Nic Cage: Con Air (1997)

Gather together from the cosmic reaches of the universe. Here in this great screening room with comfortable recliners are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled.

Keith, how they haven't mined all this

gold out of it yet.

I don't know, Terry.

Heed and hark all ye. I speak to thee in Old English.

Derek. I'm moving the mouse over, so I keep track from the power twins, Zapp and Jordan with their magical lemur snort. Dedicated to fumbling their way through movies one forgotten gem at a time. This week we're assaulted by an Alabama accent in 1997's Con Air. This is fumbling through film.

You were in the queue, right?

Yeah.

I heard you say you had 15 years.

That's rude. But then that will put you on north block, Right? Yeah.

Funny thing.

I was on north block.

Block.

I don't know you.

You know what, Al?

What do you think that means?

Nothing. Not deadly.

You see, there were 160 cats on north block.

And I didn't want to know 159

of them, which included you.

What do you think about that?

Yeah.

He's a fount of misplaced Ra. Aim your cliche.

Mother held him too much or not enough. Last pick that kickball, late night, sneaky uncle. Whatever. Now he's so angry, moments of levity

actually cause him pain.

Gives him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

What's wrong with him?

My first thought would be a lot.

Hello and welcome to another one of a kind, genre defining, brand new episode of Fun Rumbling through film. The only show that dares to bring together three dudes to talk about movies. Beast, however, aren't just any movies precisely these. These are precisely the ones we've missed, overlooked or feel are simply worth revisiting. If you were being precise with it, that's any movie.

Seems like something might be missing.

Yes, thank you, Keith. I like this.

Literally any movie.

I think you mean illiterally.

Illiterately.

Literally any movie.

Sure.

You can't read? You don't think it's any movie?

No, because you can't read what the name of the movie is.

You can read.

You know.

It's not. You know, I don't know what it is anymore. It's any movie. My name is Derek. I'm a fumbler. Joining me here in the bubble dome is the Prime Minister of fumbling and film, Keith.

Hey.

Hey, what's up? KG Fumbler extraordinaire? English speaking edition.

English.

Oh, really?

Edition? As opposed to what? Other versions of Keith.

American English speaking Edition.

Oh, not Britain. English Not British English.

Not the Queen's English.

Nope, nope. We are strictly going with the good old English.

The good old.

I feel like that's for, like, the good new English, aren't we?

Oh, yeah.

He spells old with an e at the end.

Ah, no, no, I don't. No, no, no, I don't. We're not going there. Nope.

That other one that spells words with ease in them is the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister. God damn it, Derek. This is Dr. Dre of Kansas.

Terry. I'm the Prime Minister of Kansas, but that's another story. That's another story I won't get into. But heed and hark all ye. I speak to thee in Old English.

Nice. You're like William Chaucer.

Sure. I don't know who that is, but I'll take it.

I believe it was William. Oh, boy. What? What?

What?

Egg on my face if it wasn't.

Yeah, everyone's going to be so mad.

It was William Chaucer. Yes.

Wow.

Well, it was around from 1343 to 1400.

Oh, yeah, that sounds like me.

Yep. What were you talking about?

The old English.

Oh.

In this podcast, only old English I

know is a 40 ounce.

Speaking of Englishes, you know what else is English?

Hopefully this podcast.

This podcast, we speak in English to our detriment or to our whatever. I don't know. We do a pretty good job of it most of the time, except for we speak English.

It's just like, how well is the.

Yes

to what? To what end, I suppose is the. Or what is our message?

That's.

That's the real problem.

To be or not to be. Terry, you're. You're pontificating over there.

Alas, poor York, I knew thee well podcast.

That's us.

Or not to be any movie.

Yeah, well, I like that. Don't get ahead of it, Keith, because I tell people what is we do here?

Oh, please do.

Every week we watch movies, but not just any movie. One of us chooses a theme, a genre, a guiding light, terrible accent, and we all adhere to that theme. Or a terrible accident, and we choose movies that align to that. We watch those, and on the fourth week, we watch a movie that is given to us by the magical wheel of death. But this is DTF Y2M6. It's a Terry of month.

Took me a second to realize that you weren't talking about my bad accents.

Yeah, you might be. You never know.

You never know.

You left the vague at the interpretation. You could be talking about my bad accents. I think I turn On V. Every once in a while.

Every once in a while, we all do. Right?

For better, for worse.

Terry's Kansas exit just slips up a little bit every now and then.

I've been faking this whole time. I'm actually from our Kansas.

Oh. Oh, boy. My aunt's from. My aunt is from our Kansas, and she was just up visiting a couple weeks ago. That's a distinct accent.

Oh, is it? Okay?

Yeah. You don't speak with it, Terry, but what you do speak with is your mouth. And please let us know.

Wow.

What's up for this month?

Yes, this is definitely my mouth. Speaking words and nothing else.

That's ominous in a way.

One of the other options.

My eyeballs blinking rapidly to speak.

He's ace venturing it and he's speaking on his ass.

I do do that sometimes.

Yeah.

Metaphorically, of course. I picked Nick Cage films for this month.

Nick Cage Films?

Yeah.

That's a big bucket of movies to choose from.

It is. I thought there's a lot of variety, and it's something that we haven't really touched a lot of Nick Cage for however many. How much stuff he's been in. We haven't touched a lot of this stuff, so.

That's true.

We talked about a lot of it, I think.

Yes. As he's come up a few times,

popped up quite a few times on various deep dives, where then I think we talk about said movie that he's been in, like, almost longer than we're supposed to probably be talking about it.

I think we've only officially covered one Nick Cage film so far. Right.

We have only covered one Nick Cage film. And Keith is describing a podcast I don't know if I've ever been part of. It's like, we talk about Nick Cage movies.

No, no, I. No, I'm saying, like, just over time, I think, like, we've mentioned movies that he's in, but, like, then we've talked about those movies, just as the tangential portion. Things such as, like, Ghost Rider and things like that.

We have mentioned Ghost Rider too, I guess. All right, I remember.

I. I get.

Let's just say he might come up later.

Well, I hope to God it does. Terry, this is week one of M6, your month of Nick Cage. So what did you bestow upon us?

Well, for cage month W1, I chose con Air.

Con Air from.

Brilliant. Brilliant choice.

1997.

1997. Phew. Now, before we do our conversation about con air from 1997, before Terry takes us closer to con air from 1997 than we could ever imagine. Did any of us have any previous knowledge, history or experience with con air from 19. 1987?

Oh, yeah.

This is.

This is a. This is a favorite.

My household in your household.

Yeah. My wife likes this movie a lot, too.

Ah, nice.

Okay.

I've heard of it. I've heard of it. My friends seem to like it, but I've never watched it, so that's kind of why I picked it.

I saw it once in theaters.

That's it. Yeah.

It is it. Well, not twice.

Well, hopefully it held up from 1997.

If I said it did, does that mean. Does that mean good or bad?

We'll find out.

We don't know. But what we do know, Keith, you and I, we gotta relax. We can recline our seats, put our trays down.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Turn off your cell phones.

Yeah. But as long as they're on airplane mode. Well.

And, yeah, that makes a huge difference. If you don't turn on airplane mode, something will go wrong with the plane, inevitably. Yeah. And you don't want it to be your fault.

Yeah. If you don't put an airplane mode. Cannibals.

Yeah.

They start texting a murderer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a bunch of floating in the air. Like, anybody can, like, re. Access your phone and start texting you.

Yes. You don't want that to happen.

You don't want cannibal pics.

No. Those kind of picks.

Yeah. No.

Anyway, we gotta relax, Keith, because Terry's gonna take us closer than we could ever dare dream. To con air from 1997 in another pet. And pending Fumblers deep dive.

All right, everybody, keep your arms and legs inside the. The plane at all times as we take off.

Welcome to Con Air.

Yeah. Welcome to Fumble Air.

Thank you for flying Con Air.

They do say that a few times.

Several times. Yeah.

It's like once was probably good, and then they decided to say a few more times, in case you forgot what the movie's called. But I kind of like those. You know, that. That the guy who says that every time is like. He thinks that's very clever, so that's why he says it so many times.

John Malkovich.

