Columbia House: Dirty Dancing (1987)

Gathered together from the cosmic reaches of the universe, here in this great screening room with comfortable recliners, are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled.

Keith!

Or it said it was a stupid, um, AMC intro, the Nicole Kidman AMC thing, but it turns out that Jennifer Grey did the whole thing like years ago.

Terry!

This is the, the fake stuff, and then here's the real deal.

Derek! Oh, oh shit! And the power twins, Zap and Jordan, with their magical lemur snort dedicated Welcome back to Fumbling Their Way Through Movies, one forgotten gem at a time. This week, we totally get put in a corner with 1987's Dirty Dancing. This is Fumbling Through Film.

Turn, turn, down, and lift.

You'll learn that later.

And come on.

Down, twist, and—

Ow! Oi!

Oi! Are you trying to kill me? You gotta concentrate!

Is that your idea of fun? Oh, y—

yes, as a matter of fact, it is. We're supposed to do the show in 2 days. I'm not sure it turns. I'm doing all this to save your ass. What I really want to do is drop you on it. Let's get out of here. Hello and welcome to another one-of-a-kind, genre-defining, brand new episode of Fumbling Through Film, the only show that dares, guaranteed dares, to bring together 3 dudes to talk about movies. These, however, they aren't just any movies.

That's right. We wouldn't just let any movie walk in here.

No, we sure wouldn't. But we would dance with any movie because these are the ones we've missed, overlooked, or feel are simply worth revisiting. And that's any movie.

Or new category, one we put in the corner.

Oh God. Yeah. I can't put any movie in the corner.

No, that's true. You don't do that.

Don't do that. Uh, anyway, my name is Derek and I'm a fumbler. Joining me here in the Fumble Dome where we conveniently have no corners. It is a round room.

It's a dome.

Specifically, specifically so we don't put any film in the corner.

Any film or either one, any of us in a corner.

And it's horrorphobic. Yeah.

Yeah. It's the Prime Minister of Fumbling and Film, but not corners.

Keith. Hey, hey, what's up everybody? KG, fumbler extraordinaire. And, um, in case you didn't know, I'm considered the catch of the county.

The catch of the county. He has 2 hotels.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, well, well, Mr. Fancy Pants.

That other fancy pants is the Dr. Dre of Kansas, Terry.

Hey everybody, it's me. They call me Mr. Fancy Pants himself as well. We're both fancy pants.

You get to the fancy pants of Kansas. Yep.

Yeah, the fancy pants of Kansas. Everybody knows.

Fancy pantsy cancy. That's what they say.

Yeah, that really flows off the tongue.

It does. I was trying to make it rhyme somehow and it just doesn't. Pants and Kansas are just—

they're close to rhyme, but yeah, they're like a— it's like a false rhyme.

Fancy pants ass?

No, not the fancy pants ass. That's— nobody says that about me. Nobody says I'm a pants ass.

Depends who's he talking to.

I don't know what a pants ass is, but I'm not that. I guarantee you.

Fumbler subreddit has that. I think that's a flair.

I'm sorry, I might call somebody that sometime, like pants ass, and see what they do.

What they do is they probably want to fight you or something.

They'd kill me on the spot.

What'd you call me?

You're just like, pants ass.

And then you repeat it and they're like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. Part of me wants to beat you up, part of me wants to hug you. I don't know.

It's a fine line between, uh, compliment and diss.

More about like tone. How do you say pants ass? Oh, hey, pants ass. People might— no, hey, I don't know.

Yeah, they might hug you, kiss you, or fight you. There's 3 options with how you deliver it, I guess.

It's a very tactical word. You have to use it just right. Yeah.

You know, there's tactical words that we have to use just right.

This entirety of the podcast?

The entirety of this podcast. Every week we're using tactical words, so we should tell people what it is they're in for. Every week we watch movies, but not just any movie. See, I don't have this part written down, so that's why I'm all screwed up. Every month one of us chooses a theme, a genre, a guiding light of some sort. of iconic jump and lift dance move.

Yes.

And then every week one of us chooses a movie that adheres to that jump move lift thing.

Iconic jump move thing.

Iconic jump move lift dance thing. I don't know. I'm so uncultured.

We all take turns lifting each other up.

It's very specific that you, that you, that you put the term iconic at the beginning because otherwise it could just be anything.

Yes, you're right. That, that move was iconic. And I bet you many people have gotten hurt trying to recreate that move.

My shoulder's never been the same.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, anyway, uh, we each adhere to that. And then on the 4th week, we truly fumble. We let the wheel pick a movie for us. But anyway, This month, it's DTF, Down to Fumble. Y2, year 2. M10, that M still stands for month.

Oh, shoot.

And that's a me month. And without the long story, I provided a 1992 Columbia House advert and we just chose movies based upon that advert. The first week I took the 19th, oh God, I don't have the number in front of me. It don't matter. Something like a 7th. 7-digit number from 1951, The Day the Earth Stood Still. Week 2 was Keith week, and he chose—

Uh, the oldest movie we've watched yet, The Wizard of Oz.

Just wants to rub it in our face.

Lord that over us, Terry, and just, you know.

Oh my God.

No, I don't think of it as lording over. Think of it as setting a bar.

No, it's lording.

It's a, it's like a limbo bar. Who can get below it? Yep, yep, yep. I'll do it.

Or a high jump bar, you know.

Actually, that movie might predate the Fosbury flop for all I know, for jumping over high bars. And then that means this week is dub 3. That's a Terry week. Terry, you looked hard, long and hard over that advertisement.

That's right. I've really pondered all my choices. I thought about it deep and in, in depth, you know, I was really thinking, man, what would be the perfect movie to get from Columbia House and keep forever? Because I'm never gonna pay them.

Um, and you chose—

I chose number 4955072, Dirty Dancing.

Dirty Dancing from 1987, I believe.

Uh, that is correct.

Wowee. Before we talk about our viewing of Dirty Dancing, before we do a deep dive into Dirty Dancing from 1987, did any of us have any previous knowledge, history, and/or experience with number 4955072, Dirty Dancing from 1987?

Yeah, it's got iconic lifts. I mean, of course.

It does.

Yeah. I've heard of it. I think I thought it was a different movie, but that's okay. I think I thought it was Footloose.

Yeah, I mean, similar theme.

Kinda, sure. Yeah, I had seen it one time previously and relatively recently, like within 10 years, I think. Okay, but I do have a long history of this movie, and we'll get into that later, probably. Keith, you and I, we gotta relax. We're gonna sit here and listen to Terry Regalis with tales of Dirty Dancing because he's gonna take us closer than we could ever imagine to Dirty Dancing. Another patent-pending Fumbler's Deep Dive.

Per the IMDb synopsis, spending the summer at a Catskills resort with her family, Frances Baby Houseman falls in love with the camp's dance instructor, Johnny Castle. Mm-hmm. So this movie is directed by Emile Ardolina. So this guy, he's done a lot of TV specials, a few movies, uh, a documentary. He directed a documentary about Jocks to Amboys, which I'd never heard of before, but he's a famous American ballet star who did some dancing in 1950s films, and then he became a dance instructor in New York City. So this documentary is all about this guy.

What'd you say his name was?

Jocks to Amboys.

Okay, I think he said he did a documentary about Jocks to Amboys. I thought it was like this transition of jocks to amboys. I don't know what an amboy is, uh, and I thought we were gonna learn about that, but I guess—

No, no, you're not gonna learn about that. At all costs, I'll never teach you what that is.

No, I don't. Good.

Um, after Dirty Dancing, he directed a movie called Chances Are. Okay, it stars Robert Downey Jr.

