terry did that to us.

I like to do that.

All right, Keith, remind us what we're working with here.

All right, we have Big bad Betty.

Yes.

100 beavers.

Yes.

Hundreds of beavers.

Hundreds.

I'm sorry. Hundreds of beavers. Ape and Relaxer.

Yes.

I can tell you right now, for me, it is hundreds of Beavers, followed by Relaxer, followed by Big Bad Betty, and then Ape.

Wow. Interesting. Okay. Okay.

Interesting. Yeah, that's interesting order, for sure.

Yeah. And it might be one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, I really did not like that.

Wow. Oh, indeed.

Worst than Cat in the Hat.

I mean, we're not. Let's not go to extremes, but. Okay.

It's splitting hairs for Keith.

Yeah. I mean, It's. It's like a 1A 1B type thing, especially.

Think about it. Getting into the dark levels of that. I guess for me, I think my list is a little different than Keith's. I would say Ape is number one.

Wow.

And then I would say Big Bad Betty, number two.

Wow.

And then I'm going hundreds of Beavers. And then I'm going Relaxer. Wow.

That is totally different. It's almost totally wrong. It's flipping.

It's wrong or right. I don't know. You tell me.

My ranking is very similar to Keith's. Very similar. No, it goes Hundreds of Beavers, I think is the best one we watched this week. This month. And then Relaxer and then Ape, and then Big Bad, Bad Betty.

Okay. A little bit different.

And it's not because I dislike. I didn't dislike Big Bad Betty. I just of the other ones, it's the one I like. I. It's not I, I the least. I just like the other ones more, that's all.

Yeah, nothing wrong with that.

It was a good month. Interesting month. We watched interesting movies, which I like.

Yes.

I wish we would have watched Madame Web, but.

Oh, well, that would have been interesting, I think. No, I would. I would have liked to talk about that.

Now we've ranked. We've watched our movies for the month. We've ranked our movies for the month, which is the most important thing that we do. Now we are on to our next month, which is DTF Y2 year two, down to fumble. Year two. M5. Month. Five. Keith, which is a Keith month. What do you got for us?

All right, so I. I started. I did have a. I was kind of.

Are you gonna do this again? Where you talk about what you didn't do? And then I had a. I had

a little bit of a more complicated concept that I kind of came up with. But then I was like, you know what? My role here is not the complicated guy.

I've been hyping this idea up for, like, last two choices. I'm just.

I'm. I'm like. I'm more the, like, straight, right? At you guy. Like picking genres, picking specific things like Bond stuff like that.

Movies that star a man.

Well, but I started looking at what we've done so far this month and we really, like, especially this last month. This year. Yes, this year I was like, man, especially this past month, we really pushed the boundaries of what any movie could be.

Yes.

You know, and even with like the Shaw Brothers movies, like, I think we've done a really good job with that. But I also think we've been a little safe.

We've been safe.

We've been picking.

We've been picking. We've been picking. I mean we've been, we've been picking movies that really would kind of fall into at least one of our.

Well, like, like watched a movie where a guy. It was about a guy sitting on a couch for 90 minutes.

The wheel picked that one. I'm saying like, I'm saying like I said like, we picked martial arts movies and we picked James Bond movies and we, we went back through and picked movies from our childhoods and, and even this one, like you, we had a horror film and things like that.

Before you continue.

Yeah.

Do you realize, Terry, he's just on us and now he's going to, he's going to, he's going to write the ship that is fumbling through film.

No, I am, I am fully in on this as well. Okay. The, the stuff that we've picked so far. I mean, I picked James Bond movies last time I was up.

I like that.

But we're steering towards things that I think we're all very comfortable with.

Okay.

All right.

So that's why for DTF year 2M5, we're doing ROM coms.

I knew that's. Oh really 100 what that was.

And yeah, we're gonna watch When Har Met Sally.

I've never seen When Harry Met Sally.

I probably seen bits and pieces of it. It's. I do believe it's supposed to be like one of the more classic romcoms and that's what we're gonna watch because I, I really think like a lot of stuff that we've kind of watched so far is still stuff like we really, really enjoy and leaves a big chunk of any movie out there of stuff we probably would normally skip over. So we're gonna do romcoms.

As soon as you said, said we've been safe, I'm like, I, I knew the direction you were gonna turn and there it is. And because Keith called himself the rom com guy in the Big Baddie episode, I Did.

You should. You did say that out loud. You did say that out loud.

I'm the rom com guy.

Oh, I don't. I

said it on tape. It's in an episode.

You played your hand.

I. I would say that. I don't think that was real, but last time somebody questioned that, you did provide the tape for it.

It's literally in the episode.

Keith, you said it when they said, like, like I think Derek said that I was a horror guy. And then you chimed in, said, you're the rom com guy.

I said, terry's our resident horror expert. And you said, I'm the rom com guy.

You were leaving clues. Breadcrumbs. Breadcrumbs.

Yeah. All right, boys, we did it. We got through another month. We are successful in completing ndaf, which it's has been a fun month. I don't know if it's my favorite month, but it's been fun.

That's been fun.

All right, well, you know what we gotta do? I mean, we got When Harry Met Sally coming up next.

Yep. How exciting.

Rom com extravaganza.

Yeah.

And that means we got nothing left to do but end this the way we end everything. I must have those power pellets.

I forgot about that guy Egghead. That didn't explain anything.

Thanks for listening to Fumbling through Film. New episodes drop every Thursday. Got feedback or questions? Email [email protected] you can see our films to Fumble before you tumble into the grave and other musings on Letterboxd at Fumble Through Film. The through is T. HRU. You can also follow Keith on Instagram @KG33Lives and on LetterboxdG3030, Terry is on Letterboxd @Terry2099. Derek is on Letterboxd Derek the number nine and then the word nine. All original music is done by the Dr. Dre of Kansas, Terry. So hit him up for them bangers. Our new podcast logo is done by the delightful and talented Sanjay Vicky Nayak. You can find her on Instagram at Ike Stein. That's Einstein with a K in there. We'll see you next week as we keep on Fumbling.