Yeah. He's kind of a smarty pants. Yeah.

Hector himself thought it was really clever.

He probably made that up on the spot.

Probably did Ad lib.

Yeah. Well, it was brilliant. So this movie was directed by Simon West.

Okay.

Believe it or not, Con Air was his first feature film that he ever directed.

I can't believe it.

All right. Well, that's true. He's done quite a bit since then. Yeah. Not nothing quite maybe up to that level, but he did Lara Croft, Tomb

Raider, the first one.

I think that's the first one. Yeah. It's based off Tomb Raider video games. Of course. The rest I'm not really super familiar with. He was in a. Or he directed a John Travolta movie called the General's Daughter.

Never heard of it.

It's about a. A base commander's daughter gets murdered. So a detective has to go undercover and he finds a bunch of COVID ups, conspiracies and all this stuff.

Oh, as one does.

Yep. Anytime you go undercover, you're gonna find something like that.

Pretty much, yeah.

That's why I go to Undercover every week.

Do you? Every week? Undercover, Undercover, Terry.

Am I really, Terry? Maybe you have somebody else. I've been undercover for years.

Well, would that be.

You're lost in it now. You're lost in the character.

Don't get hired in your own supply, Terry, but just podcast this podcast.

Yeah, that's my handler keeps trying to pull me out, but I can't get out anymore. I'm in too deep.

Hit this pipe.

And by the pipe, I mean pod or microphone, you know. So, yeah, he did that. And then the most recent movie he directed, Bride Hard.

Bride Hard.

Bride Hard, which is a movie I remember seeing trailers for.

Is this like Bridesmaids mixed with Die Hard?

Yes, exactly.

Like a. One of those scary movie type movies.

Yeah, it's a. It's a comedy about a mercenary group to take over the wedding. They hold him hostage, but unbeknownst to everybody, the maid of honor, played by Rebel Wilson is a secret agent and she goes all commando mode on Saves Everybody.

This is going to be a great wheel this month.

So far. So many great. Yeah. Things I brought up.

He's mentioned one movie so far, two Generals, three.

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, so far a lot of good stuff, but notably perhaps his most famous work he's ever done is a music video for Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give youe Up.

What?

Oh, fantastic.

This guy is the video director of Never Gonna Give youe Up.

He directed it.

The man that basically created the Rick Roll.

Yeah, I guarantee that that video has had more views than everything else he's ever made combined.

Well, like the official one. The official Rick Astley has 1.7 billion views.

Dang.

Seems. Seems low. Seems low.

Gotta give them the 16 years one point. But that's the official one. I bet you see, here's our 1. They had 9.9 million, 9.3 million, 10 million. Let's Foo Fighters singing it. But I mean, here's the Japanese one. 9.2 million. They all hit, like millions and millions. If you added them all up, it's as many as there are stars in the sky.

Yeah, it's that many. That's a lot.

I. I agree.

I think on the Foo Fighters one. During, like the concert, he comes. Rick Astley comes out and sings with him.

Oh, man, that's living right there.

I'd love to have seen that moment in rock and roll history.

Yeah, that's cool. To call it rock and roll histories.

What would you call Rick Astley? Pop.

Easy listening pop. 80s synth pop.

Okay.

A legend.

Yeah. Legendary, I guess is another way of saying it. Yeah. Yep. Well, speaking of legendary, this movie was written by Scott Rosenberg, so he's got 23 writing credits on IMDb.

Yes.

Some pretty recognizable stuff.

Can't wait.

So he wrote a. Another Nick Cage movie, actually called gone and six gone in 60 seconds.

Oh, yeah, With Angelina Jolie.

You know, it's an ex thief. He's got to steal a bunch of cars for a crime boss to get his brother out of trouble.

Giovanna. BC I think that also.

Oh, man.

For the cast.

The Rebecinated. Yep. So I've always called him.

It was catchy. He assembles a crew, you know, it's a classic. Like, oh, I was retired, but I gotta pull out the crew to do one last job kind of thing. Kind of looks like a Fast and Furious ripoff with Nick Cage to me. But it could have more to it than that. I don't know.

I think it was pretty Fast and furious, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Was it so? Yeah.

Oh, wow. So maybe that's just ripped off gun 67.

That's a very good possibility.

He's got a great name in that movie, too.

You've talked about this before, Keith.

Yeah, the character. Yeah.

In one of our mini Nick Cage tangents.

I thought we didn't do that.

We don't.

I forget what it is. It's like Earl Mustang or something like that.

Earl Mustang, That's a good name. Whatever it is.

Yeah.

I like Earl Mustang. My name, My first child, Earl Mustang. He also wrote Kangaroo Jack. Oh, big, big movie. When I was a kid, a lot of my friends loved this movie from their childhood. I'm not that big into it, but it's about two best friends. They have to transport some money to Australia for a crime boss, but the kangaroo ends up stealing it. So they have to track down to get their money back. See, I think the movie would be a lot better. The kangaroo doesn't talk at all. Let. Don't let the trailer fool you because that. All the trailers have that kangaroo dancing and talking, but he doesn't talk at all in the movie until they like get high or something like that. So I think the movie be a lot better if the kangaroo talk the whole time.

So this movie, Terrible Kangaroo Jack is a bad movie.

It is bad.

But when it came out, they had no idea how to market it. So they tried to market it as like a fun kids movie because there's a Kang. But it's really like a. Like you said, it's like a crime heist movie.

Yeah, it's a feature.

A kangaroo.

It's an adult comedy, I would say.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not really Memphis Reigns.

I'm sorry.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, Memphis Reigns is a good name. We have talked about that.

Yes.

So Earl Mustang, but yeah, Earl Mustang is also good.

Yeah, that's a name and a half.

That's true. That is a Nick Cage character name.

It is. Without a doubt.

He also wrote the two newest Jumanji movies.

Oh, man.

I've only seen the first of the two new ones. And he also wrote the first Venom film. Oh. Which I do actually kind of like

that until the last third.

Yeah, the last third, I think kind of loses me. It just becomes like Glob Monster versus Glob Monster. Yeah, very like un. Like exciting villain, you know, just like. Oh, great. A guy who looks just like Venom fighting him.

Yeah, Another Venom versus Venom. Did you. Do you remember when the trailer for Venom first came out and they had Jenny Slates in that movie? She was like the doctor or whatever. And she pronounced symbiote. As Symbiote.

Yes.

And.

Oh, God, that ain't gonna fly.

It got destroyed online and then they had to like, redub. It's a symbiote.

Oh, yeah. We gotta reshoot the whole movie, guys. That reshoots the whole thing.

It is not a good sign when nobody corrected her. Yeah, it's not a good.

And they put it in a trailer.

Yeah, they got that far and nobody noticed. That just shows you how dedicated fans

of Venom these people were, which is

once again, I do kind of like the movie. It's not bad. Until the last.

Up till last third.

Because the other two Venom movies are not that good. Second, horrible. Funnily enough, most of them return Blob Monster versus Blob Monster.

Yeah. They kind of wasted those characters.

Yeah. But what can you do? Just let them waste and rot? It's fine. He was also a producer and he produced some TV shows. Ooh, he produced the show from which you may have heard of.

Yep.

Okay.

I've watched at least two seasons of

it that's come up on this show before.

Yep. We talk about it quite frequently almost every other week. We sure do.

We're the podcast.

We could almost do a. From podcast. Fumbling through from.

From. Bling Through. From.

Like that. Fumbling through from. Kind of sounds wrong. Like trying to say something else. He also. He produced the live action cowboy bebop show for.

On Netflix, which I had never seen. What's that, Keith?

It didn't go over well.

It didn't, no. But I know people. People hated it. I haven't watched it. I really enjoyed the anime and I don't know if I want to watch the live action, but people said. I saw people recently say that it got too much hate.

Yeah. I heard it was actually not bad, but it just.

I'm sure it was, but you know, like, whenever anybody adapts something that's well beloved.

Yeah.

If it's not exactly the same, but in the new format, then people get angry.

Yep. Yeah. I watched the first episode and both me and my wife were kind of just like, there's something missing. Like, wasn't keeping us hooked into it.

Yeah. Well, it never got renewed, so I think.