Hmm.

And Cybill Shepherd.

Hmm. So this movie is about— Weird combination.

It's about a reincarnated man who realizes that he's fallen in love with—

What?

The way you said that.

Uh-huh. It was like, gather round, children, I'm about to tell you a story about a reincarnated man. Yeah, I am about to tell you a story about a reincarnated man.

But anyways, this story is a little odd. So it's a reincarnated man who realizes that he's fallen in love with his daughter from his previous life.

Oh no, no, no, no.

That's weird, right? That's a little awkward. Yeah, I've got questions about this.

Yeah, but all right.

He tries to ruin the relationship he has with his daughter before the angels erase his memories. Okay, so I don't know what that means. Like, I tried to watch the trailer, did not elaborate on the details. So I guess he died and his soul went to another living man.

So he's reincarnated not from like birth, but like he took over somebody's life.

I guess his soul went into another person's soul and it happened to be the guy that his daughter was dating or something.

It's closer to like possession than it is.

Yeah, this is more like a ghost story and then the angels are gonna show up and just like erase his memory.

Sounds like a different take on, uh, was it Oldboy?

Oh my God.

Oh, Keith.

Keith. Oh, don't make me think about Oldboy. Um, it's a good movie. Uh, but very good movie.

Just don't make me think about the remake of Oldboy.

God, please don't make me think about that. Um, I don't know what the deal is with this. I don't know how it all works. There's a lot of rules, I would assume. So you have a time limit. Why not just let him— why not just avoid his daughter till his memory's wiped? Because then he doesn't exist anymore anyways. Yeah, maybe he didn't like the guy and then he got reincarnated. Somebody didn't like it. I don't think it's really reincarnation though if you get Put into another guy's body that's still alive. That's just weird.

No, it's not reincarnation at all.

Unless his daughter was really young and nope, got reincarnated and then like twenty years later. I don't know. Um, he also directed 1991's The Nutcracker, starring Macaulay Culkin as the titular Nutcracker.

Oh my god! I've seen that.

You have?

I didn't know that was a thing.

It's a classic tale, Keith.

I'm I'm familiar with The Nutcracker.

I just didn't know there was a Macaulay Culkin version.

The reason I've seen it is because my youngest daughter was obsessed with Macaulay Culkin because she loves Home Alone. And she, I am not exaggerating when I say she watched Home Alone almost every day for like the month of November last year, 2 years ago.

Oh, recently.

Yeah, and then she saw that Macaulay Culkin was in The Nutcracker, and she's like, we have to watch this.

Okay, we have to.

And I watched it because he's gonna— because he's gonna do a bunch of booby traps.

Yeah, she, she was in love with Macaulay Culkin for a little while.

So what's your review? Is it good?

No. Oh, did she watch My Girl?

No, I'm not gonna expose her to My Girl. She's 9. She was 7 at the time, Keith. Come on.

God, yeah, my girl's too dark for that.

Apparently it is, Terry.

I haven't seen it, so I don't know. I do know that he gets stung by a bee or something.

Um, yeah, that, that, or something like that.

Yeah. This, you can tell me then, Derek, because it looked to me like this is like a stage production. Like, is it, is it like terribly boring theater? Like Performance that's just filmed and turned into a movie?

No, I think they did a stage production specifically to film. I don't know if it was in front of an audience.

Weird.

But I can tell you it's very boring.

Emile Ardellino, whatever his name is, he directed that. So you knew you had— you already had some experience with this guy.

That's great.

Yes, but I'd known What would you have done?

I don't know.

Burned your Columbia house.

I would scratch that one off before I sent you guys.

Then there's a mysterious missing movie. That made me want to pick it more. So this was written by Eleanor Bergstein. She's only got 5 writing credits on IMDb, including Dirty Dancing, Dirty Dancing the series from 1998, and the Dirty Dancing TV movie from 2017. So that's 3 out of her 5 writing credits are Dirty Dancing. related. Wow. And 2 of those are just because she created the original characters. Her first writing credit was a movie called It's My Turn. It's about a high-strung math professor who goes to her father's wedding and falls in love with her new stepmom's son. Uh-oh.

Hmm.

According to the trailer, it's a funny love story about the right time to fall in love with the wrong man.

What makes him the wrong man?

Well, you see, they're opposites.

Oh, oh, shit.

I heard, I heard those, I heard those attract though.

See that? Yeah, exactly. This is a dangerous combo because she's very like by the books, never did anything wrong. This guy, he's a loose cannon. He's a little wild.

He's a loose cannon.

He's a loose cannon. You never know what he'll do. He's also played by Michael Douglas.

Um, the loosest of cannons.

Yes, he's a, he's a real bad boy.

Um, Michael Douglas, when was this movie made?

Before Dirty Dancing.

Michael Douglas would have been in like his 30s. Like, so I'm picturing like This is—

they're not young. Okay, it's fine. You know what, Michael Douglas, he was— he did not look young in it. Let's just— let's just put it at that. He's probably mid-30s.

Um, he was born in 1944.

He's always been kind of old looking.

That put him like in his mid-40s in the '80s. This movie concerns me. It's My Turn.

It's My Turn. I don't like the, the name of it either.

No.

Yeah, I'm not sure how the film will play out. I'm not gonna watch it. Um, but so you think, unless I have to, obviously. I think it's free on YouTube, so that's exciting.

Very exciting.

She also wrote as well as directed a movie called Let It Be Me. So this is another dancing film, going back to the moneymaker. Yep. Yeah, a man named Gabe, he's engaged to Emily, and he's watching a pair of dancers through a dance studio window, and he is lured in because he wants lessons for the wedding. The problem is he starts to get a spark with his dance teacher.

Oh no.

No.

Things take a turn when Emily also starts taking lessons. So I'm guessing there's also a little spark with her and her dance teacher.

Is it the same dance teacher?

No, I think there's 2 dance teachers.

Oh, because that'd make it interesting.

See, the problem is there's no trailer for this thing, so how am I supposed to tell you? Patrick Stewart's in it, I know that.

Is he one of the dance teachers?

Some, some guy named John. I don't know his character. I don't know how he's involved in all of this. But you can watch it and find out if you want.

I kind of want to see what he does because this would have been after Excalibur and after Dune.

After Dune, he went to this.

Wow.

Yeah. So I'm assuming it's then. I'm just curious now. And before Next Generation.

And definitely before Professor X.

Yes. Way before that.

So this film stars Patrick Swayze as Johnny Castle. Keith's number one actor.

No, not true.

Okay, you got really angry about that there, Keith.

I, I like a few Patrick Swayze vehicles.

We'll see if you recognize any of these, Keith. So, uh, he's been in some notable things like Red Dawn.

Love it.

Yep, see, we're already on to a good start here. Movie where Russia invades American town in the mountains.

That movie's awesome.

There was, of course, the remake of it.

That's not so awesome.

Oh, okay. Well, he was also in Steel Dawn, which is not related to Red Dawn, but it's called Steel Dawn. Um, it's set in a post-apocalypse. It's about a warrior. He's wandering the desert and he comes across a poor village being terrorized by an evil gang that's trying to steal the water supply.

Oh, is Steel S-T-E, 2 E's, or 1 E and an A?

E and an A, unfortunately.

Is it really?

Yes, they want to steal their water supply.

They want to steal— so steal Dawn is S-T-E-A-L?

Oh no, S-T-E-E-L. 2 E's in the title, but—

oh, okay.

The gang is not trying to S-T-E-E-L their water, they're trying to S-T-E-A-L their water.

I'm all confused now. I wish they were trying to steal Dawn. But steal the water.