No, I think it got canceled within days of release.

There's such a backlash. Yeah. That happens a lot with these animations. I think the only one that people actually kind of liked was the One

Piece One, which is pretty good.

Yeah, I've heard it's good. I've heard it's good.

I haven't watched the anime though, so.

So I saw this guy's upcoming producer credits and something piqued my interest. Oh, this is a show called Scooby Doo Origins.

Origins, yeah.

Of course. I'm gonna click on that.

You have to.

We all. I think we've all been wanting to know how Scooby Doo was created.

I think there was a movie called Scoob that.

Yeah, it covered this whole thing already once.

No, no, no. Scooby Doo Origins goes deeper into it, I think.

Deeper than Scoob.

Oh, my God. Because I've got the synopsis here. I'm gonna read it to you.

Okay.

A modern reimagining of the iconic mystery solving group of teens and their very special dog during their final summer at camp, old friend Shaggy and Daphne get embroiled in a haunting mystery surrounding a lonely, lost Great Dane puppy that may have been witness to a supernatural murder. Oh, together.

Great Dane Scooby Doo.

It doesn't say. It could be Scrappy.

Oh, that's true.

Or it could be. Then Scooby Doo have, like, a sister or something?

No, he's got, like, dummy do or something.

Yeah, there's like, his, like, dumb brother.

He's like, gray. Yeah.

Nobody remembers that guy.

No.

Hopefully he was the one who got supernaturally murdered.

Hopefully.

We can only hope. Together with the pragmatic and scientific townie Vilma and the strange but ever so handsome new kid Freddy, they set out to solve the case that is pulling each of them to a creepy nightmare that threatens to expose all their secrets.

You know, when I was a kid, they had a cartoon. It was like Scooby Doo and Friends or something like that. And they were like, all kids.

Yes.

To me, that's the origin of Scooby Doo. I don't need a reimagining of it. Just give me that late 80s, early 90s cartoon might have been like mid-80s. And because I called him Freddy.

Yeah, I remember. They were like, all little kids. Scooby had, like, he lived out in the backyard. Velma was little. And they had like a little treehouse clubhouse or something.

Sounds about right.

Yeah, that was nice, but.

And there's like a Captain Caveman with it as well.

Yeah, Captain Caveman was there.

Yeah, there was like. You know, they did. They used to do half hour shows, but they didn't have half hour of content. So they do like 10 minutes of Scooby Doo, 10 minutes of Captain Caveman, then come back for the last eight minutes of like, another Scooby Doo short or something like that.

Scooby Doo meets the Three Stooges or something.

Yeah. Well, no, those were great. Those were Scooby Doo. Where are you, mister?

When? Yeah, because those were always the two part ones when they would have the special guest, like the Harlem Globetrotters.

Batman and Robin. Yeah. Three Stooges. Don kn. Yeah, the Mamas and the Papas.

These are all great, but no, we need to know what they came from. Origins.

Eggs, who was the. Who was the lady in the Partridge Family? Who's the.

She met them.

Well, Sandy Duncan.

Yeah, Sandy.

I don't think she was in the Partridge Family. Sandy Duncan. She was in the Hogan. She played Mary Poppins. Or not Mary Poppins. What's the boy who could never grow up? Peter Pan. Yeah.

He met Peter Pan.

No, Sandy Duncan. Famous. Famously played Peter Pan on Broadway.

Oh, I got you.

Okay.

But she meets up with Scooby doing one of those two part ones as well.

I think she also famously has a glass eye.

Oh, really?

I think so. Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

See, now I gotta Google that and make sure that I'm not just telling lies about Sandy Duncan giving her cool lore.

That's a mystery. It's not the submit the Scooby Doo gang should solve.

No, Sandy Duncan does not have a glass eye. Damn it.

Where did that even come from?

Well, here's the AI overview. While undergoing surgery to remove a benign tumor behind her optic nerve in the 70s, she's permanently lost the vision, or left eye. However, because the actual eyeball still moves and tracks naturally alongside her right eye, doctors chose not to remove it or replace it with a prosthetic.

Okay, so there is something going on with the eye, but it's.

Yeah, perfect.

It works. It ain't made of glass. It's made of liquid membrane like everybody else.

Yes, agreed.

I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure that's what eyes are made of. So this film stars, of course. Nick Cage. Oh, our star of the.

Heard that.

Heard of him. Good. He plays Cameron Poe. Another great Nick Cage character name.

Yes.

Reminds me of Poe Dameron for some

reason, because basically, almost the same syllables, just in a different order.

Po Dameron kind of ripped this guy off.

I agree. I wonder why. Why he didn't, like, do some crazy Alabama accent in Star Wars.

We need more Alabama accents in Star Wars.

Yeah, I agree.

I don't think I've ever heard an Alabama accent. Star Wars.

No. And you think there'd be some sort.

I don't know if I actually heard an Alabama accent.

I think it's more of an AR Kansas accent.

I don't know what accent that is.

This guy, you know, he's definitely got his own specific brand going on. Kind of a meme at this point. People like to poke fun at him because he does a lot of crazy roles.

Yes.

But he's also got some pretty good stuff. We talked about him in Adaptation. Really good movie. Written by.

Very good movie.

I think that's kind of what sparked this idea in the first place because Derek said. I'm surprised we never talked about Nick Cage before. He, of course, plays the twin brothers in that. He was in the Ghost Rider films where he did play Ghost Rider himself. Johnny Blaze. I am on record saying Ghost Rider 2 is actually good. Just throwing it out there again. And I'm really excited that one of you are going to pick that, I'm sure. So then he also voiced Spider Noir and Spider Verse. He's even going to play him in a live action series that's coming out soon.

Yeah. Probably right around the same time this episode comes out. I think

this energy. Indeed.

We are not sponsored by Amazon Prime.

No.

Yet they didn't pay me to mention this. They could. I'd never tell if they did. He played himself in a video game. He played Nick Cage in Dead by Daylight.

Okay.

It's a PvP horror game. If you buy his DLC, you may play as him and get meat hooked or whatever. He was in Martin Scorsese's movie called Bringing out the Dead, which was a movie I almost picked because I think I've stated before I have been watching all of Martin Scorsese.

Yeah.

In order. And unfortunately it's a little bit slow on my movie watching. So I had to pivot from. From Martin Scorsese film Bringing out the Dead to Conor. So that's what happens.

Not. Not a bad pivot.

Yeah, it's a pivot, but it's about a burned out paramedic who's struggling to maintain his sanity through three crazy nights. One of the craziest movies I've ever seen, the Cajun, is called Drive Angry. Have you guys seen Drive Angry?

No. Never even heard of it.

No. Because I think there's. There's a point in time where I did a. I went on a no Nick Cage watching spree. Like I, I refused to watch any of his movies for a while.

Really?

Yeah. He was kind of blacklisted for a while in my movie watching surprises me and I think that's during that time. But it's another. I don't think it's that different from. It's just another like Fast and Furious style type movie, I think, isn't it?

No, no. It is a little bit, I guess, in some ways. But I almost picked this one too, but I'd already seen it and I want to pick something I hadn't. It's about a vengeful father who escapes hell to avenge his daughter and protect his granddaughter.

Yeah, I see.

That premise is really cool. And he does drive very angrily, which would make you think Fast and Furious. So there's cars involved. But he does come from hell. And there's a lot of supernatural elements as well. Pretty crazy. It's basically a very unhinged Ghost Rider film. If you were to watch Ghost rider, Ghost Rider 2, which I'm excited to watch this month. You pick it and then Drive Angry. It would make, like, a very cool unofficial trilogy. I think we should have just done that, shouldn't we? Dang it. I should have just said that as my category.

Unofficial Ghost Rider trilogy.

That's made by Terry.

Yeah,

well, there's always next time I pick them up. Those stars John Malkovich as Cyrus the Virus. This guy's been in a lot of stuff, too. Also an adaptation, though.

He was also an adaptation.

Yeah. Yep, yep. In that movie, they, like, show the Making of John being John Malkovich, which he's also in. Of course he is John. I was playing himself. But it's about a puppeteer who finds a mysterious portal that leads straight into the mind of John Malkovich.