Yes, yes. Too bad they weren't reversed. Yeah.

God damn it.

Well, luckily this, uh, this village, they should be happy because the warrior, he's trained in the ancient arts of combat using swords. So I think that's—

Steel swords?

I think—

Or do they steal swords?

I think that's the—

Do they steal steel swords?

Oh, oh, I bet it's that because I guarantee he didn't just Make that sword. He probably stole it. Yeah, seemed like a pretty similar concept to maybe Mad Max.

Oh no!

I thought you were gonna say the Dirty Dancing.

No, could be. Lone wanderer in the desert, post-apocalypse. There's like gangs roaming. The only thing different is he's got a sword. Mad Max, he don't do swords.

So no, he does not.

At least as far as I know. Makes it unique in that way, I guess. He's also in a movie called Tiger Warsaw.

Keith, I do. I'm not familiar with that one.

No, it's a deep cut. Okay. Uh, so he played Tiger Warsaw in Tiger Warsaw. Tiger Warsaw is a man who shot his father and disabled him many years ago.

It runs in the Warsaw family.

Yes, the Warsaw curse. After, after 15 years post-shooting, he comes home to reckon with his family and seek forgiveness. I don't know the reasoning behind why he shot his dad. I don't— was it in defense? Was it like he had like, you know, PTSD or something? I do not know.

Accidental, I hope.

Maybe it was accidental. Either way, it happened, and he's come home to like reckon with everything. Cool title, but I was kind of expecting something a little more like action movie oriented, like Lone Wolf McQuade, you know, kind of has that goofy name. I thought maybe Tiger Warsaw was some sort of like war hero who's gonna take it to all the bad guys, you know.

Yeah, a loose cannon.

I didn't expect— he seems like he is definitely a loose cannon, but not in the way I expected, where he shot his dad, disabled him. I don't know. I don't know. Patrick Swayze was also in one of the greatest action films of all time, Point Break. Yeah, from 1991, not the remake.

No, not the remake.

So this is about an FBI agent who goes undercover to track down a bunch of surfers who are also bank robbers. Yep, it's awesome. The premise sounds kind of stupid, and is it? Nah, it's not actually as stupid as it seems. Uh, I really like this movie. It's got a lot of great moments. Patrick Swayze is amazing in the film. Um, Keanu Reeves is also in it. He's not so amazing, but that's okay. Patrick Swayze is good enough. You know, it's pretty much a must-watch. I really like this movie. It's really good. Um, he was also in Road House.

Another excellent movie.

Patrick Swayze plays like a bouncer.

What about the Road House remake?

Not, not nearly as good.

It's like a theme of this episode.

Pretty, pretty poor in the remake. But the original one is— I actually do really like the movie a lot. It's cheesy. It's cheesy as hell. But I really do enjoy that movie.

I've heard it's good. I've heard it's good. I've never seen it. I heard there's a cool 4K of it out there. Kind of want it. This film also stars Jennifer Grey as Baby Houseman. She's been in some big stuff too. She was also in Red Dawn, Keith, with Patrick Swayze. Keith.

But not the remake though, right?

No, not, not the Chris, not the, uh, Chris Hemsworth remake.

No.

Well, she played, uh, Jeannie Bueller in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where a boy named Ferris Bueller takes the day off, I assume.

Um, I'm sorry, have you never seen this?

I have never seen that. Never.

All right, I, I've kept my I haven't seen that to myself because I know Keith would get real indignant.

Oh, you can't tell me you've never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

I have seen Ferris Bueller, but I haven't seen Road House or Point Break.

Okay, you ever seen Point Break?

No. Roadhouse, I'm not surprised by.

He has seen Steel Dawn though, and Tiger Warsaw as well. So she was also in an episode of The Equalizer TV show.

Okay.

And a bunch of TV movies she was in as well. There was also a movie called Red Meat that she was in. Uh, not to be confused with the remake. Red Meat, the remake is still, hadn't— is still, uh, in pre-production I think, so we don't know much details, but I really hope Jennifer Grey has as a cameo. The original Red Meat is a little odd. The synopsis on IMDb is, once a month, Stefan and Chris meet up with their buddies to go to the gym, eat red meat, and talk about girls. Each man has had his share of women loving them, using them, and leaving them. Or it's the testosterone talking.

Sounds absolutely awful.

It sounds really bad. Yeah. Could not find a trailer easily, and I did find the full movie on YouTube, but I didn't really feel like scrubbing through all of it to figure out what's going on. So. I'm gonna guess, if I had to guess, it's one of those movies with a bunch of like, uh, vignettes of them like telling their tales.

That's what it sounds like to me too. And it sounds like a woe is me, I'm a shitty person, why don't people love me sort of movies.

Yes, I think it's maybe supposed to be satirical because it says it's a comedy and it's directed by Alison Burnett. I don't know who that is, but Oh, I don't know if that's a man. I thought it was a woman. Never mind. It could just be really bad. I was like, oh, maybe it's like an interesting, like, female perspective on the, like, testosterone, like, you know, with that kind of thing. No, it might not be. Who knows? Yeah, I did not look into this at all because I was like, this sounds just weird. Uh, there was also a movie she was in called Red Belt.

She's in a lot of red movies.

I know, isn't that interesting? It's the Red Trilogy.

Dawn, Meat, and Belt.

It's a really good trilogy, actually.

Very—

has a lot of variety, at least. Um, so this is about like a down-on-his-luck martial arts guy. He doesn't really like fighting for competition. Uh, he gets this fancy job as like martial arts coordinator on a film, but he gets entrenched with a bunch of like drama that forces him to fight.

Of course it does.

Tim Allen is in this. He does not play the martial arts guy. I thought that's what was gonna happen, but he actually plays some sort of Hollywood guy.

Tim Allen's in this movie? Yeah, I guarantee it's amazing.

Amazing.

Yeah, it's gotta be, right? Um, I think the deal is this guy's trying to help this person, this woman, get out of debt because she's being attacked by loan sharks and stuff. So he gets involved in it some way, somehow, and Tim Allen's there too. So yeah, must be good. Do you want some fun facts about this movie?

Hell yeah, I do.

Yes, we do.

I only got a few, but I have some, so that's fun. Apparently Jennifer Grey had to be convinced by Patrick Swayze to star in the movie because she did not like him at all from their time filming Red Dawn.

Mm-hmm.

Their test screens started out strong, but as the film progressed, they just got more hostile with each other and were like arguing right before each take. And so you could kind of sense this energy. Filmmakers got concerned because their chemistry was off, so they showed them footage from their test screenings to them like, just do this again. And that helped them Rekindle their acting.

Just act like you like each other.

Exactly. They had to like show them an example of like, see here, you guys liked each other.

Like, oh yeah.

Patrick Swayze apparently hated the line, nobody puts baby in a corner, but he did it with quoting IMDb with all of his strength. Uh-huh. Yeah, he's like, I guess it was that difficult for him to say that out loud. It was kind of a weird line. Also, Patrick Swayze insisted on doing all his own stunts, and because of this, he hurt himself while filming that scene where they're balancing on the log. He fell off that log and it ended up hurting his knee so bad they had to drain it of fluids because it was swelling really, really bad.

So— Good. I was, I was thinking it was some other injury he could have got.

Yeah, he could have wrecked his— maybe that's what they saw on that one.

Yeah. Might have to drain that too, as far as I know. Oh, it might have been a little too swelled up. It was noticeable on film, so they had to drain it.

My scrotum is so swollen.

Like, inflating like a water balloon.

He's gonna wear hammer pants around.

The scene cuts and this is him with a slightly different pair of pants that are just way poofier.

Yeah, why the crotch is so low in those pants? Let me be. And he's walking like really weirdly gingerly.

Cowboy. He's on like a little cart and she's pulling him around. But yeah, those are my 3 fun facts. That's all I have.

Oh, oh wait, there's more.

Is this a fun fact or not? I don't know, but my DVD had a special option to watch an introduction to the movie by Jennifer Grey herself.

Oh wow, did you watch it?

I sure did. And all it said was, welcome to the DVD of Dirty Dancing. I hope you enjoy the show. And that was it.

It wasn't personalized?

No. Well, it was not like, hey, hi Terry, thanks for renting this from your local library.

Could you imagine if they did that? And for like the couple hundred people that actually it affected, how meaningful that would be for them?

Yeah.

So they like picked like one name and were like, just wait until.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Or like you could like scroll through a list of names, click your name. And then it was like she recorded like 20, you know, 200,000 different versions.

Or it said it was a stupid, um, AMC intro, the Nicole Kidman AMC thing, but it turns out that Jennifer Grey did the whole thing like years ago.

Yeah, I just thought it would, you know, maybe I thought maybe she'd give me some context in the film, maybe like tell me a little bit about her, about her experience on the film, anything of, of substance perhaps. But to me it looked like she was just in her backyard and they like got her for 5 minutes and she just said that and they left. That's a fun fact. I was very disappointed with the intro. Which is the fun fact?

There's the intro thing, or that you were very disappointed with it?

I think both equally fun.

They're both really fun.

Yeah, I see. I feel much closer to the movie and you, Terry.

Oh wow, okay. Well, let's see, you know, maybe my next deep dive I do, I'll try to make a little more personal again.

Speaking of personal things, Derek, I think you teased something about a personal reference Oh boy. Yeah.

So this movie came out when I was in 7th grade or the summer between 6th and 7th, maybe. And we had an art teacher at my little town school who was infatuated with this movie and the soundtrack. So she was also the art and slash music teacher.

Okay.

Of course, we had to sing the soundtrack to this movie almost every day. Like, we had to learn the songs.

And there's Hungry Eyes.

Hungry Eyes.

You had to sing this?

Yes, I am not kidding.

A 7-year-old singing Hungry Eyes.

Not 7-year-olds, 7th graders. So we were like pre-teens, right?

Still.

And she was, she was very impressed with the fact that one of the songs, uh, She's Like the Wind, Was performed by— written and performed by Patrick Swayze himself.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I do believe he had a whole album out.

Well, he did that song and it appears in the soundtrack. It's also on the soundtrack. And that's the one, that's one of the bigger ones we had to learn, uh, for that.

Wow.

So, you know, 7th and 8th grade years of like, I'm— it would span 2 years. Where we had to do the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

So you knew this like music inside out?

Yes, I was singing along to She's Like the Wind.

First year we learned the words to song, the next year we learned the dance moves.

But what's remarkable is, so now I, I have kids and they've gone— one's gone through grade school and junior high, and the other one's in— that's about that same age now. And every year they have like a musical showcase that we have to go to the school for, and they all sing songs. And I feel like we had to sing some Dirty Dancing songs, like on a stage for our parents.

Wow.

Don't quote me on that. It might be one of those things where my brain's trying to save me from embarrassment.

Give you like a reason for why you practiced the song so many times as a kid.

Yeah, but we listened to this soundtrack and had to sing the songs. Quite regularly, at least 2 times a week, maybe 3.

Dang. Wow.

For 2 years, my friends.

That's a lot.

Yes.

Did you give your family like a little rendition once the movie came on, singing along with all the songs?

Heavens no.

So that— oh Jesus. Uh, so that movie, or I mean that song, it went to number 1 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary charts.

Uh-huh.

Number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100.

It was big stuff.

Apparently Patrick Swayze tried to get the producers of the movie Youngblood to use it and they, they rejected it. But, uh, he played it for the producers of Dirty Dancing and they loved it. Uh, and they, they went ahead and, and put it into the movie, the music video directed by David Fincher.

Wow.

That's amazing.

That's really cool.

It's also the only contemporary song on the soundtrack.

Yes, because all of the rest of it's like old, like '60s music. Yeah, I didn't know Patrick Swayze had it in him. Look at you, Keith, you got all the facts being part of the fan club.

Keith pulled out the 1994 newsletter. He's looking at all the milk crates.

Little archive just right next to his desk, so he has them on hand just in case.

Yeah, he's just thumbing through them all.

Here it is.

He pulls it out, pulls it out the bag and board.

Certified as a 9.0 out of 10. He broke it open just for us. Wow.

Correct. He cracked it open, huh?

I knew I'd have to one day, and this was the perfect opportunity.

Well, I think we're at the point where we need to talk about our viewing Of Dirty Dancing from 1987, number 4955072. That's right, for those scoring at home. Well, Terry, did it live up to your expectations? I mean, you're the one that chose it.

Huh, did you have expectations?

Well, he thought it was Dirty— he thought it was Flash— or not Flashdance, he thought it was, uh, Footloose. Footloose.

There's a song that I really like, I think it's from Footloose. I could be getting that mixed up too, but there's a song, I know it's from a different like dancing movie And it's in Hot Rod, and I really thought it was from Hot Rod this whole time. And then like I realized that they were spoofing a different movie, and I thought it was Dirty Dancing, but I think it might be Footloose now because that song never showed up, and I was really excited to hear that song. Um, that was disappointing. But you know, this movie is interesting. It's not as a— You know what? The dancing is dirty, okay? Hell yeah, they're grinding up on each other, they're getting in there, but it's not as dirty as I expected the entirety of the film. I was worried, I was— because the opening credits are very like zooming in on people just grinding into each other. I was like, oh boy, what am I gonna watch? And then it kind of— it's not all about that. There's a little more to it than that.

There's a lot of other dirty stuff going on too at that place.

It kind of reminded me of that other movie we watched that I think you picked it, Keith. The high school, high school one. What was that movie?

Baskmont Times at Ridgemont High.

Yeah.

Yeah. It reminded me of that one a little bit. Like a coming-of-age film, pretty much.

It is definitely that. And speaking of age, we need to address the elephant in the room. Uh, she's in high school. He's like a grown man.

Yeah, that did. That was kind of strange. I think she just graduated high school.

I had to look it up.

She's yeah, I did too.

Canonically seventeen.

Oh really?

He is twenty-five. Whoa!

Okay, that is not good.

Yeah. Now I don't know how old Patrick Swayze is at the time of filming this, but like she's twenty-five.

That information too. Yeah, she's she's twenty-five and he's thirty something.

Yeah, there there's. 7 years apart or something like that as well in like real life.

Interesting. Yeah, that's, that's a little problematic.

Yeah, I saw someplace where they said they were the same amount of years apart in real life as they are in the movie. Um, but like, yeah, I, well, plus, I mean, he's hanging out with just a bunch of younger people anyhow. You know, if his character's only supposed to be 25, like all the people he's hanging out with there. Where's this take place again?

Some resort. I don't know where.

It's like upper New York, upper state New York or something like that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Nobody really questions this at all ever in this movie. And I did for the first time. And I, I mean, I haven't seen this movie a ton, but I questioned that for the first time watching it now. After a while I'm just like, wait a minute, he's significantly older than, than her.

Uh, yeah. 'Cause he's kind of making fun of the other workers there, like the busboys and the waiters and stuff. 'Cause they're all like younger than him and he's like, mm-hmm. So you guys don't even know what you're doing. I'm the real deal or whatever. And it's like, yeah, he's, he's, he is like older than even most of the other people besides—

Yes, he's been doing it. He always does the final dance.