Yes.

Actually pretty good. I like that movie quite a bit.

John Cusack in it as well.

Yeah.

Jones film, right?

Yeah.

Yep. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It's insane.

It's a weird one.

Definitely weird. Like all Andy Kaufman movies. Pretty weird.

Charlie Kaufman. Andy Kaufman. I don't know.

Oh, wait, why did I write Andy Kaufman in my notes? You're right. It's Charlie Kaufman.

Andy Kaufman wasn't Taxi.

Andy Kaufman is the guy that Jim Carrey played. Yes. And then he went insane.

Yep.

Yes.

May or may not be dead. He's probably dead.

He could come back.

People suggested he faked his death and whatnot. That was the whole point of the man on the Moon, I think. The troubled mind of Andy Kaufman.

Yep. Yep. John Malkovich was in Shadow of the Vampire.

That sounds good.

It's about the making of the original Nosferatu, but I remember that it's, like, historical fiction, so I think I've seen that movie. You have?

Maybe.

You might have. It's the. The, like, the. The filmmakers actually find a creepy, weird guy who is a vampire and cast him as Nosferatu in their film. Nosferatu?

Nope, I haven't seen that.

Willem Dafoe plays the vampire that plays Nosferatu. Oh, pretty good movie. I liked it. It was really hard to find at one point, but I think they finally, like, re released it. Whoever had the rights to it. He was in Transformers 2, Dark of the Moon. Haven't seen that one since high school, but I remember thinking it was pretty epic. Probably, but think differently now. But who knows? Could be awesome. They find some Cybertron tech on the moon, so the Autobots, the Decepticons, they, of course, need to battle over that. And I believe there's a giant robot worm in it.

Oh, I like that. Worms.

It could have been Mecca shy Hulu.

Yep.

I hope that's in Dune 3. Shy Hulude versus Mecca Shy Hulude.

I mean, it only makes sense.

That'd be the. If I can make a giant robot, of course I'm making a giant robot shy hulude.

Why wouldn't you?

I hope they make a Mecca shy Hulu popcorn bucket.

Yep.

Because the possibilities with that.

That's more erotic than the first one.

Yeah.

Sharp and shiny.

I agree with that. Sleek. I was going to talk about a different, bigger billed actor from the movie, but then I saw that there's a character named Swamp Thing in the film, so I.

Okay.

Unfortunately, this is not DC's Swamp Thing.

No, it is not.

Unfortunately, there's a mysterious serum. We fell in the swamp, became a giant monster of plants. Of course, he has a heart of gold. I can't help but imagine Swamp Thing in the film from dc, like, if he was just like, they didn't change anything, but it was just like flying the plane. Yeah, that would be awesome. But this is a human named Swamp Thing in the film. I don't know why he's called Swamp Thing. They never tell us. No, but he is played by MC Gainy, who has done a lot of TV and film, very small roles. He was in an episode of Desert Housewives. He was in 21 episodes of Lost. O. He played the sheriff in Dukes of Hazzard, the movie.

Oh, okay.

He played a bouncer in Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines. He was in two episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. Oh, boy. Legend. Yep. You're not a true actor till you get on that show. He did play two different characters on that show. It wasn't the same character each time.

One character was named Swamp and the other one was named Thing.

Funnily enough, he was the Thing in that. In the second episode from Marvel, I was excited to see that he was in John Carpenter's Starman.

Ooh.

Played Cop Number two.

I think that's based off of the David Bowie song.

Is it?

No, I just wanted to say that I believe it.

I don't know. So this is one of the few John Carpenter movies I have not seen. John Carpenter's one of my favorite directors, though. And this is one of his only movies that ever got, like, an Oscar nomination as well.

So Jeff Bridges.

Yep, sounds right. There's a star man waiting in the sky.

Jeff Bridges is waiting in the sky.

I think I've seen that movie. Possible.

That's good.

Yeah.

An alien takes the form of a widow's dead husband and has her drive.

I haven't seen that.

Wow.

You don't remember that?

I would remember that. I haven't seen that.

Well, he makes her drive. Her or she. He makes her drive him to a place where he's getting picked up at, I guess.

Oh, to the store. Go. Let's go get some smokes. Yeah.

I'm wondering why he didn't get picked up anywhere.

I know. It's a spaceship.

Yeah. I could come wherever it was, but they do get chased by the government and scientists and everything, so it's classic. Classic conundrum. When you're Star Man.

I think there's a thing with spaceships, right. You can't land them near what you want to be at.

Yeah. You have to make it like a little journey.

It's always going to be a giant walk or a shuttle ride or some sort of speeder or. You gotta get on the back of something. You can't just go where you want to go with a spaceship, even though it moves in six directions.

I think we are, and I think we discussed this at one other time previously that, like it. There has to be, like, some hillbilly type people living nearby or something like that.

Oh, that sounds like the cat from outer space.

Yeah.

Or killer clowns.

Or killer clowns. Yeah.

And see, the killer clowns landed far off out of the town. Why didn't they just land smack dab in the middle?

Well, they. They needed a whole, like, space to like, build up their giant tent thing

or whatever they had going on. Just smash the city or the town with your spaceship.

Wouldn't that be the ultimate joke from the clowns?

Yeah, It'd be cutting out the middleman. He wouldn't do all that work to round everybody up. He just.

Everybody started smushed. And you can just slurp them up, right? Yeah.

Come on, clowns.

If I was a killer clown, let me tell you, I'd do things a little different.

I know I would. And have.

Wait a second.

What?

Has Derek been undercover this whole time?

Killer clown, maybe.

Oh, my God.

God damn it, Terry. You got us so close.

Yep.

So close to Con Air. I almost said con hard because I looked up and I saw bride hard or whatever it was because I wrote that down for the wheel. Con Air is the name of brand of hair dryers.

It is? Sure is a fun fact. You got me even deeper than actually Google.

Con Air. That is one of the things that comes up.

You think they did that on purpose or did it Exist first.

Conair has probably been around for centuries.

Yeah.

Centuries?

Yes.

You think so?

Yes.

Okay, well, I can't prove you wrong, so.

No, you can't. I can tell you the Con Air founder is. Oh, I'm sorry. Not centuries. Decades. 1959 by Leandro P. Ruto. The Conair Corporation.

I looked up Conair and one of the things that popped up was Conor 2. And I clicked on it and it said, there are no appliance for a Conair too.

Oh, no.

As there should not be.

I think everything that need to be said in Conair was said.

You think? You don't think they could go a little deeper?

No.

What about Conair, The. The new breed?

Well, maybe. Or, like, Con Air babies. It's like all the characters, but they're, like, younger and in a plane.

Yeah. Criminal babies. Like in the dark, distant future, we rounded up all the criminal babies onto one plane and then they.

Oh, yeah. I like that, too.

But there's one last thing. Is Muppet Babies?

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Like, you got the little baby version of Nick Cage, the baby version of John Malkovich. Enemies. They're, like, solving problems and doing stuff.

Little baby Kevin Poe still has the long hair.

Yeah. In the accent. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And he sounds like Nick Cage still.

Yeah. Voiced by Nick Cage, probably.

He's the only one who returns the rest that had better things to do.

Yep, Exactly.

I'm pretty sure most of them do. Yes.

Con Air babies.

Finally, a Con Air for the children. That's like, the children need the Cage and his criminal friends as babies, but

they're friends and they're doing stuff and their nanny is always causing problems.

Oh, the nanny's like the. The pilot or like the grumpy guard or something.

Yeah.

It's still John Cusack.

Oh, yeah.

The babies take the plane and John Cusack's, like, trying to figure out, like, what they're doing up there.

Yeah.

Good idea.

You Con Air babies, get down here.

Wait, I don't want it.

You're always getting into something. Con Air babies.

What are they up to now? They're stealing all the Popsicles from the ice cream store. Yeah.

To build a plane with the sticks.

Oh, they build their own planes. The big thing about Muppet Babies is all imagination. Right. So the Connor babies could do anything with their imagination.

Wow. There's so much potential for this franchise.

I agree.

How they haven't. How they haven't mined all this gold

out of it yet.

I don't know.

I don't know. When there's no direction forward. Right. Like Con Air 2. Just doesn't make sense. You go back. That's right. Back to, to the roots of Con Air.

Everyone wants to see Cameron Poe as a baby taking over a plane.

Or Poe Damron is a baby. Either one.

Oh, we could go. Well, I guess if you go back far enough. Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Cameron Po versus Po Damero. Damron or you know what, you know, like how Planet the Apes pretty much crosses over for anything. Why not have the plane go through a wormhole lane on the Planet of the Apes? And now it's Conair versus Plan of the Apes.

Now I'd love that. Got a bunch of snakes on it too.

Oh yeah.

So we have snakes on a plane vs. Conair vs. Planet of the Apes.

Yeah, why not go?

And going through the wormhole causes some of the. Some of the. The convicts and the snakes to like kind of merge.

Like merge like a fly. The snake.

I love it. Let's do it.

Then there's like a giant half fish, half snake there too. Basic.

Oh, yeah.

This is like the ultimate. This is made. This is a billion dollar idea.

We just need to buy like five different franchises and then also add our own.

All right. Well, I guess that means we have to talk about Conair.

I think we should. Yeah.

Our viewing of Con here.

Why wouldn't you want to?

Well, this is a regular Keith's household. Derek, how did I hold it for you?

I didn't say it's a regular. I just said it's a well loved movie in the South.

You said something like that. You said it was a well rotated

favorite in the house.

Yes, favorite. Because I know my wife likes it a lot. So I knew she would watch the movie with. With me this week. And then I had my kids watch with and they both, they both. They enjoyed it as well.

Okay.

Yeah. I mean I watched

is such a mid-90s movie.

Mid was going to be generous, but I guess mid-90s. Okay.

It is. It is such a high level version of a mid-90s action film. I mean it's insane. Like overall this is like this movie's completely stupid, but it's so over the top stupid that it's great.

Yeah, I agree with that. I think it's a very heightened film where it's like everything's just ridiculous, but mostly in a very entertaining way. I kind of liked it. Yeah.

I mean every care, every character's turned up to like 11.

Yep, yep.

I'm gonna take a page From Keith's book, this movie was easily 30 minutes too long.

Maybe 10.

Easily 30 minutes too long.

I honestly.

I don't know if it need to be two hours. I would agree with that. Maybe.

I honestly forgot that there's a chase scene after they land the plane.

Yes.

Yeah. I feel like the plane should have been the main focus. We don't need to get off the plane.

The plane should have never landed.

No, it should always have taken place. The ending of the film should have been the plane landing or blowing up.

Yes. Or blowing up or blowing up and Nick Cage diving off or whatever.

Yes. Standing in the ocean or like. Yeah. Like parachuting away or even just.

I mean, some last, you know, once they do crash on. On the Vegas strip, like the final, like, fight scene being, like, right there and. And still being involved with the plane and not those guys, like, sneaking out someplace and, like, getting on a fire truck. Like. Yeah, that goes a little too far there. But it. It's still just the old. It's so over the top in every possible way.

I get that it's over the top, but it's. It's easily. Yeah. This was a movie. We watched it. I watched it, and it's the first time I've watched it since theaters.

Yeah. Did you like it when you first watched it?

No. Oh,

well, did you like it better or worse this time? Or about the same?

I. I don't. I. I don't remember my immediate reaction. I mean, this is, what, 30 years ago?

Oh, God.

Yeah, I guess I remember not liking it, but I don't remember, like, I didn't remember any of the movie, to be honest. So watching it again today was. Oh, like, watching it kind of fresh because I hadn't seen in 30 years. And I did. I didn't like it.

Yeah, I. I liked it. You know, I feel like they don't make them like they used to.

There's a reason, man. Right.

That's partly what. Yeah, I kind of get it. Like, it's definitely, like. I feel like it is a time capsule of a movie. Like, definitely 90, mid-90s.

I mean, film this falls under, like, the same category as, like, Roadhouse. Like, Roadhouse is not a good movie, but it's. It's a. It's a great movie to watch.

Like.

Like, me either.

I don't know.

Oh,

the Cage in that.

No, no. And it's. And again, it's one of those ones where, like, everything is, like, you know, really pushed to the limits. The dialogue in this movie is just anytime Anybody opens up their mouth, nobody says anything normal. I was just saying, like, Roadhouse, though, is not like. Roadhouse is just a fun movie to watch. It's a. But it's not like. It's not. Nobody's gonna claim Roadhouse is, like, the greatest movie of all time. It's just. It's there. It's an action film. It's fun. And. Which is the same thing with this one specifically with Con Air, though.

Like.

Like, there's not a bit of dialogue. That's not just some super over the top, cheesy, like, 90s, like, let's push the limits of what we can say type line constantly. It's like, it doesn't matter who it is. Like, nobody has, like, just a normal line in the movie.

I will give it this. It definitely has that 90s. We're gonna. Everything's a stereotype sort of thing, which kind of grates on my nerves a little bit. They do do that. I don't think they did. I don't think this movie, like, pushes the boundaries of anything. I just. No, I think it's corny as hell. That's my problem with it. I find it very corny.

It's definitely corny. So, like, I don't want to call it generic. It's not.

No, I don't. I don't think it's generic at all.

But it's. It definitely is. It's like, over the top in a corny way a little bit, for sure. But I kind of like that vibe.

Nick Cage's accent in this movie.

It's bad.

Is akin to Dick Van Dyke's accent in Mary Poppins. And how, like, just not anything. It's just.

It's like this doesn't add anything to the film.

No.

You could just talk normally.

And what's funny about, like, so Dick Van Dyke, he was asked about that accent years later, and he's like, nobody said anything to me. I thought I was doing a good job. I think that's the same thing. Same thing with Nick Cage.

Yeah.

I think he thought he was doing a really good Alabama voice.

Yeah. It might have been the thing that he's like, you know, because I've heard that he's the type of guy, like, he finds a gimmick with every character he wants to do. This one might have been his Alabama gimmick.

Yeah. And it's cool. Like, I don't mind that the character quirk or whatever, but is it. It was just really bad.

It's almost good accent.

Yeah. Bruckheimer. Was. Was. What was this? This is a Bruckheimer production, right? Or was it was his face. Who's there?

Guy

Who's Bruckheimer's protege? Armageddon guy.

Michael Bay.

Michael Bay. Is this a Bay or a Bruckheimer move production? Either way, the could spent some money to get a dialect coach in for Nick Cage.

You know, it's funny that you mentioned Armageddon because I. I told my family I wanted to watch that next. Oh, well, now that we watch this,

I've never seen it.

This has big Michael Bay vibes.

You've never seen.

You've never seen Armageddon?

No, I've never had a desire to see Armageddon.

I've never seen either. Yep. Sorry.

I know the premise. Asteroid.

Yeah.

It set up miners for some reason.

It's another one that's. It's. It's so. It's like a lot of over the top type stuff with a lot of big characters in it and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Not to the same extent that they are in this movie, but. But it is. One interesting thing is so. And Derek, I know you've. We've brought up Face. Face off before.

Oh God.

Yeah. That's the wheel.

He does. He does a. He does a three movie run in like, I think it's about 18 months. This face off in the Rock. Yeah, he does All Within.

Like, I remembered that run because I saw them all in theaters.

Yeah.

And I didn't like a single one of them. So I was thinking that's it's like peer pressure. Right.

Like, I. I love, I love, I love every single one of those movies.

I think the one I like most out of them is the Rock. And I don't really like that movie.

This. This has a Face off vibe. Face Off I think is more over the top than this. But I could see if you don't like Face off, you're probably not gonna like this either.

I don't. I don't really care for these types of movies. I like action movies and I like stupid movies, but I don't care for these. Like, there's just something. Maybe it's Nick Cage, maybe it's the Michael Bay Bruckheimer thing. Like, I don't know. I just. They. They just don't strike a chord with me and I'm just like, ugh.

I. I always do think it's strange how Nick Cage became such like a popular actor. Like, I think he is a good actor and I think he can be.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's got the Potential. It's just like he's such an odd looking guy.

Yeah.

I don't feel like he's got that like, you know, like movie star, like typical movie star look. I guess. I don't know. He always looks like he's not.