And I do believe at multiple different resorts throughout the area because he goes over to whatever the other place, the other one is.

Yeah, he, so he does all these resorts and with his Brooklyn accent. Is that what his accent is? What would you? What would what what New York borough is he from? You think?

Oh man, there's so many boroughs to choose from.

I don't think he's doing any accent. I think that's how he talks in every movie.

You think that's how? I don't know. Is that how?

Isn't he Australian?

Patrick Swayze?

Mm-hmm.

No, I don't think so.

No, he's not. But he's not doing any kind of accents.

You don't think? No.

I think that is just how he talks.

Yeah. Patrick Swayze is from Houston, Texas.

Oh, he is not Australian.

Well, I mean, that's Australia of America. It pretty much is.

Is he Australian?

Is he doing Australian in Point Break? Is that why you're thinking that?

Maybe.

Is he?

Maybe he is. I don't think he is, but I don't know where I got that in my head that he's Australian. Maybe he's got a weird accent in that dude. I just assumed that's why. That's just how he talks, I think. Yes, that Texas accent coming through in his Midwest attempt at But, you know, it's just weird, like, uh, where you're like, your accent slowly shifts where you're like, when you move somewhere. I think it's like a weird blend.

Well, here's the AI overview. Patrick Swayze did not use a specific regional dialect in Dirty Dancing, instead speaking with a generic, slightly rough working-class American accent suited for his character Johnny Castle.

The working-class accent.

Yeah.

I mean, 'cause he's not necessarily supposed to be from there like the rest of 'em. He's the dancing guy who comes through.

Yeah. The rest of them, the rest of them are fancy pants as they're going to college and doing all this stuff.

Mm-hmm.

Not him.

So one thing I, I, I, I guess I didn't understand, it's like, so the guy owns a bunch of hotels, Mr. Kellerman?

Yes.

And then is this like his own personal place that he invites people he knows every year to come up and hang?

I don't think he invites 'em. I just think it's very expensive.

I think it's a, like a vacation place.

Yeah. It's a vacation place for rich people. That's why I think it's like in the Hamptons or something like that.

But it, but it's like, it's his, it's not like one of his hotels. It's actually like a place that he still kind of treats his own. No, it's his guy.

I think, I think he owns it. It's like a resort.

Yeah. It's his hotel.

Okay. It is. Okay. So I kept, I wasn't sure if it was that or if it was like, like land that he owned. And then like, even if the people came—

It just says summer getaway.

No, no. Like, like even, yeah. Yes. That like he invited, like as a thing, like he would invite people to come up and stay there that he was, even if they were paying for it themselves. Right. But like he'd invite like, you know, the, the doctor who helped save his life or certain people like that he knew as like showing off a bit. Like it's his resort, but like, does he like, close it down a specific time just for like his guests to come up?

I think he just invites the, you know, it's like, oh, this doctor helped me out as a friend favor. I'm letting him stay at my, you know, like it's, I think he's just being friendly.

Yeah.

I'm sure they sell the bed.

I think a bunch of rich people, they run in their same circles and it just so happens he's the doctor and he's probably saved a bunch of their lives because he's probably at the end, he's like, he's like, we've seen it all. We were here during the Depression and blah, blah, blah. And we had no meat, you know, like he's run this hotel.

Mm-hmm.

For this resort for a long time.

He probably— they probably come here every summer or whatever to like come hang out, and so he just knows all these people from that.

Yeah, and I doubt it's by invitation. I think you just have to be rich.

Okay.

That's who these people are.

I thought, I thought maybe it was like people like in his main like circle of—

I think they became that way.

That he—

Yeah, because they're all rich. Yeah, they all have that in common.

Yeah, I don't think he's like— it's an exclusive. It's exclusive in terms of price, but I think if you got the money, you Yep.

Because it also has like, it's got like a summer camp feel to it as well. Like, you know, Newman shows up right away and he's like, we've got all these different things going on. I was like, they barely got out of the car and he's like, come on, there's a dance class.

It's a resort. They got all sorts of itineraries, activities.

Yeah.

And they got, uh, like a musical thing they do every year to close down the season. It's Labor Day, right? Is that what they said? So it's the official end of summer. Labor Day. So it's like they all gotta go back to school. The kids do.

That's true. Gotta go join the Peace Corps, or you gotta do whatever you're gonna do.

Or the last week of summer activities, and it's at this resort. There's people there all summer, is my guess.

Some ladies who are there for weeks at a time while their husbands show up for weekends.

Banging the help.

Yeah, I mean, it seems like even that guy gives that speech at one time. He goes, even if the You know, even if the daughters are, you know, not so great looking, you gotta do what you can for these people. Anything they ask.

Well, I mean, even at the end, it's like, listen, I got a poker game. Here's $100. Make sure my wife gets a dance lesson.

Yeah. Yeah.

He knows what the dance lesson is.

Oh yeah, he does thoroughly. Yeah.

Yeah. He knows what's going on.

Meanwhile, like at the one time, like Patrick Swayze is breaking down. He's like, look, they, I'm over here at this one. I'm over at the other place. These ladies are, they're Putting their, their room keys in my pockets every chance they get. You know, I think one time they're like, somebody gave me diamonds. What the fuck?

They're rich, they're just giving them stuff.

A bunch of rich people doing whatever the hell they want. Surprise, surprise, that's what rich people do.

And I like his, uh, kind of perspective about all these people. I feel like Patrick Swayze, like, he's got this, like, yeah, just hatred for them. Which makes sense. He's been around for so long, but like yeah, like even judges the chick. What's your face?

Jennifer Grey, baby. Yeah, yeah.

At first, he's very like harsh to her about oh, you just asked your daddy for help. You know that kind of thing. Like yeah, but she did. But like yeah, he's kind of he's downplaying all the like the yeah. He just has this like built-in disdain for that culture, I guess.

Yeah, which you kind of do in that situation.

Yeah, rightfully so.

And I and I think he's not the only one.

I mean, like.

That one waiter guy who the sister's trying to, you know, potentially hook up with, you know, like he doesn't seem to care about any of these feelings. There's a bunch of rich people here. He's like, I'm doing what I can to make them all happy. And then, you know, hopefully somebody hands me an envelope full of cash for my, uh, you know, to go to the med school.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I can't tell if I would have fun at this place or not.

No, I wouldn't.

Like the line dance thing right away at the beginning, I was like, oh my God, that looks so horrible.

I did like the, uh, contrast of how lame all this stuff is. Like, all these old people, like rich people, are doing it, and then like you finally see what like, yeah, Patrick Swayze and his crew, and like, wow. Like, they do a good job of like differentiating like the— this is the, the fake stuff, and then here's the real deal. Yeah, because it looks bad. I'm like, that— I just, I would hate to be line dancing or doing whatever with these people. Just singing that song at the end. Oh God.

Now, can we, can we address like the real elephant in the room here of this? There's 2 people who are like on a crime spree.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Like, I, I don't know where, like the most interesting thing of the entire movie suddenly pops up.

That's not what the movie was about though.

Oh, it doesn't matter. It's still the most interesting thing. These 2 old people are going—

You thought that was the most interesting thing? I like I don't know. I mean, I think it was, it was weirdly superfluous just thrown in there.

It kind of showed up and they addressed it and it was over. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

They're like, oh, they found, they found them. They had the wallets plus all this stuff from the other place. Yeah. They did, they did fingerprint tests after, you know, the glasses that they drank out of and they've been doing this all summer long. I was, I did not remember that at all. And I was amazed by that.