Doesn't have the Brad Pitt or Leonardo Gabriel look to him.

Well, he looks like he's always been Coppola's nephew.

Yeah.

Maybe that's why it's a Memphis.

But like, like he was. Always looked like he's been at least like almost 50 years old to me. I don't know. Like he always looks like old.

Eternally 50.

Yeah.

And like, I'm like, why is he. I don't know how it happened, but I mean, good for him. And like I said, I do like him as an actor. It's just like, I think he's an odd, like, it's odd that he had so such a big run of like, films where he was like the leading man in like a big action movie.

It's always action movies.

Because I'm like, he doesn't strike me as an action movie star.

No.

I like him in this. Even though his accent is horrible.

Yeah. I mean, his. I mean, maybe that's kind of the reason he's got an Academy Award.

Right.

Because he got leaving Las Vegas.

In Las Vegas.

Oh.

Then he's just like, you can do whatever you want now. Let him loose.

Yeah. And he all. He has also said that like he's. He did a whole bunch of movies because he had debt to pay off and he's done paying off the debt. So now he's.

Well, I think this is the movies that he like made all that money to buy. The stuff that he all of a sudden had to start paying off.

Action Comics number one. Lots of Superman, the giant.

The giant T. Rex head.

Some sort of like cursed mansion in Louisiana.

Yeah. Yeah. And. And so then he did like this. He did a string of like, like just super terrible movies as well.

Yes.

And how he. I mean, he's kind of back. He's. He's got good stuff that he's doing now. There's a lot of stuff that I've enjoyed of his more recently. So I did have like a. I really did have a spot where I was like, okay, I'm not watching the Cage anymore. And the one that got me back into. I. I watched the Sorcerer's Apprentice and he's in that. That's.

That's what you got. But what got you back in.

I didn't. Not, not for him. Like I thought the movie actually looked pretty good like when it came out and he was actually pretty good in it. And then I think he does like kick ass shortly after that and a few other things.

Oh yeah, he was good in it but like.

Yeah. So he starts to get back into doing some.

He.

It's still hit or miss here and there with, with him, but I think he's got more good stuff going on lately than. Than bad stuff. But like the this and Face off of the Rock, they have like a certain spot in my like movie enjoyment.

It's soft spot in your heart for those three.

Yes, yes.

Well, no, for those type of movies. Well, Face off is a little bit different than the other ones. But like especially like this one, it, like there's some movies that are just like, they're over the top ridiculous action movies that I still just like. Especially for like the time period when they came out. Like I just, I. I very much enjoy the movie. I laughed through pretty much all of this and I was like, man, this is way more ridiculous than I remember it being. But I still like enjoyed like every bit of it.

Every bit of it. There wasn't anything you found tedious at all or could been?

I mean the only tedious part to me is that they go on that weird like chase scene at the end in, you know, after they crashed the thing on the Las Vegas Strip. It's not necessary. But at that point I'm already so far in on like the rest of the dumb that's going on.

Not even like that. That pit stop in. Was that Carson City trailer park area. The trailer park airstrip?

No, because that's where they had. They had to go pick up the, the guy who was supposed to be helping get them out. The, the drug guy.

Yeah, I know. I get the, the plot point. It's just they're there for like 35 minutes.

Yeah, the scene does take a little bit long. Yes, they could have shortened that up and.

And John Cusack's there hiding in barrels and. And yeah. Just trying to find a syringe.

Well, that's the, that's the next part, isn't it? That's when they get to the next spot. No, that's when they get to the, the third airstrip that they have to go to.

Yeah, the plate lands multiple.

But the one.

Yeah, the one, the one in Carson City. Because also they're like, oh, city is

one of the sandstorm.

The Sandstorm trailer park.

Once when I was talking about, I couldn't remember what it was called.

But I like when they're like, there's a. The sandstorm one, and they can look over there because they crashed the plane into, like, the. Into the. No, that's the one. The last one. The first one where, like, you can see the cars coming to get them.

Yeah.

Yes.

And they don't look that far off.

No, it looks like they're about half

a mile away and it still takes them forever to get there.

Yep.

Yep.

And it just. There. It. Yeah, there's. Yeah, there definitely is, like, there is fat to trim off this.

I like. I like the first landing. I think the first landing is good because there's some tension there about. Are they going to get caught?

Yes.

Yeah.

And then you got Dave Chappelle and then he gets stuck. Like. I like that.

Yeah.

They should have never landed it again.

The second time. It was way too long. I feel like John Cusack's character, I. He's. Anytime he's on screen, I'm not interested. No, the plane is the. The most important part. And it's like, in time. He's like the focus. It's like the only reason they did that was that John Cusack could meet Cameron Poe.

Yeah.

And then they could like.

Or, you know, maybe they shouldn't have had them take off again and end up in Vegas. Like, maybe they try to start taking off and then they get grounded again on whatever.

That little.

Whatever that little, you know, island trailer park airstrip that they're on. And maybe that's where the whole final thing takes place, as opposed. Yeah. Aren't they, like, near an island? Isn't like, it's. It's wherever it's at. Yeah, but it's like a small little strip of something, like where they're at a dirt strip.

I don't even know how it's an airstrip, but they had a tower.

Yeah.

And so, like, maybe they don't fully get out of there and they have a big showdown there. Maybe that would make some sense.

And they already spent 30 minutes there. It could have just ended the movie there. I guess that's what I'm saying.

Like, that. Maybe that would be the. The.

They have a big fight there.

They didn't need to get back on the plane one more time to take off.

No, no, I don't think so, but I don't think so.

I mean, every movie I see is, you know, 10 to 15 minutes too long. So this kind of goes without saying at this point, but I. I mean, I. I enjoy just the weirdness of all these characters, the over the topness of all these characters.

I really liked Steve Buscemi's character, the weird, like, serial killer guy.

Was he even a serial. He's.

I. I don't know what his deal was.

Felt like as a child molester or something like that.

I think he's a killer because he said he wore a woman's head as a hat for like.

Yeah, yeah. He's supposed to be like Hannibal Lecter. I get that.

But Marietta Mangler or something.

He has that scene with a little girl and the. The tent, the tension there feels like, is he going to do something? This little girl?

Yeah. I thought he's gonna kill her. Nothing.

Like when he goes. When they. After they go, like, leave and take off, or when they got the glasses all broken there. You're supposed to kind of think that, but then she's waving them on at the end.

Yeah, yeah.

I like his character. He's very strange.

He's singing, got the whole world in his hand when he's on the plane and everything.

His little snide comments, like, he doesn't care what's going on. He's not invested in this at all. And he just keeps saying weird things to Nick Cage's character over and over again. I. I really like that dynamic. I wish he would have been on the plane the whole time because I thought he added the, like, a weird, quirky energy to it.

Yeah. He's like, above all of the nonsense.

Yes.

This movie does some things with this dialogue that feels like, you know, Quentin Tarantino has, like, a real love of using slurs.

Yep.

It felt like this movie kind of wanted to be like that, too.

Yeah.

Like, it wanted to. It had some weird points of view to say, and it says them. And it's all based around Race and six.

Yep.

I didn't write him down because they kept coming. I'm just like, jesus Christ. And they all, like. Almost like they say them directly into the camera, too. It's like, all right, well, this is

one of those movies that's obviously, it's, you know, like Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction come out, you know, a couple years before. So this is. Then. This is in that section of movies where everyone was trying to do their.

You think this is trying to be like a Tarantino movie? Yes, yes.

Yeah. You do some with some of the dialogues. Yeah, they're trying to be, you know, the edge, you know, edginess and thinking, the clever dialogue and stuff like that. Tarantino's dialogue stuff, for the most part, holds up. If you watch a movie even like decades later, this. This. It does come across very comical at this point. Like, this movie ends up being more of a comedy, maybe to me, than an action film.

Yeah. But I don't think it intends to be a comedy, though.

It didn't in 1997. No. But.

No, it doesn't matter because of.

Because of the. The stuff that they put in there just fit more during that time now. It's. But yeah, they're trying just to be, like. With like, edgy, cool dialogue, which is.

This movie takes itself very seriously, in my opinion. I. I don't think it. It. It's in on its own joke.

That's hard to tell for me. I don't know. I think it's so over the top either. If it does take it so seriously, it does it so much that it, like, flips all the way around. At least it. From my version.

Oh, yeah. It's comical how serious it. It takes itself. It makes the whole movie, like, laughable, I think. And I don't think the action is cool enough. In fact, I think the action is pretty weak. It's okay. I think the movie is its selling point. And they even highlight that in the closing credits. Is its ensemble cast like, oh, we got all these people in the movie because the action is weak. The storyline is. The premise is shaky, but kind of cool. And I don't know, it's just. It's just not my jam, that's all.

Yeah, I don't think the action's that bad, but it's definitely not that great. I think it's pretty mid. Pretty mid.

Mid. Yeah. Mid 90s.

Yeah. I was a little skeptical about John Malkovich being Cyrus the Virus because he doesn't strike me as like, a hardened criminal. But you know what? I thought I did pretty good.

Yeah, it's fine.

He did okay.

I think it looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin during most of it.

Yeah, definitely. It's kind of just like a mad genius.

Yeah. I. I like how they find in his cell all these, like, hand drawings of an airplane and stuff.

Who either gave that to him or did he draw that? And there's like an AK47 in there or shotgun or something. Like, I was like, what is going on?

Yeah, it's very funny.

Yeah. It was interesting because at first when they. Before they reveal that, like, this is all a plan, like, he pulls out the little, like, lock pick out of his palm and starts doing it. Then the other guy across from him does it too. I was like, wow, that's amazing. They both had the same idea. Like, I thought they both are just, like, you know, separately had the idea to do this, but then it became a conspiracy, like, of a plane. I was like, oh. I thought it was almost more better if it would have just been, like, both of them.

Like, coincidentally, they both put a lock pick under their skin.

Yes. I would have thought that would have been awesome. And then they just happen, like, it's like a spontaneous takeover.

You have to bring that up at the next lock pick meeting.

Yeah. Great. Places to hide a lock pick on your body.

Straight into my palm.

Yep. Under the skin of my hand. Did this ever come back as anything or. I could have totally missed it. I thought it was going to, but didn't. Nick Cage, while in prison. His. His prison montage is learning Spanish.

No. Doesn't come back for anything.

Okay. Because I thought I was like, here's the guy speaking Spanish on the plane. Yeah. I was like, oh, Nick Cage, is this gonna come in handy? And then it didn't.

It's like, yes. They should have been, like, telling their secret plans.

Well, I think he understands.

Oh.

When Trejo says a couple things to

the lady, he's explaining the tattoos. And then I think that's from Nickish picks up on that.

Oh, okay.

I think. I think there's something to that. But. But not to the point to where, like, it being a big deal that. Yeah. That he kept you just. That he was keeping himself busy the whole time.

They did not make that clear that he. Their connection is there. But I think that is supposed to be the, like. Oh, he heard. Overheard what the. What Danny Trejo was saying about his tattoos.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

I will say Nick Cage getting thrown in prison was a flimsy case, in my opinion.

Yeah. I feel like the. He was in his right to. I mean, he, you know, I don't

want to defend himself. Yeah.

He wasn't, like, trying to kill. They were trying to do some bad stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he wasn't trying to kill his lawyer. His shitty lawyers, like, take. You know, if you plead, you'll get four. You'll be out. You'll be out within four. And immediately the guy is like, yeah. You know, you're like, if you're training, you're a dangerous weapon.

Well, Nick Cage is a weapon.

And so we're gonna automatically throw this heavier thing at you. Like, okay.

Yeah. Even if you, you know, or whatever, highly trained like, that doesn't make it so you can't defend yourself against three goons.

Also, if you would have, but also if you would have continued to stick with your not guilty thing and gone to trial, like, maybe you would have gotten out all good. If not, you still got stuck with 7 to 10.

Well, sadly, that's how America's justice system works.

Yeah, it is a commentary on that, I think.

I doubt that, but I mean.

Well, no, it is, because doesn't someone say how you treat your prisoners is how you treat society? Well, you judge a society by how it treats its prisoners. Look how it treated in a cage. I think it's a big theme.

Accidental. I don't think it's intentional.

No? No. Okay. Well, I could write a dissertation about it.

You go right ahead, Terry. I'll read it for you too. I'll perforate it.

You will?

Thank. Go ahead. Your doctorate on the, the social commentary of Conair.

My doctor. I have a doctor in Con Air.

Or Nick Cage.

That'd be kind of cool if I was a doctor in his life.

Nick Cage works. Yeah.

Yep. I get to meet him and then feel like never meet.

Harvard presents NICK Cage Films I have to teach it.

Yeah. Professor Terry, the Dr. Nick Cage. I'm the only one who gives teaches the classes. All right, here's your semester is it's gotten Face Off. We're watching Conair. We're going to analyze all. Each class is a different movie of his.

Oh, yuck.

Each class is a one off. Kind of like this podcast.

Just like this podcast.

Wow.

Do we do it, boyos?

Hell yeah, we did.

I guess we did.

Do we get through Conair? Did we crash land our way through Conair?

Twice.

Twice? Yeah. Three times even Three times. Playing lands way too much. Well, what do we think?

I, I, I love the movie. I still think it held up really nice.

Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think it is over the top and I could definitely see why. I wouldn't vibe with some people, but I liked it quite a bit. Nick Cage's accent's bad, but I like Nick Cage in the movie either way. And I do think it's a little long. I think that the plane stuff's the most interesting. And anytime they're not on the plane, I start to kind of lose my interest.

Why aren't they on the plane? Get on the plane. I don't want to see the DEA talking about anything.

No.

When I see him talking to us like, oh, where the FBI were to talk to his wife. Don't want to see that. I don't want to see the dirt town they land in.

Nope.

I don't want to see any of that stuff. I. I really. Okay, so on A scale of 1 to 10, this movie is really low for me. I don't care for it and I don't. Like I said, I don't know if it's because I don't really care for Nick Cage a ton, particularly when he does movies like this, or I just don't like that 90s action. Whatever. Like, I don't know, just. This isn't my jam. What you said last week, Terry, my heart sunk.

When you said last week, my heart grew three times.

I know it did. Keith has been walking around with a fumbling boner all week.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. You need to see a doctor about that. If it's more than a couple hours with a fumbling boner you need, you're in trouble.

Yeah, you don't want that much fumbling boner.

No. I picked it though, because I feel like there's a lot. You know, Derek, I know you. You're. This kind of movie is not your jam. But Dinkage has done movies that are probably more so your jam.

Maybe we'll see like Ghost Rider too. Like Ghost Rider 2 could totally be my jam. I've never seen it. Well, we know what we thought. What did the Internet have to say? Well, on February 17th of 2006, the underscore kiss, underscore army, underscore 45 had this to say. The best movie. I'm moving the mouse over so I keep track. DOT ever.

Wow.

I first saw this movie when I rented it in 1997. Back then, sub movies came out on rent before they came out on video. Huh.

That true? Wouldn't have to be out on video to rent it.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Anyways, this. Well. Oh, now, back then, back in the day, this. I don't know if this is VHS tapes used to be really expensive, like 100 plus dollars to watch it buy a movie. Like, no, no kidding. So you had to rent everything. And that was like some. And then you couldn't go to like Walmart and buy a new release for 20 bucks or whatever. There were hundreds of dollars and you had to like special order.

Anyway.

Anyways, this movie was nothing short of amazing. I have owned it since the first day it came out. The acting is great, especially John Malkovich, who does very well of playing the insane yet intelligent antagonist. Nicolas Cage also did a very good job at his. At his Cameron Poe character. I would recommend this movie to anybody. Maybe not younger children due to Strong language and violence. Strong and violence are both capitalized. Capital S, capital V. I don't know

if it's that strong. You should not capitalize it.

No. Go buy it now. I know that you will not be disappointed. 10/10. 2. Found that helpful. 2, not so much. 10 out of 10.

Well, high praise. Yeah, I don't think it's that. I think definitely the violence is not that strong.

I. I don't think so either. I think some of. Some of the stuff and it would keep me from letting my kids watch.

It could use a little more like a gore violence.