Well, cuz it wasn't in the movie at all.

They didn't set it up.

Yeah.

No. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, there's like this cool thing going on here. I'm like, what?

The old people stealing wallets?

There's crimes happening throughout the entire thing and they just throw it in there. It's just like, eh, well, you know, we think Johnny did it. She's like, no, I was fucking him. He couldn't have been doing it.

Keith, that's very serious.

Meanwhile, I saw those people over. I saw those people over at the other, at the other resort too. It's gotta be them. And it's like, oh, she's possible.

Now she did mention when they do the— it's like, I thought it was all up when we saw so-and-so.

Yes.

It turns out those people, they're the wallet thieves.

And they're not gonna say nothing cuz they don't want people to know they were at the other resort too.

Yeah.

And the only reason anybody's turned in is because that, that guy who got his wallet stolen, his wife wanted to bang, uh, Patrick Swayze and instead saw her leaving, you know, his bungalow instead. Yeah.

Johnny Castle. No relation to Frank Castle that I know.

No, no. Or Frank Cancel. Either one. Could be his cousin. It's all in the MCU.

The other thing is that whole, nobody puts baby in the corner. Yeah. I thought I remembered there being, I don't know, some kind of argument or something. And they were like, she wasn't literally in a corner when he says that. He just walks up and she's sitting there. Nobody puts baby in the corner. She's at the 3rd seat at the table. What do you want?

Which was in the corner.

She doesn't want to be in the corner.

She needs to be in the spotlight.

And she was metaphorically in the corner too, where she did everything she could and she still got punished for it.

Yeah.

It's weird because she's actually just sitting there and he walks up and there's no other talk with anybody else. He's just like, nobody puts her in the corner. Come on, let's go.

That's a weird line, but— It is.

Yeah. But I mean, it's almost as iconic as the dance Move thing in here, and it's, it's all the same scene, but just, it's weird that like he just walks up and she's just sitting there in the corner. It wasn't like anything else like connected to it.

He's finally gonna do his thing. He's gonna fight back against the system. He's gonna do what he wants.

And the way he knows how to dance.

Yes. Yeah, it's all thanks to her for inspiring him.

Yeah.

Wow.

It was the real Dirty Dancing all along, was in your heart.

And in the corner too.

No, that was the clean dancing in the corner. We gotta get out of that corner.

Get out of that clean dancing corner.

Yep.

Or dancing with Mr. Clean in the corner. Don't do that either.

Oh, don't dance with him. He would be good at the lifts though.

Big upper body strength.

He would just— he might crush you on accident.

Yeah, rips through that shirt, that tight white tee that Mr. Clean's known for.

Yeah, but he— but he's got it. But he has it all nice and, and, you know, sparkling clean. But you go to run, you're gonna slip on like the floor somewhere and it's too clean.

It's way too clean.

You slip, you hurt yourself, bam, it's over.

Floor's clean enough to eat off of, but not— it's too clean to Dirty Dance on.

He touches you with those chemically clean hands, they're just— they're burning your skin because they're covered in bleach and other stuff.

Mr. Clean has like superpowers. He's like corrosive.

Yeah, corrosive cleaning power. I think so. After decades of cleaning Yeah, maybe his hands are like made of that like magic sponge and they just start scraping by a radioactive mop. Hmm, there's worse powers to have.

The powers of being clean. Yeah, there's a lot worse powers to have.

It's kind of like Radioactive Man or whatever. He has to wear the big suit. Mr. Clean should be wearing that suit because he's very dangerous, but because he's so clean.

Yeah.

Too clean.

That's fine.

I would. I'd still dance with him. The ass, I guess.

Yeah, I can't resist his charms.

I'm not gonna say no. Not to him.

Not to Mr. Clean.

Yeah, Mr. Boyhood Idol goes. Mr. Clean goes to tickle your armpit. You're not gonna laugh at it.

Your boyhood idol is Mr. Clean? Yes, I looked up to Mr. Clean. You know what? When I knew if I saw his face that everything was gonna be okay. No.

No, I'm picturing that, that silly dance move that she kept laughing at, but I'm picturing it's Mr. Clean and Derek.

Yeah.

The first 50 times, it's, I'm very ticklish, Keith.

Mm-hmm. He doesn't wanna touch you too hard with those, those uber clean hands that will burn your skin.

Yeah.

Nope.

It's the only way he can touch you softly.

Mm-hmm. It's almost too soft.

How have we missed this? We're talking about Mr. Clean, but the movie's called Dirty Dancing. Would have been totally different if it was Mr. Clean in it.

This could have called Mr. Clean Dancing.

The, the Mr.'s in parentheses at the beginning.

The parenthetical Mr. Mhm.

Yes, they could do a spoof of this, Clean Dancing.

Mhm.

I'm sure they—

somebody's tried.

People have thought of it. They've tried, but they couldn't get the rights to Mr. Clean.

Yeah, he's not—

oh yeah, the rights to Dirty Dancing, no problem. Mr.

Clean rights Well, that's all parody. Parody's fine.

Parody, it's— there's a law protecting it, I do believe.

Which Mr. Clean, I guess, is technically— we're gonna make him as authentic as possible, so he's not the parody part.

Yes, you can use the non-universal Mr. Clean, right? If you, if you make your Mr. Clean based upon the original Mr. Clean text. Yes, but if you use that universal, the iconic universal Mr. Clean Yeah, you can't do that.

Yeah, you gotta like give him like a red t-shirt or maybe like a little bit of hair.

Some hair.

Yeah, yeah.

Earrings in both ears. Yeah, mustache, or at least a 5 o'clock shadow.

Or maybe just like a schlubby guy instead of both.

Hey, I'm Mr. Clean. Clean in here.

He's got a big old mop. He's not even— Yeah, it's gonna take me 2 hours to clean this place.

Yay!

Okay, cool. It's not my boyhood idol after all.

Did we do it, boys?

I think so.

I guess so.

Did we get through Dirty Dancing from, uh, 1987? Number 5-something-something or other. Let me get that exact number here. I have it written down. Number 4955072, Dirty Dancing from 1987. Mhm.

I guess, uh, it's, it's pretty good. I didn't dislike it. Um, I think that it's got more layers to it than I expected. Um, I thought it was just gonna be kind of like a look how, how sensual this dancing is.

It was a lot of that though.

It was, but there was more to it than just that. There was actually like some plot and some drama. It was more of a drama than I expected, I guess. Um, it's not bad. I, I actually kind of liked it.

There was, there was at one point, Derek, I was gonna text you and tell you, because you were talking about when we did— when we watched Jaws 2, how you wanted to like keep like a log of like how much time was like kind of wasted with like silly stuff, you know, just, you know, too much stuff. Like the movie started out where like there's like a couple like really big like dance scenes of like where like nothing else is really going on. Like it's not really moving the plot along at all. Too much. But like, they, they establish what's happening quickly and then it— they kind of continue to go on with this long dancing. I was like, oh man, Derek should keep track of how much unnecessary dancing is in this movie.

It's called Dirty Dancing.

You gotta—

Yeah, I know.

I mean, it's like if you're watching a martial arts film, you're like, God, there's 10 minutes of fighting.

Because I was thinking about it, it's like, there's a lot of dancing in this movie. But if it was like a Marvel movie, you'd be like, boy, there's a lot of fighting in this movie. Right. There's a lot of superhero action going on. Well, that's because it's a Marvel movie. And Dirty Dancing, there's a lot of dancing going on. Look at them dates and them dates.

And like a, like any fighting movie's montage scenes, kind of. Yeah.