Yeah.

Like you said, the action, if it was kicked up a notch, like John Wick style, oh my God, that'd be amazing.

Now I will say this. There was a. The scene when they're in Cyrus the Virus's cell and the guy opens the box, says, do not open. It's a bomb.

Yes.

There was a very cool visual of bodies flying with the bomb.

Yes.

I was like, oh, that was pretty cool looking.

But then the chunk of metal landed next to his head.

Yeah.

Classic scene. They see that in a lot of movies.

Or big propellers cutting through things, separating two people by a propeller.

And there were a lot of like those fake bodies falling off of things. You saw that when they threw the body out of the plane.

Yep. Dave chappelle falling from 20,000ft.

Had that given an extra star for you.

Yeah. I mean, they didn't do it practically, though. If they would have really thrown like a dummy from a plane into traffic, then I would have been awful.

Or actually third day P does the

cuz the smallest, thinnest guy on the entire trip was really weighing them down.

Yeah, well, he was dead.

Dead weight.

But I'm just saying. But I'm saying, like his like of all the people like to actually have to like toss off the. The plane, he was like the skinniest little guy.

Well, they weren't tossing him off because he was weighing him down. He was clogged in the landing gear.

Yeah. The gear was lowered. So it was causing. Because he was playing to be off

balance from landing number one. He was talking to that girl in the hangar.

Yeah.

And then. Well, he got stuck in the landing

gear, but they still tossed him. They could have kept him, to be fair. Probably should have because they would have caused the scene.

Yeah. They could have kept him and been like, just put him in a chair and talk to him even though he's dead.

Keep him company. Yeah.

But not to be outdone, on December 9th of 1990, 8. Tizzy Hyphen 2 had this to say. What were they thinking? It never ceases to amaze me the kinds of movies that get made these days. Colon. Ridiculous plot lines, horrendous dialogue, they somehow actually make it to the screen. There are so many things about this movie that bother me. I can't begin to begin to describe them. And trust me, it's not that I need to lighten up. Usually people will say that's. It's. I'm not the problem. Usually are the problem. I have never seen any.

Oh, you should have said that.

I have never seen any movie with lines so bad they inspired a physical reaction until Con Air. The script is amazingly bad, considering the cast was fantastic and I can't really put down any. Any of their performances. Except Nick Cage, who I could only laugh at. They were all great and it sucked anyway. No, that really says something. I take the disturbing bloodletting of Reservoir Dogs over this pointless, overdone crap any day. John Cusack was probably the one redeeming feature of the whole movie, never giving in to the stupidity of the script. But he was the lucky one whose character allowed it. Possibly he's getting better, but there's that nagging voice in the back of my head, and I think it's on to something. Jerry Bruckheimer must be stopped. Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer.

Oh, eight.

Found this helpful. 17, not so much.

What out of 10 dots going on today?

A lot of dot, dot, dots. One guy had like 12 dots in a row. This one had just like 50 dots dispersed throughout the whole. Well, they did it.

We sure did, didn't we?

We got through Con Air.

We didn't.

I wasn't sure if we would or not.

I never had any doubts we could make it.

Yeah, I knew we could. I just. This one.

You just didn't want to. No.

This is gonna be. This would be an interesting month.

Yep, I think so.

And all because I'm. I said, I can't believe I'm the first person to bring up a Nick Cage movie.

Yep, you sparked a little fire that's been burning ever since.

Almost a year. It's been. It's more than a year.

It's been burning full all out blaze now.

Yeah. Been stoking that fire, throwing kindling on it.

Every night. Like my brain, like it repeats before I go to bed. I just hear that in my head. I'm like, huh?

Because you're listening to the episode specifically.

I only listen to the episode every night before I go to bed. The whole Hour and a half of it. Or however long. Yeah, I can't sleep without it.

All right, well, I guess you know what that means. We got to find out what's happening in W2 and W2's immediate W.

Now,

I told you, I. I picked up my movie beginning of last week, okay. And I said, there's a method to my madness. And I already have the DVD in my hand, so there's no going back, even though I'm. We'll see. We'll see how this goes. Now I'm like, I don't really know a lot of Nick Cage movies. I mean, I know of them and I know he's like, got his craziness. And there's over the top Nick Cage and there's wacky Nick Cage and there's Oscar winning Nick Cage. I'm just like, well, how about IMDb. I'm gonna sort Nick Cage movies by meta score.

Oh, okay.

Descending. So at first, at the top was one of the Spiderverse movies. Like, well, I've seen that already. So I flipped the arrow. And at the. At the worst ranked meta. What? Hold on. Was left behind. And I'm like, I don't want to watch that.

That's you. Okay.

Some religious movie. I was like, I don't need that. So then I'm like, well, let me sort by IMDb score. I went to the top and it's like, it was spider verse again. I'm like, well, I've seen that. So I flipped it and it wasn't left behind. It was Jiu Jitsu. And that's what we're watching.

We're watching that?

Yes.

What? That's a newer one.

Yeah, it's newer.

I wanted to see that when it came out. That's a good pick because I, like I said I did kind of want to see it.

So I'm like, I want to watch a movie I never seen. You know, Like, I get it. There's a lot. There's 145 movies like, I chose from.

Yep. That's hard.

I just did it this way. Yeah. Crippled by choice. So I flipped the movies and I went.

So you picked with the worst rated movie.

I'll be honest, I. That's what you decided?

Yep.

I told my wife that I was pretty sure you were gonna pick a specific movie.

Okay.

You did not pick that movie. And I'm actually kind of surprised.

Yeah, I have a theory, but Keith is going to be.

I have a theory where it was too, because I almost picked it and I was like, no, I'm gonna be wacky.

Yeah.

I thought you. I really thought you're gonna pick Raising Arizona.

Oh, no, that was my thinking at all. That's a good one, Corn Brothers.

Yeah, which is why I assume that you would pick something, because I know you like the Coen Brothers lots. So you at least find a. Yeah. A version of Nick Cage that you would probably enjoy.

Who knows? I might like the two version of Nick Cage.

Well, luckily there's four copies at my library and they're all available.

And there. There's no malice behind my choice.

You picked the worst film rated on IMDb.

No, left behind was the worst rated film. But then I met a critic. But When I went IMDb, it was Jiu Jitsu.

You're scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

The fact it's called Jiu Jitsu. They better be doing Jiu Jitsu this entire movie. And I doubt they do because he's got a sword on the COVID Nick

Cage better have mastered Jiu Jitsu for the film.

I'm sure he did.

Well, if anything, you've added a little more awareness to it, and there may be three more reviews coming right up.

Yeah, I mean, there's. I mean, just watching a movie.

Yeah. It's not like the end of the world, you know, if. Hopefully there's not some horrible apocalypse disaster.

Oh, Christ. This is last movie I ever seen.

Yes, that's what I was just thinking. Oh, my gosh. Please don't let this be last movie I ever see.

Look, it could be good. Maybe I'll be happy. It's the last movie I've ever seen.

I could die now.

All right, I'd be happy to go. Maybe it will push me further along. If you're watching this, you just never hear from me. Wow, Terry really didn't like that.

There we go.

There's no point. It's over. Oh, no. Okay. Well, excited?

We got through week one of Conair. We're on to Jiu Jitsu.

Yep.

For next week.

I'm intrigued.

How can you not be with the title, like Jiu Jitsu? All right, well, I guess that leaves us with nothing to do but to end this the way we end everything. We're no strangers to love.

You know the rules and so do I.

Thanks for listening to Fumbling through film. New episodes drop every Thursday. Got feedback or questions? Email [email protected] you can see our films to fumble before you tumble into the grave and other musings on Letterboxd @FOMO. Through Film. The through is T HRU. You can also follow Keith on Instagram @KG33Lives and on Letterboxd3030. Terry is on Letterboxd @Terry2099. Derek is on Letterboxd Derek the number nine and then the word nine. All original music is done by the Dr. Trey of Kansas, Terry. So hit him up for them Bangers. Our new podcast logo is done by the delightful and talented Sanjay Vicky Nayak. You can find her on Instagram at Einstein. That's Einstein with a K in there. We'll see you next week. As we keep on fumbling.