I mean, it's literally what it is. It's the Dirty Dan— you might not be the audience for Dirty Dancing, Keith.

Whoa, whoa.

Well, he is the Patrick Swayze number one fan, so I feel like he's kind of the audience.

I still don't know how we're sticking me as being the number one fan. There's just a handful of movies that he's in that I like.

Yeah, yeah, he's pretty defensive about that. It was kind of interesting.

Very, very interesting. Keith, did you say if you liked the movie or not?

Uh, yeah, I mean, it was okay. Like, am I gonna watch it again? Probably not. No, but it's not awful.

Yeah, I think it's a good movie. I think there's moments where the acting is a little, um, mostly between Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze. There's a few moments where I'm just like, God, they— and after you said that they didn't like one another, I'm like, okay. But even like the line delivery is like bad. I wonder if this is like, we need to get this take over with it because they— before they gouge each other's eyes out or something.

Yeah, I did sense after reading that, that was because I thought they were a little bit aggressive at some times, especially Patrick Swayze. I felt like his line was like I was like, dang, he's kind of being really mean. Um, but yeah, I was like, oh, that kind of makes sense.

Um, she has like a weird smile on her face through a lot of it that's like, again, once you realize that like they had to like kind of like make sure that they had to like act like they liked each other, like it almost seems like she's really forcing it most of the time. Or it seems like, like she probably doesn't need to have the big goofy grin on her face during certain scenes and it's still there. But she just has this weird smile, or when she goes to laugh while they're dancing, sometimes it looks really awkward and really fake and stuff like that. But I can see why this movie was big at the time that it came out. I mean, it had an audience.

It has an audience, and that audience loved this movie.

Yeah.

Loved it. And it actually covers a few things. You're talking about the drama tier. There's the abortion angle, because that was pre-Roe v. Wade.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, back alley abortion in this movie, it's like, Jesus Christ. I mean, that's— those are things people are like, oh, they can't— couldn't make this movie now. I think those are topics that get conveniently avoided in modern media.

Yeah, that's not something that would get brought up.

No, I think it's kind of like a bold thing to do. Even in the '80s, it's kind of bold. But like, if you do it now, it's like people be like, yeah, oh my God, you know, people be really upset about stuff. No, but it had that in there. And there's the class struggle, you know, between, you know, the summer employees and these rich fuckers. And they're all rich fuckers. It's, you know, that one kid is like, I own 2 hotels. It's like, fuck you, man. Yeah.

And also like the weird like Almost like, uh, assigned, like an assigned marriage type kind of situation. Like they were like really kind of pushing her off on the, the hotel owner's son. Like they're trying to like, you know, connect them so that, you know, they, they can marry into the whole thing and all. And she's like, I'm gonna go join the Peace Corps.

It's rich people shit, Keith.

Yeah, I hated that guy. He was so lame.

I really disliked a lot of the, the rich side of this resort. And I think that's the point of it. They're not there. But I did, and unfortunately the deep dive, Terry didn't go into Jerry Orbach from—

Ah, Legend.

Legend, Law and Order Legend, but he's also, uh, I can't remember which character he is in the Beauty and the Beast cartoon. Is he Lumiere? Possibly.

Yeah, he's Lumiere. Lumiere. Yeah.

Jerry Orbach, he's, he's good. He's got like a— I don't know if he's a Broadway guy, but he did— he does have musical chops.

He donated his eyes.

Huh?

To how?

Uh, so after he died, he donated his eyes.

Oh yeah, he's dead. Okay.

Yeah, like an eye transplant, I, I do believe is what it was.

He passed away about a decade ago, I think.

Oh, and he was in Universal Soldier.

I always liked Jerry Orbach, and he's always a highlight for me when he's in a movie. This movie is good. I mean, it's not like a 5-star for me, but I don't think I'm the audience for it. And then I had to like reframe it as, you know, it's a movie about dancing. They do a lot of dancing.

And I like the father-daughter relationship too, of like kind of like the realization that they're like she's kind of like grown into her own person and not exactly what he envisioned, I guess. And like, yeah, it's like, uh, they both have to kind of come to terms with themselves and each other.

Yep.

And at the end, they all like come together again. It's nice.

Yep. I dig a movie where the dad is a loving father and supports his kids.

Yeah, even though like he doesn't agree with what happened, he's like still goes and helps her, you know?

Like, he seems like a good person, right?

He doesn't quite understand the full situation, but he still goes and helps.

After becoming a dad, I got really tired of watching movies where the dad dies, right? Like the first half of the movie, we get to see the dad die, and that's the motivation for the rest of the story. And it's like, Jesus Christ. So even though this isn't the best dad movie, it's still a decent father trying to do his best for his kids and whatnot. Yeah, I dig that. All right. Well, we know what we dig and don't dig. What did the internet have to dig or not dig?

Good question.

Well, on March 24th, 2006, MDoodza80 had this to say. A classic. I am surprised this is a relatively low vote. Dot dot dot. I absolutely love this movie. It is a classic and the music is fabulous. This movie is so sexy. But there are no actual sex scenes, which is something I really, really like. Dot dot dot. The power of suggestion is so much sexier than documentary-style visuals.

Okay.

Documentary style.

Documentary. What do you want?

Yes.

That is two different things.

Yeah, I agree.

Patrick Swayze is so sexy and sincere in this movie. This and Ghost are his absolute best and are both classics for me. Jennifer Grey is perfectly cast, and I think she is beautiful. Such a pity she destroyed her lovely nose with surgery. Dot dot dot. Oh, it just goes to show that smaller is not necessarily better.

Okay, what's he talking? He's going into the weeds about this nose thing.

Okay, if you're looking for a real teenage love story that captures the passion, confusion. Love and lust of that age. This is the movie. However, Patrick Swayze's in his mid-twenties as characters, so it's not a teenage love story.

Is that something they added in, or are you adding that in?

I'm adding that in.

Okay, good.

This person is— this person has glossed over the thing that— the one thing that really, as you're watching this movie, you know, as time has gone by, like the one thing that's really gonna kind of stand out is he's 25 years old and he's hooking up with a 17-year-old. It, it does kind of— people really ignored that back then.

Yes.

Uh, and it sticks out like a sore thumb to me in this movie.

Back, back to MDudes80. It's also about class distinction in modern America, hyphen, and pseudo-liberalized values. Oh, add to that amazing and ridiculously sexy Dancing and a fantastic soundtrack. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Dot, dot, dot. I carried a watermelon. Dot, dot, dot.

Oh yeah, I like that part.

Have the time of your life. Ah, one person found that helpful. No, not so much. It's been there for 20 years and only one person gave it a thumbs up. 10 out of 10.

I gotta say though, the guy before she comes over and helps him with the watermelon, like he's carrying 3 giant watermelons. In fact, when that, when that one goes to like slip and fall, he catches it. That's a big awkward watermelon there. He still catches that. It's impressive.

Yeah, I was impressed by that. Yeah. How many watermelons could I carry? One, maybe two if it's depending on the size between each.

Depending on— but what if they were those like Jap— those square ones that from Japan?

Oh, then you can just stack them up. I can do like 3 or 4.

Yeah, like a pyramid.

Yeah, I'd put— I'd get Like 4 or 5 of those, and then I'd get one normal one and I'd roll the cubes on top of it.

I don't know how you'd do that, but kudos for your innovation.

I'd make a watermelon car. I'd give 4 wheels and then I'd give a bunch of cubes and put them around. Yeah, why not roll them there?

Not to be outdone, on December 9th, 1999, S. Burke had this to say. All of you are just sick! 1, 2, 3, 5 exclamation points at the end.

Ah.

I just read a number of these reviews, and all I have to say is that you're all sick! 3 exclamation points. This lame-brained, terribly scripted, terribly constructed, terribly acted movie is your favorite movie of all time? This is the movie that made me avoid Ghost for over a year.

Definitely.

Because after seeing this, I incorrectly assumed that anything with Patrick Swayze in it was just going to be bad. The story's been told before, parentheses, repeatedly, I might add, end parentheses.

End parentheses.

Even if the story hadn't been told before, every aspect of the movie is completely predictable. Most of the dialogue is more laughable than most spoofs of Star Trek, parentheses, at least when those people are spoofing Shatner as Kirk, they're trying to be funny, end parentheses.

Uh-huh.

And the acting?

Ugh.

Even if the dialogue wasn't so bad, Most of the principals are so wooden you could use them as surfboards.

Oh, a Point Break reference.

The dancing scenes, em dash, okay, they were pretty good. But unless you're Kelly, Astaire, or Rogers, dance scenes do not a good movie make. I can see people being entertained by this movie. I really can. Just not me. But to call it your favorite movie of all time?

Argh!

48 found that helpful. 89, not so much. 1 out of 10.

Wow. But they even said they— there was— it's not the worst thing ever. It can't be a 1 out of 10.

He's mad because people think it's their favorite movie of all time.

It's like a revenge 1 out of 10 because he just—

That's fine if you think this movie— if you think any movie is your favorite movie of all time, as long as it's not like Birth of a Nation or something like that, right? I think you're fine.

Yes.

Yeah. And for the people that really loved this movie when it came out, I can see this being their favorite movie of all time.

Yeah, like, that's fine.

40-year-old women probably loved this movie when it came out, and it is still their favorite movie of all time.

What's— what is about 40-year-old women, you think, Keith?

I— they seem to be like a key audience for this, I think.

Why? Okay, maybe Patrick Swayze.

Between— yeah, well, because like—

I want to hear Keith's perspective because he chose 40-year-old women for a very specific demographic.

Um, well, okay, maybe, maybe it's between 40 and 50 because it's like they all, they all want to fantasize about themselves being like banging Patrick Swayze or any of the other help around the place. You know, when they're there, like the, like the one lady. I think that there's interesting because all of those that they make it seem like all of those ladies are doing that. And then like the waiters are like, "Hey, take care of you know the ladies and you know any of the daughters. You know, make sure everyone's you know happy, happy. You know, all the." And I think that when this movie came out at that time, that this is probably a movie that a lot of those type of ladies. actually enjoyed.

So you're, you're, so you're on the, this movie is made for sexually frustrated 40-year-old women caught in a bad marriage. That's the audience.

Well, not, you know what, maybe not the last part, but just sexually frustrated.

Okay, interesting theory.

That is an interesting theory.

Oh no.

So for me, I feel like it's more, uh, targeted towards like maybe, I don't know, like 7th grade music teachers who may There, that Venn diagram might be a tight one right there, Jim.

Yeah. Oh, or maybe, or maybe not. You know what? Maybe not even, uh, you know, maybe not even married ladies. Maybe they're, they're single.

Well, so she got married when I was in 7th or 8th grade. I can't remember if she was divorced before that though. I remember there was drama about her. She was weird. You know what my favorite memory—

Obviously she was having you guys sing the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

What a great memory. I hope you could share that with like, as like alumni of the school, you can go there and share your memory.

Yep, I could do that one day. Go back to the class of '89's reunion. I got, we got a 40-year coming up here, I think, right?

There you go.

Be like, yep.

You're like, remember when she had us singing the Dirty Dancing soundtrack all the time? Derek, you were singing it all the time. She wanted you to stop.

I lived in a small, stupid town. I remember I told you we didn't have cable, right? I didn't put it up. You could have given it to us in high school.

You could have.

Yeah, I would.

But we got Columbia House.

Yes.

And quite honestly, Derek, if that didn't happen, we wouldn't have had this fantastic month.

No, we wouldn't have had the most bizarre month. This is one of the most bizarre months I think we've ever had, in my opinion.

And definitely not where you anticipated any of this going.

Definitely not. But you know where I do anticipate us going? To the goddamn wheel.

Yes. Yeah.

And so we're at that goddamn wheel. We each chose a movie that has been mentioned this month in a deep dive or brought up in conversation. I went with The Haunting. Indeed.

An interesting pick. I like it.

I agree. Keith, how about you?

Uh, I went with Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And Terry?

Uh, I went with Return to Oz.

Return to Oz. Now I put those 3 movies on the wheel along with a Spin Again, and I doubled them up a few times just to fill out the wheel to make it look all nice and robust. But we still have the same odds of getting our numbers— our number— our movie chosen. Now it's the beginning of a new cycle here, so we all have our, uh, vetoes.

Oh, that's true. Okay.

All right, when one of you guys tells me to spin, I'm gonna spin.

Spin.

There it goes. Oh, spin again. Try again here. Try again. I'm gonna refresh. Okay, spin. Well done, The Haunting.

Okay.

Interesting.

I'm scared.

You should be.

It's right before Halloween even.

I know, we're— and not The Haunting from 1999 with Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta-Jones, but The Haunting from 1963.

Yes, don't get them mixed up.

No, whatever, whatever you do, don't get them mixed up. Yes, The Haunting from 1963 gets good reviews and people seem to dig it.

Yeah, it's an old one. Not the oldest movie we've ever watched.

No, no, it's not.

It's not even in the same league as the oldest movie. Same decade. It's decades older than that other boy. We, you know, he wanted to talk about it. It's so disturbing.

I can't even mention it.

The unmentionable. Yeah, we even watched it this last month and I still can't bring myself to say the words. All right, well, we did it. We got through the 3. We— our Columbia House order form is filled out. And sometimes they used to have like a— on there like a bonus where you'd be like, you pick your 3 and they'd be like, oh, for $2.99 more you can have one more. Ah, but they don't put that on this. So, but that's what the— that's what the haunting would be.

Yeah, our bonus disc.

Yeah, our bonus, our bonus LaserDisc.

The thing that came in the mail that you forgot because you forgot to fill out the please don't send me this one.

Oh God, you have to get the monthly catalog, and if you don't return the order form with cancel on it—

Yeah, or just please don't send me that month, I'm gonna skip the whatever, like their Columbia House pick of the month was.

If you didn't say no, they would send it to you and charge you like $35 or whatever for it. Even for like a CD, CDs were like $20 if you didn't—

$20?

Yeah.

Wow.

They were a rip-off. But occasionally they had sales for like $6, and you can get CDs for $6. They just pay for shipping and handling and Oh well, boys, I think we're left with nothing else to do but to end this episode the way we end everything.

This is the song I was thinking of.

I know, and so I got it.

Woo! This is what I was waiting for the whole movie. I feel your heart.

Thanks for listening to Fumbling Through Film. New episodes drop every Thursday. Got feedback or questions? Email us at [email protected]. You can see our films to fumble before you double Into the Grave, and other musings on Letterboxd at Fumble Through Film. The through is T-H-R-U. You can also follow Keith on Instagram at KG3030Lives and on Letterboxd at KG3030. Terry is on Letterboxd at Terry2099. Derek is on Letterboxd at Derek the number 9 and then the word 9. All original music is done by the Dr. Dre of Kansas, Terry, so hit him up for them bangers. Our new podcast logo is done by the delightful and talented And Sanjay Vicky Nayak. You can find her on Instagram @einkstein. That's Einstein with a K in there. We'll see you next week as we keep on fumbling!